The other day I was thinking about how I will never have to go through the breakup of a relationship again. Isn't that the point of getting married? Well, that and health insurance, of course! I was thinking about how sometimes in past relationships I didn't realize how bad it was until something really obvious happened. For example, I had been dating Brett for 9 months before he gave me pearls for Valentine's Day. Before Valentine's Day I hadn't been feeling great about the relationship and knew it wasn't going to last forever. But on that night, when I opened the little leather box and saw the pearls and saw that he was seriously giving me pearls for a gift, I realized that he didn't know me at all. The worst part was that the relationship was so messed up that I felt compelled to lie and pretend like I loved the pearl necklace. I acted like it was the prettiest thing I had ever seen. Before those pearls I had never worn pearls in my life. Never. Ever. I don't have anything against pearls. I know people who love them and wear them and look beautiful in them. I, on the other hand, don't. So we broke up. I don't think I ever told him I hated the pearls. But now they are fun to wear as a joke and I keep them close just in case I need to grab them at the last minute.
That's right. That's the calendar in the kitchen. I am such a bitch.
The other time that sticks out is when I went to meet a man that my friend thought would make a great boyfriend for me. The first time we met he offered me a Michelob Ultra Light beer and I knew it was over before it began.
It's so good to know I don't have to worry about receiving any stupid jewelry or ultra light beer from Jesse!
P.S. It is really hard to write a post about pearl necklaces without it sounding totally dirty!!
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