baby, baby.

I am sending thoughts and prayers to Minneapolis, MN today. My best friend from college is bringing she and her husband's twin boys into the world today. Cade and Eli, you are truly blessed with the most amazing, patient, and loving parents. Just remember, on Saturday evening I fully expect you to be saying "GO BLUE!" between eating and shitting. And be sure to tell your grandpa Tom all about how U of M icers kick ass. Anybody's ass (but mostly Laker ass). I can't wait to meet you guys!

Congratulations Juli and Nate and the rest of the family!!

shhhh....

The professor engaged the class of 20 students in a conversation about communication. Her main point was that words sometimes have several meanings and not everyone knows every meaning. For example, when she was growing up, people started to say, "that's bad" when they really meant "that's good." She asked the class for other examples. A woman sitting in the front row was wearing a very professional business suit. After class she goes to work as a social worker at a local hospital. She raised her hand because she had an example to share.

"Sometimes my granddaughter likes to take baths with me. One time she said, "Grandma! Why is your pee-pee hairy and mine isn't?" She calls her girl part a pee-pee!"

Silence.

bumper sticker

We saved the world from religious extremists
Who will save us?

this is love.

him: *reading a brochure i got in the mail for some stupid social work conference* Hey did you see this? If you go to the dance and have the best costume you win an ipod. Baby! You can go and win me an ipod!!

me: I would rather work at McDonald's full-time for a month and buy you an ipod. Jesus. I think I would have to work there full-time for a month to make enough to buy you an ipod.

him: Yeah, at entry-level.

me: Well of course. What other level would I enter at?

him: Oh you'd be good enough for a manager position.

me: *giving him my best "take it back" look* That's not a compliment.




Postscript:
10 minutes later...
him: You know what I mean, right? You are good enough for a management position.
me: *still giving him the look*

jogging doesn't help.

After class I came home to go for a quick run on the treadmill before heading out to visit some social service agencies in the area (not for fun but for an actual assignment from my field placement supervisor!!). My stomach hurt a little bit but it was weird pain. Not "I'm going to puke," not "I'm going to fart," not "I have to take a giant dump," just pain. I figured I would still get on the treadmill and would either feel better or would die.

Two minutes into my little jog I had the sudden and urgent need to puke. Don't worry, the bathroom wasn't far.

Note to self: tummy ache is NOT cured by exercise.

all that is wrong with the world.

My niece, Shelby, started preschool yesterday. This was a big deal because she had been on a waiting list to get into the school and was sooooo excited to go. When I found out that she would be starting school I thought it would be fun to get her a little gift. I went to the toy section and was trying to decide what to get for her. She is almost 3 years old and I know nothing about almost-3-year-olds. I do, however, know she loves Polly Pockets. I rushed to the Polly Pocket aisle and thought I would get the Back To School Polly Pocket. Yeah. I rushed for nothing. There was every kind of shopping Polly Pocket, every kind of cute little pet Polly Pocket, every kind of beauty treatment Polly Pocket (luckily Polly Pocket is already thin so there wasn't a liposuction Polly Pocket) but not one Polly Pocket related to doing something smart or going to school. We are all going to hell in the same Polly Pocket handbasket.

something you don't see every day.

On my way home from Ikea this morning I was driving 80 mph on the freeway with a posted speed limit of 55 mph. It's Detroit, there wasn't much traffic, and I have a radar detector so it really isn't that big of a deal. In my rear view mirror I spotted a little car weaving in and out of traffic. They were gaining on me pretty quickly. When they got to me and began to pass me I looked over to see what kind of person was driving 90 mph on the freeway with a posted speed limit of 55 mph. It was a little old white lady who could barely see over the steering wheel. She looked to be gripping the steering wheel with both hands and she had a little old lady passenger who had the biggest smile on her face. I just about died. I think they stole the car and were joy riding. I just hope they don't kill anyone on their little outing. I'll check the news later.

hobby.

I need one. Any suggestions?

"no"

Such an easy word to say. No. I say it a lot. I think. A few months ago I was unable to say No and am now getting ready to go to Ypsilanti to help train a bunch of volunteers, interns and new staff at the agency I used to work for. I'm getting ready to go but I'm wishing I had said no so I could continue my impromtu naptime this afternoon. There is something so lovely about taking a hot shower on a cool afternoon and sliding into bed with really soft sheets to watch tv for a few minutes and then waking up all cozy and warm with Willie Horton (cat or man) all snuggled up next to you. But then the not lovely part is realizing, OH SHIT, you were supposed to be at a meeting up at the school of Social Work and now you are going to miss the meeting and have to hurry a little to get to Ypsilanti to train a bunch of people that you don't care about on an issue that while you care about it, you are too dazed to be passionate about it. And the sad part is that when my ex-co-worker asks me to help her train the new volunteers in another few months, I will say yes because this ex-co-worker was one of the only people that respected me and was nice to me during my 4 years at that hell hole.

So. What does this say about me? Be nice to me and you will be able to get me to do just about anything.

It's Tuesday and I am supposed to be at my field placement. But I'm not. I talked to my supervisor and she is planning an orientation meeting for Monday morning. Great. That makes us two weeks behind. When I told her I was really worried about not getting my time in she said not to worry and that there will be lots to work on from home too. Great. Just what I always wanted.
The ghetto mama cat either moved her ghetto kittens or the ghetto kittens are dead and the ghetto mama took off. I've seen her a couple times down the street. We probably scared her away with all of our staring at her ghetto babies. Oh well. I'm sure she'll be back next year.

I went to the Jack to return some cans and get some groceries. Of course I walked out the door without the cans and didn't realize it until I was walking by the can return area at the Jack. Jack ass. I did, however, remember to buy the groceries while I was at the Jack.

Now I have a headache so I am going to drink some caffeinated soda and try to read some shit about social work for school.

miracle denied.

I plugged my phone in to charge it and it died. And it didn't come back. I took it to the store and they said sometimes it just happens. I didn't bother to tell them I had messed with it. The good news: I got a new phone. The bad news: I lost everything on my old phone. If you don't hear from me for a while it's probably because I don't have your phone number. Call me and then I'll have it again.

it's a miracle!!

My phone works again. It started working yesterday for no reason. I'm hoping it will continue to work. Having to take it in and pretend I didn't do anything to it was going to be very difficult for me. And from now on, I will have Jesse or someone else mess with it to try to turn off the EV-DO and then when it stops working I will be able to honestly tell the phone people that I didn't do anything to it. Yeah. That's it. It works for now. Whew!!

uh oh.

My phone is dead. I tried CPR and nothing worked. If you need to call me, leave me a voicemail and I'll get back to you someday. When I have a phone that works. Oh how I hate technology.

OOO!! Maybe now I can get a pink phone...

things i've learned.

• If the tires on your car have little green caps covering the air holes, it isn't because the tire guy tried (but failed miserably) to match your dark green car. It is because your new tires are filled with nitrogen and you shouldn't fill them with air. If you got your new tires at Costco, they filled them with nitrogen even though they didn't bother to tell you.
• Be very careful when hitting the "reply to all" button on your email. If you choose to use this feature, choose your words wisely. It is possible that newlyweds will be included in the "all" and writing that you "thought a Vegas wedding was bad enough" will hurt their feelings. The newlyweds didn't think there was anything bad about their Vegas wedding and they will always have fond memories of it. But since the sender probably didn't mean for us to read that, I am reminding everyone to be sure to use care when replying to all.
  
• When I am feeling down, fried mushrooms and tiramisu will brighten my day.
  

Unfortunately, that is all I have learned lately.

I need to get a life.

Today has just been stupid. Of course my field placement supervisor never called. I got up and went for a jog on the treadmill. I didn't want to but knew that tomorrow and Thursday I have class so there is no way I'll get up early to jog and that would be two more days of laziness. After that I started to feel sick. Migraine, again, and really sick to my stomach. So I took a couple Excedrin and laid around trying not to puke them up. My allergies are killing me so I decided to take a couple Sudafed. Then a little while later I decided it was time to get some reading done so I took a Ritalin. I feel like a junky.

Feeling gross isn't why I need to get a life. I need to get a life because yesterday Jesse and I discovered a mama ghetto cat and her adorable ghetto kittens under our neighbor's back porch. The mama ghetto cat had kittens there last spring and they were also adorable. Who knows what happened to them. I do know our neighbor's are not big fans of cats so I suspected they got rid of them. Anyway, I was surprised to see them because it is pretty late in the year and the kittens are pretty young, probably 5 or 6 weeks old at the most. As far as I can tell, there are three kittens, a gray tabby, an orange tabby and a calico. So freaking cute! A little while ago I could hear a cat crying. I went out on our porch to see if it was Barbaro Garbey. It was ghetto mama and she was sitting out by the neighbor's porch and she was crying and crying and crying. And there weren't any ghetto kittens with her. So now I'm all worried that the ghetto kittens washed away in the big rain storm that came through today. Why am I worried about ghetto kittens? I already told you. I need to get a life.

study day. i guess.

Today was supposed to be my first day of field placement. Last week I emailed my supervisor and never heard back from her. I got up this morning and called her and left a voicemail. A little while later I called her cell phone and she answered! She said she had a ton of stuff going on because there is a big grant due on Thursday and her husband is having some health problems so she was thinking of having a training for the interns on Friday. Hmmm... That is great except I am supposed to be putting in 15 hours each week at the agency! And if I get behind the first week I won't be very happy. And we just bought a new refridgerator and it is going to be delivered on Friday. But then she said she might have me come in tomorrow to help with the grant. I told her I would loooooove to do that. Not really. But I really don't want to get behind on my hours!!

So I spent most of today reading crap for class on Wednesday. I probably should have read more over the weekend but never got around to it. Oh well. I doubt she'll call tomorrow so then I'll have time to read stuff for class on Thursday.

Time to go cook dinner.

migraine.

I hate migraines. I have had one today and it has pretty much ruined my day. Jamaal, the kid across the street, asked me to come to his birthday party and I decided to skip it because my head hurts. I was supposed to go visit my friend in the hospital but I decided to skip it because my head hurts. Ugh. It isn't so bad that I am throwing up but it is bad enough to make me want to crawl in a dark hole and not come out for a long time. Instead I am laying around kind of watching tv. And now I'm looking at my computer screen and it doesn't feel very good. The Excedrin Migraine helped but we are all out of the usual migraine relief. That's probably just as well. *sigh* Jesse is at the birthday party. I hope he is having fun. Oh, and I found out that Jamal is 13, not 9 or 10 like I had originally thought. The little girl that lives next door to him is 9. And I don't know how to spell his name. Oh well. Happy Birthday Jamal! Eat some cake for me!!!

i'm beautiful.

I forgot a very funny thing that happened today. I went to get an oil change and while I was sitting in my car waiting for the oil change dudes to finish I had the following conversation with one of the oil change dudes...

oil change dude: your total is $32
me: *handed him my debit card*
oil change dude: I've worked on your car before.
me: oh. Really? *thought about telling him to fuck off because all Asians don't indeed look alike and he hadn't ever worked on my car before. But didn't actually say it because I have been to that oil change place a million times and it is quite possible he has worked on my car before*
oil change dude: you're really beautiful.
me: *gave him my best "are you kidding me???" look*
oil change dude: oh. I'm sorry. Was that offensive?
me: um. no. It would have been offensive if you said I'm really ugly.
oil change dude: well you're not. You're beautiful.
me: um. thanks. *debated whether or not to ask for a free or at least discounted air filter but decided against it because that just seems sleazy*

I think I really do say "um" that much. Maybe just to oil change dudes.

Wooo hooooooo!!! I survived two days of school. There hasn't been too much ridiculousness to report but don't worry, it's still early in the year. I have picked out the person Most Likely To Get Punched By Me and he happens to be in both my classes. He really likes the sound of his own voice and really feels like he has lots of interesting things to teach the class. He is wrong. Hopefully the professors will teach us how it is wrong for social workers to punch people before he gets too out of control.

Today has been kind of a crazy day. It started at 4AM when I woke up to a very loud popping, exploding noise and bright flashing lights. I was pretty sure some branch of the Armed Forces was looking for weapons of mass destruction in my backyard. I looked out the window and could see something exploding on the top of an electric pole somewhere in the alley behind our house. Of course we lost power. Jesse called DTE and the message said the problem would be fixed in 3 hours. Yeah. Right. I got back from class around 10:30AM and still no power. I left around 11:30AM and still no power. I was freaking out because Joanna had given me some homemade sausage and steak other yummy meat products that were in the freezer! We were very careful to not open the freezer for one second.

I went to Ann Arbor to visit my doctor for my oh-s0-fun yearly girly exam. My dr. just switched to a new office and it seemed a lot better than the old one. My appointment was at 1:30 and I was out of there at 2. Awesome!

After my appointment I went to the shelter to visit an old co-worker but she wasn't there so I went to the library and read for class. I was there for 2 hours! Amazing.

Then I had a hair appointment. I still haven't been able to quite break up with Dwight, my fabulous stylist. After the last appointment I thought it would be easy because he didn't do a very good job. But he was back to his old self again tonight and I totally love my hair. And he still hasn't charged me his newly raised price. Maybe it's because I told him we had to break up?

I'm home now. We have power. It looks like it came back on around 1PM. The ice cream in the freezer didn't look like it melted and refroze so I'm sure the meat is fine. Yay!! I was seriously worried about it all day. Whew!!

We're watching the Tigers play the Twins. This is a really important series. I'm hoping the Tigs can sweep but we'll see. It's good to see Rondell White, my ex-boyfriend (yeah. i wish.), even though he plays for the Twins now.

I'm exhausted after getting up at 7AM two days in a row. Allergies are kicking my ass so it might be time to take some Benadryl and pass out for the night. Whatever you do, don't call me tomorrow before noon and expect me to answer the phone.

Peace out.

school night.

Tomorrow is my first day of class. Why do I feel like I'm going to puke?

happy labor day!

I don't think I ever posted an update on my friend that was missing. Last week we found out she was at a hospital not too far from Detroit. I've been visiting her every couple days. It's been really difficult because she isn't doing well. It was a relief to know she was safe and not dead on the street somewhere but it was also heartbreaking because it is going to be a long time before she is stable again. But we're all hanging in there and I know I'm looking forward to the day that I can smile and laugh with her again.

Labor day weekend has been pretty low key. Just what I needed before school starts on Wednesday! Friday afternoon I met Katie in Ann Arbor for lunch. It was so much fun! We ate at Dominick's and we didn't even drink too much sangria. I haven't hung out on campus for a really long time so it was fun to see all the changes and to just chill with Katie. Yay!!

Yesterday Jesse and I decided to go have a nice dinner at one of our favorite Italian restaurants. It was yummy but took forever! We were at the restaurant for 2 1/2 hours!! Our waiter was our friend, Sean, and he insisted on buying us dessert. We had already pigged out so I was pretty sure I was going to die if I ate another bite. But since it was free, we couldn't say no! And I ate some of it and didn't die. Whew!!

Tomorrow is errand-running day. Seems like I have a ton to do but I think I can get it done pretty quickly. I hope so because we have a Tigers game tomorrow night! And then school on Wednesday morning. Yikes!!