yuck.

It's 9:10AM and my day already sucks. It was really hard to get out of bed this morning. And then I almost fell asleep while driving to work. And now I have a head ache. Last night I worked until 9PM so I was going to try to leave early today. But now I have to meet with a woman at 4:30 this afternoon. I just might have to reschedule that meeting and go home now. Just kidding. Kind of.

busy weekend.

Yesterday Jesse and I headed to the Gibraltar Trade Center to get Juan Berenguer's autograph. Tons of fun! This is one of the many reasons I love the GTC...



That's right. Amish fudge and Amish beef jerky.

After GTC we went to East Lansing to (Scene)Metrospace to see some art. This was one of my favorite installations.






And not just because I know the artists! Mr. Wyse and Ms. Miller are elementary art teachers who save birthday cupcakes from their students. And then they turn them into art. Brilliant! This represents several years of hard work and saving cupcakes.

We hung out with my parents today. We haven't seen them to get or give Christmas presents yet so that was fun. And we even got to have the "we've updated our will and are about to go on vacation so let's talk about what you will inherit if we die" talk. Oh what fun!

Tomorrow is work. But it's okay because I have a 3-day week ahead of me. And I decided to officially announce my resignation sooner than I thought I would. It might be fun to take part in choosing my replacement. It might be a pain in the ass. We'll see!

true love.

Lately Jesse and I have been talking about marriage and what it means and what it potentially means for us. Last night I asked him what changes would occur in our relationship if we did get married. This morning he asked me what I thought would change. The following conversation took place...(not exact words but close enough...)

Jen: Well. I guess it would mean that we wouldn't be able to just break up when we go through a hard time. We'll be in it for the long haul. I don't know if I'm explaining myself very well.
Jesse: Yeah. I know what you mean. There has to be a word for it...
Jen: Yeah...

at the same time
Jesse: committed
Jen: stuck

Jesse: asshole.

Ah we are so in love.

it has begun. the end is near.

Today I started telling people that March 31 will be my last day at this agency. The first person I told was the person I work most closely with. She is pretending to be bummed and sad that I am leaving. I write 'pretending' because lately she has been a mean and nasty bitch. As a matter of fact, when she says, "Oh I'm so sad you're leaving!" and "I'm so bummed!" there is a bit of a smile there. She can't even hide it. The second person I told is my supervisor. She wasn't surprised and didn't pretend to be sad or bummed. She just told me that the list of stuff she gave me to do a couple weeks ago wasn't really her idea, it was her supervisor's and that even though I'm leaving, I should still do the stuff on the list. I started to laugh. I almost said, "fuck you." but instead I agreed to do the stuff on the list. Then I looked for the list. I lost it. So then I had to email her and ask her for the list. Ooops. I'm not off to a good start on the list. There's more to this story but I can't tell it right now. It's too long and I have this list of things to do to start working on. Once I find it.

Can you see the light at the end of the tunnel? For once I can!

i...can't...breathe...

This afternoon I was sitting at the table eating my lunch and talking to the maintenance guy when a guy that lives here at the shelter walked in and sat down at the table. I started to gag on my sandwich because he was wearing so much cheap cologne. It was disgusting. I threw what was left of my sandwich away and started packing up the rest of my stuff when the maintenance guy asked the other guy what was on his neck. He said he cut himself shaving. Then the maintenance guy said, "no. That looks like a lip shaped something." I looked and sure enough, he had a big ol' hickey on his neck. Between the cheap cologne and the hickey I vomited right there. No, not really. But I wanted to. He left an hour ago and I can still smell the nasty cologne. Yuck.

diner.

Last night Jesse and I had dinner at the Elwood Bar & Grill with Julie and Mark. My favorite quote of the evening came from Mark. He was talking about how he got to drive by the Rodeo Hall of Fame in Colorado Springs all the time.

Mark: Yeah it's pretty cool. There's a giant statue of a guy riding a cowboy out front.
Me: Oh really?

or something like that.

breakfast

My fun weight-loss side effect from the medication is coming to an end. I think I'm slowly but surely gaining weight back. It's hard to tell because I have been weighing myself every day and it varies from day to day. But I'm definitely weighing more than I did a month ago. So I'm trying to watch what I eat and when I eat it. And bloody mary's are drinks so they don't count. This morning I was starving on the way to work. I was trying to figure out what I should eat. I didn't want to get a bagel because those are really only enjoyable if they are the asiago cheese bagels from Panera, or a plain bagel with a ridiculous amount of cream cheese from Tim Horton's. Neither sounded very healthy so I decided to go to my office and figure it out from there. Maybe I would run out later and buy some yogurt or something? As I sat at my computer replying to Joanna's emails there was a half of a Heath bar staring at me. I bought it last week and have been slowly picking at it after I eat my lunch. It kept staring at me. Then I'm pretty sure I heard it mocking me and my weight gain. So I ate it.

Breakfast problem...solved!

just a day.

Sometimes I hate days like this. Not because something bad has happened. But because nothing has happened. On bad days I'm grateful for days like this. On days like this I want to gouge my own eyes out because I'm bored. Never happy. That's me.

OH!! WAIT!! This morning I was accosted by a Jehovah's Witness woman at the local BP station!! I was all crabby because I saw her coming but I knew I had to behave because the car at the pump next to me was a Wayne County Sheriff car. And I should behave because it's the nice thing to do. She was actually less forward than the other ones. When I smiled and said "get the fuck out of my face" she just turned and walked away. Just kidding. I really didn't smile and said "No thank you." when she asked me if she could leave me with her little magazine. And she really did just turn and walk away. I was hoping she broke some kind of law and the Wayne County Sheriff would come running out and arrest her. Didn't happen. Keep your eyes peeled for these people, people. It's not a fun situation.

Yay! My day hasn't been a complete waste!

This afternoon I took a client to the Prosecuting Attorney's office to meet with someone about child support. The client has a learning disability so I was helping her fill out some forms before her meeting. I read the question to her, she answered and I write it down on the form. The forms asked for information like the date the child was born, the date the child was conceived and where the child was conceived. What? My client and I just looked at each other with wide eyes. I looked at the form and saw the fine print read, "city/county/state". Whew. We were cracking up. She asked me if I thought anyone has ever written "back seat of the car" in that line. I don't know. I kind of hope so!

dehydration.

Last night I was hungry but I had already eaten dinner. I didn't want to eat dinner again so I did the next best thing...made myself a bloody mary. So filling! So good! Unfortunately, also so salty! I was so thirsty after drinking it so started to drink water. And I drank a lot of water. At 11PM I went pee. Then again at midnight. Then at 1. Then at 2. And then I got to sleep for more than an hour and didn't go again until 5. Next time I'll have to drink a bloody mary much earlier in the day. That way I won't be up all night peeing.

a new plan.

I am still trying to decide whether or not I should quit my job. Most days (Monday through Friday) I am pretty sure it is a good idea. Some days I'm scared shitless. I have been single for much of my adult life. That has meant I take care of myself. I have gone to work and paid the bills (or maybe I didn't?!) and made decisions based on not having anyone but myself to fall back on. But now my situation has changed. I have a sugar daddy that will take care of me. Right? There is a part of me that knows that I cannot see into the future and is scared shitless to depend on anyone except myself. So I'm still trying to figure out what the hell to do. It's not that I think it's a bad thing to depend on someone else. I just don't know that I am there yet. I just don't know that we're there yet! We've talked about it alot this weekend and I am feeling a little bit better. Still on the fence but not feeling as shitty about it. I'm feeling a little bit pressured because there is a job opening at work that the executive director and the person leaving the job have asked me to apply for. If I don't turn in my resume this week then I won't be considered for the position. What to do...what to do...

Jesse actually came up with a great idea. He said I should quit my job and audition for every reality tv show there is. Well, except for American Idol because we all know I don't/can't sing. And I'm not a good enough actor to go on and pretend to be one of the people who thinks they can sing really well and are all pissed when Simon, Paula and Randy make fun of them. And there was already an Asian to make fun of a couple years ago so I can't even go that route. William Hung ruined my life. If you know of any reality tv shows that I can apply for, please be kind and let me know, you know, just in case I actually get some balls and quit my job.

all baseball. all the time.

After last weekend's trip to Cooperstown to the National Baseball Hall of Fame, I was pretty sure this weekend would be boring and sad. Tigerfest was going on down at the Joe Louis Arena so Jesse and I went and met Kristin there. Last year was fun and I got my photo taken with Kirk Gibson. Well...this year there was no Kirk Gibson. But there was Mario Impemba and Rod Allen!!



I was very excited to see them. And as you can see, they were equally excited to see me. If you don't know who they are, I don't consider you my friend. Either that or you don't get Fox Sports Network's coverage of the Detroit Tigers on a TV at your house. And then it would be okay for you to not know who they are. Rod Allen actually played on the Tigers team for a minute way back when. I don't know more details than that. I think I actually have his baseball card. I need to find it so he can autograph it! I love Tigerfest!

OH! We also saw Ambur Rose, who was present at last year's Tigerfest. She is all grown up and didn't have her face painted tiger-style. Lucky for her, Good Gravy was playing this year too. And even luckier for her, she got to play tambourine with the band! I am hoping that if she comes next year she will have obtained a sense of rhythm. She was not a very good tambourine player. I'm telling you, Tigerfest is the place to be!

long day.

Conversation from tonight...

Me: I think I'll have a bloody mary.
Me: That's a great idea!!
Me: Ooo yeah, make mine a double.
Me: Double vodka or double pickle?
Me: Yes.

is it march yet?

I hope to be done working here by the end of March. That's my goal. It's good to have goals.

This morning I was at work at 7 AM to take a woman to Southfield. She is from another country and is a nurse. In order to get a job in the U.S. she has to take a couple exams. This morning she had her first test. She said it could take as long as 5 hours but it might take less time. I told her I would plan on picking her up at 1:30 PM and gave her my cell phone number in case she finished earlier. At 10:30 I was sitting down to a lovely Thursday morning team meeting when my cell phone rang. It was the woman and she was already done with her exam! I went to tell my supervisor that I would be leaving...

Me: She just called me and is done with her test so I am going to go pick her up now.
Supervisor: Well I don't know.
Me: ???? (I didn't ask her, I was telling her!)
S: You should ask the team what they think.
Me: Um. She is done so I'm going to go get her now.
S: Yes I know but we have to meet to talk about the shelter families. Can't she wait a few minutes?
Me: She's already going to be waiting a few minutes because it's going to take me 40 minutes to get there. I'm going to get her now.
S: Well I'm not sure.

Right when I was about to punch her my coworker said, "We can talk about the shelter families without you. Just go." and then my supervisor got up and walked away. I looked at my coworker and we both just shrugged. I left. This was so much more frustrating than it seems when I write about it. Instead of saying she wanted me to stay for the meeting she said I had to ask the team what they thought?? Or maybe she really wanted me to ask the team? I have no idea. And that's what is most frustrating. I thought maybe she would be pissed that I left but I talked to her a few minutes ago and she didn't say anything. Although I guess even if she was pissed she wouldn't say anything.

The end of March will be here soon. Just not soon enough.

eeeewwwwww.

Isn't this a cute little movie theater? It's at the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Jesse and I got to watch an exciting movie about baseball in the theater. It was all good until all of a sudden I smelled a fart. I kept looking at Jesse with the "was that you???" look but he refused to look at me. Then I asked him if it was him and he said "NO." At that point I turned around and started looking for Chris. Chris? Were you there and somehow I missed you??

dinner hell.

Saturday night we stopped in Niagara for dinner. We went and checked out the falls first. So pretty! Canada is crazy. There were casinos, Hard Rock Cafe, Planet Hollywood, Rainforest Cafe, etc. All this shit that we didn't really want any part of. We found a quiet looking Ruby Tuesday restaurant and decided to eat there. The hostess seated us in a booth next to a family. Jesse faced the family and my back was to them. When we got to the table the family's jackets were draped over the booth. The kid had to tell the parents that someone was sitting at the table and I heard the man say, "We were here first." but he moved the jackets. All during dinner the family was annoying and loud. When they were getting ready to leave the kids were throwing things. All fun and games until I got hit in the back with a french fry. I turned to tell them to give them 'what for' and Jesse said I said the 'f' word but I don't remember. I do, however, remember the man telling me that the kids threw a crayon. Interesting considering there was a french fry right next to me. I said it was disgusting. The man said he couldn't believe I thought a crayon was disgusting. I didn't know what to say. I didn't say anything. The kids didn't apologize. The man was an asshole. The mom didn't say anything. I let it go because I wasn't going to say anything nice and clearly the man was too retarded to apologize. I know they were Americans because I overheard him asking the waitress what would happen if he paid for dinner with his American credit card. I'm pissed that I didn't think of anything good to say. I'm pissed that the parents let the kids throw crayons or french fries in a restaurant and then couldn't even apologize. But I let it go because Jesse said I needed to. It's kind of a funny story so I thought I'd share it with you anyway. But don't worry Jesse, I let it go!

i love baseball.

What a crazy ass weekend! On Friday night Jesse and I jokingly talked about going to the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY. I have today off for MLK, jr.'s birthday and Jesse was going to stay home too. Saturday morning when Jesse got up we talked about it again. And decided to go! We left at 1 p.m. and ended up getting to our hotel in Cooperstown at 10:45 p.m.

I took photos on the way. You think this is Detroit?

Wrong! It's Hamilton, Ontario. Those crazy polluting Canadians! We didn't stop at the Ikea store. I would definitely have taken photos of that!

We did decide to stop at Niagara Falls in Canada. By the time we left I decided that I am never going to Canada again because I hate Canadians. WAIT! I love the Canadians. It's the Americans on vacation in Canada that I HATE. I'll tell that story later.
The falls were very pretty. It was very very very cold and windy in Canada.

The roads were fine in New York...until we got off the freeway to drive 30 miles to Cooperstown. Then it was snowy and blowy and I couldn't see the road and I thought we might die because it is really hilly and curvy and lots of other words that end in 'y'. But we made it. And I took this self portrait so I could always remember what it felt like to finally stop driving in shitty weather.

Not so cute, I know.

Sunday morning we got up and went to the Hall of Fame. I was so excited! I especially enjoyed this gun given to Yastrzemski by Gene Autry. There just aren't enough guns in baseball, that's what I always say.


Look! It's Jack Morris! It's like he's there. And real. Speaking of real, in order to go to the baseball hall of fame we had to miss Kirk Gibson signing autographs at the Gibraltar Trade Center. I felt bad. But not that bad. Sorry Joel and Amanda!!


They had a display on the stadiums, old and new. This made me a little sad. I miss the corner of Michigan and Trumbull!


Don't I look like a future hall of famer??


We got home late last night. I'm really tired today. Apparently sitting in the car for 20 hours in 2 days is exhausting. I'll write more about the trip another time!

on the road again...

If you call and I'm not home...it's because Jesse and I are heading to Cooperstown, NY for the night. Baseball Hall of Fame, here we come!! We'll be back home tomorrow night!

wake up

Every other day of the week it is torture to roll my ass out of bed before 7:30 in the morning. But on this day. That would be Saturday. The day that I can sleep all day if I feel like it. I woke up at 7. And couldn't go back to sleep. I suck!

Last night we had dinner at the Dakota Inn with friends. Comet bar was after but I didn't go because I was in migraine hell for most of the day yesterday. Have you ever been to the Comet bar? This sign is on the door. I love the Comet bar. If you're ever in town you should stop by. Friday night is karaoke night.

cat pee.

There is nothing more disgusting than the smell of cat pee. Yuck. Barbaro Garbey had a urinary tract infection and we had to shove pills down her throat every day. We found out she had a urinary tract infection because the little bastard climbed in a suitcase and peed. We have to take another pee sample in to the vet to make sure she doesn't still have an infection but she is not cooperating. To get the pee we lock her in a room with food and water and an empty litter box. The first two times it took 20 minutes for her to go pee in the empty box. Last night we waited for 4 hours and the night before we waited for 3 hours. She didn't pee. This morning I smell cat pee. I think I'm hallucinating. I took off my sweatshirt and smelled all over it and looked for pee stains. Nothing. I took off my t-shirt and didn't find anything. Looked all over my jeans and couldn't find anything. I have no idea where this smell is coming from and I am paranoid that I smell like the cat lady. I didn't smell it in the car or at home, just when I got to my office. There aren't any cats here! I just want to go home where there are cats but it doesn't smell like pee!!

the day erica saved my life.

The sun is shining today so I thought it would be a good one. That was until I took an unnecesary trip to Detroit for work. I took a woman that stays at the shelter to pick up a copy of her birth certificate only to find out they only have birth records after October 1978 and the woman was born in 1977. I was so pissed that I kicked the woman and screamed bad things at her for being born in 1977 and not after October 1978. I was just about to give up on it all when I returned to my office and received this glorious email from my dear, dear friend Erica...

new survivor

February 2! February 2! The new bios are out.
Jenny, I think your recent crappy moods have to do
with the gaping hole on Thursday nights. Soon
survivor will return and life will be glorious again.

Oh she is so right. I can breathe again! Thank you Erica, for making my day so much brighter!

vacation request

My day isn't so bad! Sure chicken little is being a big baby about the report I finished late. And okay so bitch face called me to say I screwed the report up only to find out that she can't add and I didn't screw the report up. But other than that, I put in two vacation requests. I'm taking time off around the Super Bowl so I don't have to fight traffic. And I requested a week in March for spring training. And this weekend will be a three-day weekend since we get Monday off for MLK, Jr.'s birthday holiday. I can do this. I think I can. I think I can.

spring training

Jesse and I started to plan our trip to Florida for Detroit Tigers spring training! I am so excited. It looks like we'll be catching 3 Tigers games! Is it March yet???

sunshine day

This afternoon I looked outside and the sun was shining so Jesse and I bundled up and headed to Belle Isle. It was really cold outside so we decided to stick to the Belle Isle Conservatory but it was still nice and sunshine-y! And warm!! Here are some photos...

executive decision.

My job is killing me. Slowly but surely. From the inside out. First they tried to give me some kind of black mold disease. And now they are going full-force after my self-esteem. Maybe if they make me feel shitty enough about myself I'll just go and they won't have to deal with me. That's what they are thinking. Yesterday I felt awful and alone and completely beat down...again. Today I feel awful and alone and feisty. A conversation I just had with chicken little went like this...

me: I don't think I can finish those two reports by the time that meeting starts at 3. I decided to stay here and finish the reports instead of go to the meeting.
chicken little: you better talk to bitch face (not really her name, but that's what I'm calling chicken little's boss today) about it.
me: well you are my supervisor so I figured I would talk to you about it. If you aren't comfortable with me missing the meeting than you just have to tell me and know that the reports probably won't get done on time.
cl: I mean, I don't care if you miss the meeting but bitch face might.

Oh she drives me coconuts! So because chicken little can't/won't stand up to bitch face for me, I have to do it myself?? I called bitch face and she wasn't in her office so I left a voicemail. Two minutes later chicken little called me to see if I talked to bitch face yet. It took all the strength I had to just say "no." instead of, "I HATE YOU YOU STUPID COW."

Anyway, guess I better get back to those reports.

Can you feel the negative vibes coming from this blog? That's right. I'm feeling shitty enough that I am sending my negativeness to you through the internet. It's amazing, isn't it?

Okay so I need to be more positive because this feeling shitty and depressed is getting me NOWHERE. No. Where. Nope. I've been trying new things to feel positive. For example, I've been adding exclamation points to sentences in my emails in hopes of sounding excited and happy! It just makes me look like a moron that needs to go back to school to learn to use correct punctuation. Another example is with coworkers. I have decided to take the stance that it's not that serious. So when they try to make me do things I think are stupid, I explain my viewpoint and then go along with whatever it is that I think is stupid. We'll see how this works out. But the person trying to make me do it thinks I am being positive and a team player. Now who is the moron? Oh. Me. Damn.

Last night I had a dream that I had to go to a meeting at the Salvation Army with my dad. Sounds strange but it really isn't. Back in the day, my dad and I both worked for agencies that served the homeless population in the same city and ended up at a lot of meetings together. The strange part was that I asked him if we could take the hot tub because I really needed to relax during the meeting. He said sure and started to unhook the hot tub that is in their back yard. When he got it unhooked, the truck came to get the hot tub and I realized it was 6:55 p.m. and the meeting started at 7 p.m. so there wouldn't be any time to take the hot tub. My dad just shrugged and said "oh well." and we left for the meeting. I haven't sat in their hot tub in years. We got one when I was in 8th grade. Maybe it was 9th grade. Anyway, it was a fun thing to have for the first few years. The school district probably didn't appreciate me returning my books at the end of the year all wrinkled because I did homework in the hot tub (I didn't actually submerge the books in the water or anything) but they never said anything. I think the last time I actually sat in the hot tub was 5 years ago. Maybe the dream was telling me that a nice way to relax and chill out would be to get a hot tub. Or at least sit in one.

usps hates me.

A while back I won an Ebay auction for a Pampered Chef Cookie Press. I kind of forgot about it but then realized that it should have been delivered while I was in Maine. When I got home it hadn't arrived and there weren't any notices from the post office that they tried to deliver it. I looked online and it said that two notices were delivered and that they would send it back if they didn't hear from me. And it said the notices were delivered on December 19 and December 25. I was still home on the 19th and didn't get a notice. And I know they didn't deliver a notice on Christmas. What a bunch of liars. I called the post office, explained what happened and asked if they could tell me if they still had the package or if they sent it back. I offered to give them the tracking number, thinking that would be helpful. Nope, she wanted my name. I told her and she put me on hold. When she came back she said they do have the package but I need the notice to pick it up. I reminded her that I don't have a notice. She said I could probably pick it up but I better bring I.D. Gee. Thanks. I asked if they could hold it until tomorrow morning and she said I better get there as soon as I can so they don't send it back. Whatever. Sounds like a good reason to leave work early!

i'm here.

Back to work today. I'm already hating everyone I work with. And one of the women staying at the shelter must have been watching out her little window for me to get here because I swear to God, my butt hadn't hit my chair at my desk before my phone rang and it was her calling to say, "Hi. What are you doing?" It took every last bit of strength I had to not say, "I'M TRYING TO SIT DOWN! STOP CALLING ME AND ASKING ME WHAT I'M DOING!" So now I've used all of my strength for the day so how am I supposed to get work done? Shit.

happy new year

It doesn't feel like it's a special day. I slept until noon because we didn't get home from Ann Arbor until 4:30 this morning. We had a blast last night. Julie is back in town for a while! We miss her and it was so nice to hang out and laugh and just have fun. We exchanged gifts and went to the 8 Ball and then to Old Town and then back to Joel's and Amanda's for pizza and champagne. I was the designated driver and actually stayed sober for once. Yay for me!!

I'll post some photos because I took a ton. I don't like to post photos of people without their permission so I will only show you the ones without identifiable people. Oh, and me because I don't give a shit.

This first photo is of me with my Christmas gift from Joel and Amanda. I was so excited because I have tried to get one of these on ebay and shopgoodwill.com at least 6 times but get outbid every time! Dolly's boobies are boobylicious! Check out that pearl necklace I'm wearing. It's hot, no?


Jesse and I bought this fine box of tampons for Julie for Christmas. We found them at this lovely store that was like a dollar store, but more expensive. And then there was the Infant of Prague statue thing that I bought for Amanda. And then I just liked the Miller High Life glass.


I bought shotgun shell lights for Joel. While we waited for the others to return home from the bar we decorated the mannequin. Isn't she lovely?


Zach was a little silly and somehow Kristin's debit card got placed in the pitcher of beer. And I'm not sure what her driver's license is doing there. OH! I remember. She was using it to try to dig the debit card out. I think she ended up drinking the pitcher or something. I hope you can't see any identifying info in this photo.


Happy New Year!