"i'm okay. it'll get better."

When my friend was little he used to say that when he got hurt. Usually tears would be streaming down his face and you really couldn't tell what he was saying because he was crying so hard. But eventually, he was right. He was okay. It got better. Did I already tell that story? It seems like I did. Oh well.

Suddenly we're at that time of year when I realize that hey! I get really depressed when there isn't very much daylight!! Last year at this time I only had two classes and an internship where I didn't really do anything. It wasn't so bad. This year I have five classes and an internship that wears me out. I've been really tired the past couple weeks and this morning I think I kind of got pushed over the edge.

Wha' happened?

My car was broken into AGAIN last night. Almost exactly one month after the last time. This time they broke out the little window in the back. And this time it was even more senseless because there wasn't a roll of quarters or an outdated ipod FM transmitter thingy to take. Jesse took it to the same dude that fixed the window last time and he was kind enough to give us a frequent broken window discount. I suppose it's important to be grateful for the little things. And now I have a car alarm to protect the nothing of value that I keep in there. I can't believe I had to get a car alarm to protect my windows. What the fuck, Todd Jones?

Jesse was kind enough to drive my car to work and take care of everything. But I was mean to him when he suggested I get a car alarm. I don't want a car alarm. I hate car alarms. Of course it makes sense to get a car alarm. Replacing windows is expensive. After I hung up the phone with him, I knew I was an asshole for being mean to him. I was walking down the street on my way to class and started crying. Crying because I was mean to him. Crying because I have to get a car alarm. Crying because I have a million things to do for school and have no motivation to do any of them. Crying because I don't want to flunk out of school so will have to find some way to get shit done. Crying because I don't have a job and have no income and am completely dependent on another human being.

My own personal winter season is here. It feels like it's way too early but it's here. I have a feeling it's going to be a long one.

I know I'm okay. It'll get better.