Parker St. Madness: rain rain go away

I'm thankful that southeast MI isn't consumed with rain like New England. However, the past week has been very rainy. We have an electric lawn mower so haven't been able to cut the grass. If we had a gas mower I wouldn't mind mowing when it is a little wet but I really didn't feel like the possibility of getting electricuted in the name of having grass that looks shitty, as opposed to really shitty. We don't even really have grass in the back yard. It's mostly weeds. The back yard weeds were about knee high so I was happy that the sun came out today and I was able to cut it all down. It took forever but it looks better. The assholes next door have really nice pretty green grass with very few weeds. I hate them for that. I didn't feel bad when I mowed over the dandelions and the little dandelion seeds got caught in the light breeze and flew over the fence to Ed's yard. Hahahahahaaaaa!!

I can't believe I'm writing a blog about my yard. Again. I'm sure it has happened before.

This morning I met my parents at The Somerset Collection (apparently it is too fancy to be called a mall) to shop for a wedding dress for me. Here are some observations:

my parents are getting old. I don't understand how they can both kick my ass on the treadmill but walk so slow at the mall. OH MY GOD. I'm not kidding. They both spend at least 45 minutes each morning on the treadmill and they go faster than me. But not at the mall. I thought I was with Joanna's 88 year old grandma again! They just took forever to get anywhere. My mom has some health problems that make it difficult for her to walk long distances so of course I didn't say anything. But damn woman, why can you go so far on the treadmill? Is it because you keep trying to get somewhere??
I'm fat. I've never been skinny. I know I write way too much about how much I weigh and blah blah blah. I don't usually worry about it too much because I'm fairly healthy and just could stand to lose 15 or 20 pounds. Not too bad. I guess. But after dress shopping I'm pretty sure people my size just weren't meant to wear clothes. It was really hard to find stuff that fit me. Because we were at hoity-toity mall there were a bunch of designer shops, like Betsey Johnson and BCBG Max Azria. Um. Apparently fashion designers don't like anyone that is over a size 8. So when I show up they don't really have lots for me. I guess I did find a couple dresses at BCBG Max Azria but nothing that screamed "YOU MUST GET MARRIED IN THIS DRESS!". Everyone says I'll know "the one" when I see it. They don't finish that sentence with what to do if "the one" doesn't fit!
I hate shopping.
my parents rock. They drove two hours to go to a fancy ass mall with me and then I didn't even find a dress and they didn't care! And when I saw a dress that I liked but it was $400 and I didn't want to try it on because it was $400 they said I should try it on because if I liked it it didn't matter how much it cost. They probably knew it wouldn't fit.
I'm an asshole for complaining about how slow my parents walk because they bought lunch for Jesse and I at P.F. Chang's. YUM!

Here's a photo from the Tigers vs. Indians game last Friday.