dream.

I was taking a social work class that was held in the basement of the church I grew up attending. Ernie Harwell was the teacher. I was having a hard time paying attention because I was just so amazed that Ernie Harwell was my professor. He asked for volunteers to read a play and my hand shot up in the air and I bounced up and down in my seat and whispered "pick me pick me pick me" like that annoying ass-kisser in 1st grade that wants to answer every single question the teacher asks. Mr. Harwell picked me and several other students. I had the first line in the play but every time I tried to read it I realized that my A.D.D. went into super-overdrive and the words wouldn't stay still on the page. I couldn't read. I tried several times to read the passage aloud but I kept skipping words and lines on the page. Mr. Harwell thanked me and asked me to sit down. I was mortified. I took a break in the class to take some stuff out to my car. As I was walking up the stairs, Mr. Harwell passed me. He walked to his car and started packing his trunk with his suitcases and books. I wondered who was reading the play. I went back into the classroom and Sparky Anderson was teaching. He had placed a brand new pair of sneakers in front of everyone. They were all different styles and sizes but each one had his autograph. When he was done speaking, the plan was for us to choose a pair of shoes. I was debating whether I should try to get a pair of shoes that looked cool that might not fit, or get a pair that fit but might not look cool. I decided that I should get cool shoes even if they didn't fit because I wouldn't be wearing them around anyway. Then Mr. Anderson thanked his assistants for taking the time to autograph the shoes for him.

Merry Christmas!

I must have been a good girl this year...

That's right, it's an Xbox360! I just played Gears of War for 5 minutes and am so motion sick I'm about to puke. I am so excited!!

family christmas

PacMan is back.

I love Christmas. Love. It.

My family was always waaaay into Christmas. I believed in Santa Claus until I was a senior in high school. I'll never forget the evening when my parents told me that Santa wasn't real. For some reason we were in their bedroom sitting on their bed and when they told me I cried. Okay maybe I wasn't a senior in high school the first time they told me. Or the second. I was a firm believer in Santa Claus and it was hard for me to face up to the truth. And maybe they didn't have to tell me a second time. But I really did cry when they told me. And when we (my sibs and I) were all in college (I'm the youngest in the family) my mom decided to stop writing "from Santa" on the gift tags and it was like she stabbed us in the hearts with her Grinch sword. I could barely open my presents that year. Yes, I knew they were from "mom & dad" but I so wanted them to be from Santa. The next year our gifts were from Santa again.

Since I've been sharing holiday memories I thought I'd share some Christmas memories.

Every year we would all get presents and then we'd get one "big" family gift. One year all we wanted was an Atari. We dropped hints. We wrote it on our lists for Santa. We begged. We pleaded. We probably made deals with God and Santa. At the end of our marathon gift opening session on Christmas morning there was no Atari. Since we were all polite children we thanked our parents for our wonderful gifts with big fat Atari tears in our eyes. We would have felt bad letting our true disappointment show. Our dad worked hard to give us what we had. Perhaps he didn't work as hard as he could have and couldn't afford the Atari? Perhaps he just wanted us to know what disappointment was? The next part I remember as if it was in slow motion. My dad reached behind the brown plaid couch (super ugly but oh so comfy) and said, "Oh! What's this? There's one more back here!" and pulled out a big box. My brothers, sister and I looked at each other while our eyes grew wide. Could it be? Did dad get that Christmas bonus? We tore the wrapping paper off and there was our Atari. Oh the PacMan and Space Invaders and sore wrists from the non-ergonomically correct controllers. *sigh* The best part is that I always remember my dad playing video games with us. Sure he sucked but it was fun to play the games with him. A couple years ago my brother got him the PacMan game that you can plug right into the tv. He played it forever. I'd call my parents and my mom would answer. "Where's dad?" I'd ask. She'd say, "Well of course he's playing PacMan." and then I'd hear him yell "GOL DARNIT!" in the background and I knew he'd just lost. He played so much he broke it and went out and bought another one. Now PacMan has been put away because he has found ShotOnline, an online golf game.

Another fun memory was the year my grandparents were separated. Now I know that doesn't sound fun but it was really cool when my grandpa showed up at our house at 5 on Christmas MORNING and pounded on my parents' window to wake them up. We didn't think we'd see him that Christmas and it was so fun to have him there when we got out of bed. He was the fun grandpa that would tell us jokes like this: How do you catch a fish with chewing tobacco and a baseball bat? You sprinkle the chewing tobacco around your boat. The fish eat it and when they come up to spit, you hit them on the head with the baseball bat.

This is Jesse and my first Christmas as a married couple. We're staying at my sister's house on Christmas eve so we'll get to see her kids open their presents from Santa. I am so glad they invited us to join them. I also hope that someday Jesse and I will have Christmas traditions of our own. He says if we have a kid he doesn't want to tell them there is a Santa Claus. That's cool as long as he doesn't mind that I'll be pulling said kid aside and telling them that daddy is looneytunes and is off his meds and that of course Santa is real.

I have also been thinking a lot about Jesse's cousin (I guess she's my cousin-in-law), Karen, whose boyfriend was killed in a car accident a couple weeks before Thanksgiving. I don't know what holiday traditions they had but I do know that whatever they were, Karen will be going through them without him. He was only 24 years old. They were supposed to close on land to build a home together the week after he was killed. I've been thinking about them a lot because I knew him. They came to our wedding. We spent last Christmas with them. I can't even imagine what she is going through. I'll definitely be thinking of her and their families.

This is also the first Christmas in a while that I'm not working with homeless families. My coworker and I always worked hard every holiday season to make sure each family had gifts to give. The agency I worked at had an "adopt-a-family" program where people in the community would sign up to buy gifts for a family. Even though it was a lot of work for us, we really enjoyed making sure every child at the shelter had a few gifts to open. We also made sure everyone had enough food for a giant holiday meal. It was just nice that the adults could have one day when they could have fun and not worry about housing, employment, or feeding the kids. We always came back after the new year ready to worry about that stuff.

I don't know what your holiday traditions are, but whatever they are, I hope you have a wonderful and peaceful time!

I apologize for the marathon post but I figure I haven't been posting much lately so this makes up for it. Or I'm just bored.

procrastination

It never ceases to amaze me all the things I can find to do while "getting ready" to go for a run on the treadmill. This morning I got up at 9 and have been "getting ready" since then. And now I'm watching some stupid crime show on A&E and considering staying here to finish it since we don't have cable in the treadmill room. No no no. I need to get this over with so I can "get ready" to go shopping at the mall and finish the Christmas shopping fun, yet another activity I just love to pieces.

In other news, I made beef stew for dinner last night. Jesse liked it because he is a carnivore. I didn't like it that much even though I'm a carnivore.

Okay okay. No reason to make you suffer for my mad procrastination skills anymore.

neglect.

Ah it's been a while since I've posted anything. Don't worry, I haven't just been neglecting this, I've pretty much been neglecting everything. My house is a mess. My period even neglected to come on time which was a fun day of thinking I was pregnant and figuring out what the hell we were going to do all for nothing thank GOD. Yesterday I neglected to eat lunch.

I have my last final tomorrow morning. I'm not prepared. But hopefully I will be able to get some good studying in tonight and will be okay.

This afternoon I had my evaluation for my field placement. What a joke! My supervisor is hardly ever around so when I'm at the office I usually do homework, read shit online and play games online. Yeah, I've learned a lot. She clearly doesn't have a clue because on my evaluation form she marked "exceeds expectations" on every box. I don't think she even read the form.

Time to study...

get a room.

Last week and this week my Wednesday morning class met in the computer lab. We were doing these projects on this stupid statistics program. After our professor did her little presentation thing we reviewed for our final exam next week. I'm not sure why we even met in the computer lab today because pretty much everyone brought their assignments and turned them in at the beginning of class. While we were going over stuff for the exam a woman sitting at a computer across the aisle from me (the monitor was facing me, away from the professor) was chatting away on IM and checking out MySpace pages. All of a sudden I heard her gasp so I looked over. She was looking at Britney Spears' kootch on the internet. The uncensored version. And then she and the people sitting next to her giggled. I kind of laughed because well, it was Britney Spears' kootch in research methods class. But then I looked over a few minutes later and she was still looking at the photo.

And she looked at it for a few more minutes.

And I wasn't laughing anymore.

i *heart* meter maids!

Woke up this morning to reports of a prisoner that escaped from Detroit Receiving Hospital. He also managed to take off with the police officer's gun. They were looking for him around Wayne State University and the last place they had seen him was on Canfield and Third, which is about 3 blocks from where I park my car.

Pulled up to my usual parking street and realized that I won't be parking there anymore because they started to put up parking meters. I don't like to pay for parking. But since the meters weren't installed yet and just the poles, I parked there anyway.

After class I hung out with a couple people. Walked back to my car, watching for fugitives to the left, right, and front of me, and noticed the meters had been installed while I was gone. And I had a fucking parking ticket. Granted, if there had been a meter when I left, it would have been a 2 hour meter and would have expired had I put quarters in it. But there wasn't a meter there when I left so there was no way I could have put quarters in it to let it expire. I wouldn't have parked there if the meters had actually been there. And I probably shouldn't have parked there because even though the meter wasn't there, the pole for the meter was there. But I really didn't think I could get a parking ticket for not plugging a meter that wasn't even there.

And they still haven't caught the escaped prisoner. Perhaps the meter maids should be on the lookout for escaped prisoners as opposed to writing parking tickets for cars parked where there wasn't a meter in the first place. I'm going to tell them that when I call them...

i see.

On cloudy days...

I'm not sure why I look so happy about a cloudy day. And I'm not sure what is going on with my lower lip. Or my upper lip.

And on sunny days!!


Damn. I have a fat face.

more Christmas cheer.

"Baby, what did you get me for Christmas?"

"I'm not tellin'. But your mom knows."

"Wha? Huh? When did you tell her?"

"Uh, we spent a couple days with them last week."

"I know but when did you tell her?"

"I don't know, sometime when you weren't around. I said, 'pssst... Bev...' and I told her what I'm getting you for Christmas and she said, 'Okay, well I'll check with Don.'"

"Wha? Huh? Why did she say that?"

"I'm not telling you."

"I'm calling my mom."

"That's fine, call her. She won't tell you anything. At least she won't if she knows what's good for her."

"Did you just threaten my mommy?"

"I hope it won't come to that."

just one of those days.

This morning as I lying in bed trying to wake up I listened to the rain slamming against the bedroom window. Yuck. It was still dark and that made it even worse.

When I left for class it wasn't raining that hard so I decided to leave my umbrella at home. My jacket is waterproof and I figured I'd be fine since it's only 3 blocks from the street I park on to the big building with the classrooms. I had my umbrella in my hand and actually set it back down. Half way to class it was raining so hard I could hardly see, even with the million layers of RainX on the windshield. Yeah. I got wet walking to class.

Last night I told Jesse I need to make an eye appointment soon because I would be putting the last pair of contacts into my eyes this morning. This morning I put the last pair of contacts in my eyes. As I was sitting in class my left eye started bugging me. I rearranged my contact a little bit and it helped for a minute. I figured I had an eyelash or something in my eye. After class I went to Meijer to get some groceries. As I was driving down the freeway in the pouring rain I realized that my left eye was all messed up and I really couldn't see very well. All of a sudden it dawned on me that my brand new last contact probably had a rip in it. After shopping at Meijer I sat in the car and took my brand new last contact out of my left eye and sure enough, right in the middle there was a tear. I put it back in because without something to correct some sort of vision I wouldn't have been able to see to get home. And of course since my vision was all messed up, I started to get sick to my stomach.

Now I'm home. I am wearing my glasses that are probably 3 or 4 prescriptions old and am trying to deal with the fact that tonight I'm going to have to go to one of those one-hour places to get contacts. Yuck. I would like to think I've learned my lesson and will not wait until I only have one pair of contacts left to even make a phone call to an eye doctor. But I'm sure it will happen again. Hopefully next time I'll have a good pair of glasses to fall back on.

Time to make lunch and since I can't see very well, maybe I'll take a nap. Rainy days are good for that.

holiday weekend

Did everyone have a nice Thanksgiving? It's been a busy weekend for us but lots of fun. Thursday we hung out with a bzillion of my family members (well, maybe not a bzillion, but there were about 40 of us there!) at Uncle Larry's and Aunt Nancy's house.

My favoritecousincori brought her friend, Andrea, to have Thanksgiving with us. About a week before Thanksgiving, aunt Nancy sent an email out to Cori, Cori's siblings, and Andrea. The email was about a 5K race on Thanksgiving morning to raise money for Grand Rapids Public Schools. When Andrea received the email, she assumed it was a family tradition and registered for the race right away. She is such a trooper because when she realized on Thanksgiving morning that she was the only one who registered for the race, she ran it anyway. And she wrote an amazing poem about our family. And before dinner, she read her amazing poem in front of everyone. It was several pages long and because she had requested a copy of the family tree, just about everyone was mentioned in the poem. Even Rose, my dead great uncle's girlfriend, got a shout out.

So we ate lots, drank even more, and just had fun.

Friday night was Comet Bar action. Always a good time but I'm a little concerned because it is being taken over by the young folk which means Sarge and Gayle don't get to sing much. Actually, I haven't even seen Sarge in a long time. Hope he's okay.

Yesterday we went shopping for bridesmaids dresses and actually found some! Yay! Joel's and Amanda's wedding is going to be so much fun.

Today I pulled out the dead tomato plants and lots of nasty rotted tomatoes in the "garden." Since I gave up on my "garden" in the middle of the summer, there was lots of grossness to clean up. And now there are snails and slugs. Gross. Hopefully they'll all die when it gets cold soon. Or do they just hibernate? Guess I need to do some research. Next summer I'll only grow a couple plants that I can keep up with. 10 tomato plants and 2 jalapeno plants and 2 green pepper plants were way too many for someone that just doesn't like to get dirty.

I can't believe Christmas isn't very far away. And my first official semester of grad school will be done soon.

Yay!

surprise!

Yesterday I decided to do a little online Christmas shopping for my husband. I found the perfect gift and was excited when the FedEx website said it would be delivered on Monday. Awesome because he will be at work and I usually get home before him and could snatch it up and pretend it was never on our little front porch. This afternoon I was laying in bed watching TV when I heard the doorbell. I couldn't answer the door because I had just taken a shower and was naked. I heard Jesse answer the door and in the back of my mind I thought, "hm. Hope that isn't the FedEx guy." and then I heard Jesse come up the stairs. He came in the room holding a little brown package and said, "What's this?" I oh so slyly grabbed it from his hands and said, "None of your damn business!" and pushed him out of the room. Normally I would be happy that a package I order online arrives the next day. In this case, not so happy. Luckily the package didn't give anything away to ruin the Christmas surprise.

thankful.

me: Are you sad you aren't with your family today?

him: No, I am with my family.

irony.

This morning in class we talked about how social workers teach their clients how to cope with stressful situations and crisis.

This afternoon I talked to my friend who has a mental illness and is in a psychiatric hospital and who I thought was doing really well but was only doing well because she had decided to kill herself but then decided not to because if she killed herself the world would go to war and then end.

How did I cope with this crisis?

I drank a bottle of wine.

Welcome to my first drunk post. Oh shit. Jesse is home.

yes, just ask.

I'm finally really understanding why everyone must have a camera cell phone.

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas.

Last night Jesse and I went downtown to see the lighting of the giant Christmas tree. Unfortunately it was very cold and we are very pussies and left before the tree was actually lit. It was really crowded, which is always nice to see in downtown Detroit. At one point we were just walking around and I looked up and Senator Carl Levin and a woman, I assume it was Mrs. Senator Carl Levin, were standing there. I said, "Look! It's Carl Levin!! I'd recognize that combover anywhere!!" A couple people were talking to them then the Senator and his wife (I didn't see a pearl necklace but I'm sure she had one under her winter coat) started walking away. I said to Jesse, "Let's stalk them!!" so we followed them. I think they are mall walkers because they walked very quickly. I was amazed that nobody else was following them. I had hoped to catch up to them to say something. Anything. But when we caught up to them I was very pussy and didn't say anything. And then the security dudes let them into a fenced in area that clearly wasn't for pussies like me.

When I was little my family went on a big road trip vacation every summer. One year we went to Washington, D.C. My parents arranged for us to go to Levin's office to meet with an aide and get a tour and all that good stuff. I don't remember anything but being incredibly bored and thinking he had the most retarded hair I had ever seen. Which is funny because I'm pretty sure my dad had a combover too. But I don't think my dad's combover was as um, pronounced, as Carl's.

So anyway, last night we came home and watched the tree lighting on TV. I think it would have been more exciting if we had been there.

duh.

Jesse and Jon were working on electrical stuff in the house last weekend and had turned off the power in the kitchen for a while. The clock on the oven has been wrong since then and today I decided to fix it. I did something wrong and got this message. I had no idea what '5A66ATH' meant and was freaking out because I figured I broke it.



Yeah. I'm a retard. I had accidentally set the 'sabbath' mode.

Whew.

long week.

Getting old sucks. This week I've been feeling like shit. Pukey. Shitty. Tired. I'm not sick. Just feeling gross. It doesn't help that yesterday I decided to not smoke any cigarettes. And then since I actually didn't smoke any cigarettes yesterday I decided to continue the trend today. And it just sucks. The A.D.D. makes me feel prickly a lot of the time. Not having any nicotine makes me prickly and want to kill someone. Like the guy in my class who says things like, "If I'm the only white guy that works in a company with all Japanese people and they racially discriminate against me can I call the NAACP or are they just going to racially discriminate against me too?"

Tomorrow is Friday. I don't have to go to stupid internship or stupid class. Hopefully I'll sit around at home and not smoke and get some reading for school done.

How many more days until baseball??

Veteran's Day

I believe I promised a Veteran's Day story. I have a feeling I'm about to lose the two readers I have because my story sucks. But here goes...

My dad worked for the State of MI for a long time. State employees get all the federal holidays off of work. He and my mom always used that day to go Christmas shopping. So I would sit in school all day with a big ass grin on my face dreaming of all the gifts they were buying for me. I am pretty sure I was the only kid excited about Veteran's Day for all the wrong reasons. Reason.

Apologies for the big buildup and letdown. What big holiday is next... Thanksgiving. I don't have any stories for that. None. Zero. Zip.

I'm getting A's in both of my classes right now.

I'm going to church in Kalamazoo tomorrow. It starts at 9:45 in the AM. Right now it is 11:15 in the PM and I am in Detroit.

On Wednesday I had to go to Ann Arbor to pick up my prescription for my schedule II drug and I stopped at the grocery store that sells my favorite bloody mary mix. They don't sell it anymore. Oh the horror. I looked at buying a case of it online but decided to wait. Today I was at Meijer in Roseville and found they now sell my second favorite bloody mary mix. Rejoice! I bought three bottles of it which was a good idea since after lunch there are only two bottles left. I shared with Jesse and my brother-in-law, Jon.

Thursday afternoon I witnessed a white man who looked to be in his late 30's or early 40's tapdancing in the office supply aisle at Costco. And then on my way home I had a migraine and had to pull my car over in the WalMart parking lot to puke. Take that, Walmart!!

Also on Thursday afternoon, the Comcast man stopped by to deliver the DVR we ordered. Because I had a migraine I had taken my "medicine" and I think he knew I was out of it. So embarrassing but whatever, he was probably jealous. I didn't share with him.

Good night.

election day.

I've started a really lame photo of the day project. Since I got a digital camera I take all these stupid photos and most people don't get to see them. So now I share them with you. It's your lucky day! Unless you are Dick DeVos. I think it is your very unlucky day. Sucka!!

I got to vote this afternoon. It was really rainy all day so I am a little worried that my fellow Detroiters stayed home. The lack of transportation in this city is a huge problem and if I didn't have a car or live a block away from my polling place, it would have been really hard for me to make it a priority.

Veterans Day is coming up. Don't worry, I have lots of good Veterans Day stories to tell. But I'll save them for Saturday.

happy halloween, pt. ii

Last night I couldn't fall asleep. I was exhausted but just couldn't relax enough to close my eyes and drift off. Instead I wrote about Halloween. In my sleepy state I completely forgot to mention the kick ass party that Jesse and I attended on Saturday night. CousinAdam and CousinChrissy planned this party for a looooong time. Jesse and I couldn't commit to going because we were hoping to be at World Series game 6. Obviously that did not happen. I was really tired on Saturday and wasn't sure I wanted to drive all the way to Lansing to get really drunk and then have to figure out a way to get home. We couldn't stay at my parents' house because they had a bunch of church camp kids staying at their house. They didn't have anymore room and it just would have been strange to show up all drunk and run into kids that were at church camp with me last summer. Ha! I looked online for a hotel room but couldn't find a decent room for a decent price. We finally decided to just suck it up and go to the party. We knew we'd have fun and would just figure out the rest later. Since we weren't planning on going, we didn't have costumes. We ran to the St. Vincent DePaul store because I thought it would be funny to wear a wedding dress. They were charging $50 for their dresses. Yeah. I don't think so. So as we were walking out the door to go to the party, I grabbed my pearl necklace and pearl earrings. That's right, I went as a senator's wife. Jesse grabbed a pirate eye patch and we were on our way.

CousinAdam and CousinChrissy bought a house in Lansing this summer and Saturday was the first time we visited. It is a kick ass house! I can't believe little CousinAdam and his wife own a house! Isn't Adam still little enough to hide in the pull-out couch in my parents' basement? That's a story for another day, I think.

Since nobody was expecting us to be there, they were all excited to see us. There is nothing like people screaming, "COUSINJENNY! COUSINJESSE!!" at you when you walk in the room. I don't think anyone really appreciated my senator's wife costume. But maybe if they knew me better they would realize that I am so not a pearl kind of girl. Is that dirty? Anyway, the other costumes were fabulous. CousinSethy and CousinGirlErin were the Spartan cheerleaders. Not MSU cheerleaders, THE Spartan cheerleaders. They even did the cheers! CousinAdam was an evil giant white bunny. CousinChrissy was a very funny Sonny Bono. Two of their friends grew mustaches just for their halloween costumes. One guy was Magnum, P.I. and the other guy was Captain Morgan. The best part about the guy that was Captain Morgan was that he totally looked like Ron Jeremy in a pirate costume. NotCousinTodd was Dick DeVos. He said he had to borrow a jacket and tie from a Republican for his costume.

One of the highlights of the evening was when we decided to go to Las Vegas on Sunday morning. NotCousinTodd agreed to pay for all 8 of us to go for the day. Unfortunately we were unable to get a flight out at a reasonable time. Oh, and NotCousinTodd was super drunk and I think we probably wouldn't have really let him pay for us to all go. Probably. Maybe.

happy halloween

A really old couple lived down the street from my house when I was growing up. They were really really old. My dad used to make us trick-or-treat at their house even though we didn't want to. I guess the old man got a kick out of it. We didn't get a kick out of the fact that he smoked cigars and would give us Little Debbie snacks that smelled so strongly of cigar smoke that the rest of our candy smelled like it. It got to the point where we would go to their house first, run home and throw the shit away, and then go to the rest of the houses. I don't remember if that was before or after the old woman started going all senile. We used to come home from school and she'd be walking down the street in her bathrobe. If we said "hello" she'd yell, "MIND YOUR OWN!!" at us. We'd go home and tell our mom that she was out again. My mom would get in the car and drive up to her. The old woman would say, "Mind your own. I'm walking my dog around the block." Of course "the block" in our neighborhood was about a 5 mile trip and their dog had died a million years earlier. My mom would offer to take she and her dog for a ride in the car and amazingly enough the old woman would get in. My mom would drive around the block and take 'them' home.

In other halloween memories, when we were done trick-or-treating my dad would spread our candy out on the kitchen table and check it for razor blades and stuff. Apparently there was no snopes.com to dispel urban myths back then. The best part about the ritual was that he would pretend like he loved all of the non-candy items we got and would take them off our hands. I don't think he pretended to love the cigar Little Debbie snackcakes though. But every year some asshole always handed out pennies or homemade popcorn balls or apples or some other stupid shit that we wanted no part of. Perhaps we were the ungrateful assholes? Oh well. We were kids. To us, halloween was about free candy, not pennies and health food.

The last time I went trick-or-treating I was with my sister's family. It was a really really cold night and my brother-in-law hooked me up with a 1/2 pint of HotDamn to keep me warm. Trick-or-treating hadn't been such fun since high school when I probably had a fifth of vodka to keep me warm. I wonder if someday my niece and/or nephew will tell stories about their Aunt JenJen getting drunk while trick-or-treating with them.

The kids tonight were lots of fun. Trick-or-treating in the city is different than trick-or-treating in the suburb. In the city there are lots of kids that can't afford costumes. It's not that they can't afford to spend money on storebought costumes and are too lazy to make one up from stuff they have at home. They don't have stuff to make costumes at home either. The kids tonight were super polite and just seemed to be having a blast. Jesse and I took turns handing out candy and I think we had a blast, too.

wha' happened??

The World Series is over. And I'm not celebrating. It wasn't supposed to end like this. The Tigers that played in the ALDS and the ALCS were supposed to show up to play the WS. Instead, a team that wouldn't be able to compete in a Triple-A Championship game showed up. They played like we expected them to play all season, not like they are clearly capable of playing. And definitely not like a team that deserved to be at the freaking World Series. I'm not sure what happened to them. They played a lot of games. The weather has been awful. Not a lot of players had post season experience. But really, I expected them to get their shit together and play ball for a couple more games. I know they tried their best and none of them gave up. But damn. What a way to end the season. The Cards played well but not that well! They didn't have to play that well to beat the Tigers. I'm so sad today. I feel like someone just died. All I can think about is the losses and I'm trying so hard to focus on the happy moments. A little dramatic for just a game, eh?

Is it time to start planning spring training trip yet?

Good afternoon Chief Justice, and may it please the court...

Jesse took the LSAT in late September. He recently received his score and he, of course, did very well. We were at the mall when he got his score. They email the scores and we were at the Apple store (computers, not produce) checking out macbooks and he checked his email from there. We were so excited and I'm so proud of him!

We went to Macy's so I could try on kick ass boots. I finally found some that would fit around my unusually large calves and I wanted to buy them but was a little worried about the price tag.
Jen: I don't know. They're kind of expensive.
Jesse: Baby it's all good because I'm a lawyer now.
Jen: Really? Because I thought you had to law school to be a lawyer. Huh.
Jesse: Call me "Your Honor." I just got a promotion.
Jen: Okay, Chief Justice, and may it please the court.

Is this what it is going to be like to be married to a lawyer?

And why do they say, "and may it please the court"? What does that mean??

Jesse emailed my (our) cousinCori, who is a public defender in Washington, DC. She emailed a good friend of hers who is the Associate Dean of Admissions at a top law school here in Michigan. Then Jesse got an email from the Associate Dean of Admissions at a top law school here in Michigan inviting him to apply to the school and she would waive his application fee. They seem to think that we indeed can afford for him to quit his job and go to law school full time at the same time I am in school full time.

Does that mean I won't be getting anymore kick ass boots?

Apparently it's all about me.

i'm baaaack!

I didn't really go anywhere. Just wasn't here. Last week was pretty busy because I had a midterm on Wednesday to study for, a paper due on Thursday and a wedding reception on Sunday. And of course, on Saturday there was the first game of the World Series to attend.

Hopefully I'll get my midterm score tomorrow when I go to class. The teacher isn't very useful so I had decided to study from the book. It was a good plan because a lot of people didn't do that and bitched a lot about how hard the test was. I know a couple people in the class who don't even own the book. This is grad school, people. Read the damn book.

The paper I turned in was pretty good. I think. The assignment was pretty vague and not that difficult. At least I didn't think it was very difficult. I'm a little worried that I'll get it back and find out that it was difficult and I just chose to ignore that part.

World Series game 1 was amazing, even though the Cardinals outplayed the Tigs. Their pitcher, Reyes, had to have pitched the game of his life. I don't know if that is true because I have never seen him pitch before. All I know is that he is a rookie and he pretty much shut the Tigs down. The Yankees pitchers couldn't even shut us down. Like I said, even though the game sucked, being there was like a dream come true. We hung out with cousinAdam and cousinSeth before the game. CousinAdam had seats in the lower level behind the Tigers dugout. Lucky! And cousinSeth was a couple sections down from us. The excitement before the game was almost too much to take. And then Jesse ate 3 kielbasa's and I almost died.

Anyway, here's a photo of the field while Bob Seger was singing America the Beautiful.

That's one big flag, eh? Nobody sang the National Anthem which kind of surprised me. These two fighter jet thingies did a flyover. I wasn't surprised because I had heard them practicing earlier in the day. Apparently they had never done it before because they practiced 3 or 4 times. Each time I hid under the table because I was sure I was about to die. We don't live far from Comerica and those silly planes were flying really low. And no, I didn't really think the dining room table would save my life. As a matter of fact, I lied. I didn't hide under the table. It was just to try to make you understand how loud and creepy the fighter jet thingies were. Geez.

Our wedding reception was lots of fun. Lots of people came which was good and bad. I didn't get to talk to people as much as I wanted to. That was the bad part. The good part was that it looked like we have lots of friends. I wanted to look good for the party so I went and spent a buttload of money on boots and a dress. I looked hot. But then I covered it up with my Tigers jersey. Loyalty to the team is much more important than looking hot at my wedding reception. Right?

So here we are looking like Tigers fans that dressed completely inappropriately for game 2. Aha! We didn't go to game 2. We sold our tickets to Joel and Amanda. They are very lucky people to have good friends like Jesse and I that will sell them World Series tickets at cost. Well, not that lucky because they ended up paying us $20 extra. But the people who sit in front of us at the games sold their game 2 tickets for $800 A PIECE. And I bet if they tried harder they could have sold them for even more. Why do we always learn these lessons the stupid way?

Let's see, in other news I went to my internship today. You might not think this is big news but I think it is really big news. I was supposed to start this internship the second week of September. Today was the first day I went and spent any amount of time at the agency. I've been working with the university to get my internship changed to another agency. I think they must have contacted my supervisor and told her to get her shit together or I'm outta there and she wouldn't get anymore free labor. Doesn't matter to me as long as I have a freaking internship! My first assignment today was to ride with her to pick up her lunch. She parked in a tow-away zone to run inside the Ren Cen to get her food. About 2 seconds after she left the valet lady came and told me I had to move the truck. Right now. So I switched seats and drove around the block a couple times. Fortunately for my supervisor I can drive a stick shift. The day did get better and I'm actually working on something. We'll see how long this lasts.

bless you boys.

In a strange twist of fate, Jesse and I ended up being at the ALCS game 4 with cousinSethy and his mom. Not only were we all at the game, they were in our section. We were able to talk the two guys sitting in front of Jesse and I into switching seats with cousinSethy and mamaBurger so they got to sit with us. Amazing how that all works out.

Yesterday I wrote the most amazing blog about this game. But then it disappeared. Damn you blogger!! So I'll try to recreate some of the amazingness but I'm sure I will disappoint you all.

Here is a photo of the field before the game started.

The Mosaic Youth Theatre of Detroit sang the National Anthem and it was absolutely beautiful. I do not especially enjoy our National Anthem but when they sang it, it brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't believe they were kids!

I don't know who came up with the "Who's Your Tiger?" marketing idea but they are an absolute genius. Before the game Jesse and I both chose Magglio Ordonez to be our Tiger. Apparently Jesse and I are also absolute geniuses.

But more on that in a second.

The game was fun to watch. Jesse and I sat next to a dude who used to play for the Toledo Mudhens (the Tigers Triple-A team) and he had also played for the Lansing Lugnuts. He was really nice and friendly and hot. He and his wife hadn't been able to get tickets next to each other so she was sitting somewhere else in our section. Eventually she came and joined us since we were way more fun than whoever she was sitting next to.

As for the actual baseball, the Detroit pitching wasn't as lights-out as it has been in the previous post season games. Bonderman did just fine but we were really concerned when Grilli came in and threw 13 balls in a row to load the bases with walks. Luckily Wilfredo Ledezma came in to save the day. Oakland had to bring in their closer, Huston Street, in the 7th inning. We felt like it was the right move for Macha to make since this game had such high stakes. However, by the bottom of the 9th, it was clear Street stayed in too long. Craig Monroe and Placido Polanco managed to get on base. With 2 outs, Magglio Ordonez came up to the plate. When he hit the ball it felt like it was moving in slow motion. The crowd was silent as I watched the ball sail out of left field for the second time that night. I'm not sure if it was really silent or if I just couldn't hear anything. Then I went crazy. The guy sitting in front of us turned to hug me and accidentally (?) groped my boobies (although with all the layers I was wearing he didn't get much of a feel) and I didn't care. I hugged him. I hugged his wife. I hugged my husband. I hugged cousinSethy and mamaBurger. I high-fived hands that were coming from everywhere. I fought back tears but when I saw the tears in cousinSethy's and mamaBurger's eyes I didn't care to fight them back anymore. We screamed we jumped up and down. We believed.


Who's your tiger? Magglio was my Tiger. I had never seen a walk-off homerun live before. Earlier in the season I had tickets to a game where Carlos Guillen had hit one. I didn't go to that game because I was sick. I wasn't sick on Saturday night.

Here is the field during the presentation of the American League Championship trophy and the MVP award to Placido Polanco. Speaking of Placido, have you ever seen such sheer joy in a player as he ran around those bases? Watching highlights of him running and jumping and cheering while wearing that stupid headwarmer thing brings tears to my eyes almost every time.


After the game we walked around downtown for a little while just celebrating and high-fiveing everyone in sight. It was a peaceful celebration with everyone focusing on this amazing team.

Seth called Sunday afternoon and all he said was, "we were there."

Yes, we were.

i know a good deal when i see one.

Actually, thanks to Erica who saw this good deal first and pointed it out to me. I never thought I needed a camera phone but was glad I had one on this shopping trip!

jackass.

peter griffin moment.

You know what really grinds my gears?

Lou Piniella's voice. Will he be around for all of the games? Lordy, I hope he doesn't come to Detroit!

smell the roses.

This week has been kind of crappy because I was sick. Last week I had a nasty cold and then I seemed to get some kind of 24-hour flu or something. Today is the first day in a week that I feel human and not like curling up in a ball and dying. Yay!

However, there are some good things about being sick. Sometimes your husband brings you beautiful roses to brighten your day!

i am a pacifist.

The police officer directing traffic tried to get the car to stop. The driver of the car, however, had different plans and proceeded through the intersection. The traffic cop, frustrated, I am sure, at being a traffic cop AND at being ineffective, pounded his fist on the hood of the moving car and exclaimed, "I said stop!", but to no avail. A young and beautiful Asian American woman waiting to cross the street excitedly blurted out, "SHOOT HIM!" Another woman in the crowd repeated the words and laughed. The gorgeous Asian American woman's husband quietly inquired, "did you just say, "shoot him"?" To which the exquisite woman replied, "um. Yes. It was in the heat of the moment. My life isn't very exciting." No shots were fired. The traffic cop was more successful stopping the next vehicle. Everyone safely crossed the street.

Boring.

Restore the Roar!!!!!!!

Somehow the Tigers made it to the post season for the first time since 1987. Jesse and I went to the game last night and it had to have been one of the most exciting games I have ever been to. I don't think I have ever seen the crowd so in to the game. We loved the Tigers with all our might, we hated the Yankees with just as much passion. Kenny Rogers was like a man possessed but not in a "I'm going to beat up a reporter way." Much more of a "the Yankees are MINE" way. He wanted this game and he worked his ass off to get it. 8 hard-earned strikeouts. I almost got teary-eyed when he was done, although that could have been because I am sick and hanging out in 50 degree weather for a few hours was making me want to cry. Let's just hope the Tigs can wrap this series up this afternoon.

Congrats to the Oakland A's. I'm a little sad that my boyfriend, Rondell White, is done for the season but a sweep is almost always exciting!

For those of you who follow the Tigers, this blog is a fun one to read. One of my favorite quotes from yesterday was Ernie Harwell talking about coming back to call the second inning.

"I don't want people to think of this as a comeback," said Harwell, who is retired from his longtime radio job. "It's just a cameo. I hope people will accept me."

We accept you Ernie. We accept you.

happy birthday!!

Today is my husband's birthday. We will celebrate with a trip to the recycling center, lunch and then baseball tonight.

Happy Birthday Jesse!!!

hurry!!

The internet connection at my house has been really bad lately. I am posting to say that Comcast sucks and it really makes me angry when I don't have internet and then see commercials on TV all about how their high speed internet is wonderful and will save the world.

Being sick sucks. But being sick without internet really sucks. Not sure why. It just does.

what do you do when you can't sleep?

I get out of bed and take Nyquil (I think I am getting a cold! Very sniffly and sneezy. Hopefully it is just allergies but it feels different). And then I lay back down and try to sleep. And then when that doesn't work I watch the rest of the Designing Women episode where they plan the funeral for their friend who has AIDS. And when that doesn't put me to sleep I get out of bed and go downstairs and read stuff on the internet. And then I watch a show on The Learning Channel about a family that has a set of twins and a set of sextuplets. And then I decide that maybe I am hungry so I go to the fridge to get a snack. I find dill pickles and leftover pizza. And then while I watch the show about a family with a million kids and only two births, I say a little prayer that I am eating pickles and pizza because we don't have any other food and not because I'm knocked up with an almost-baseball team.

Let's hope my late night snack will mean really messed up dreams for when I fall asleep before the sun rises. That's always a good time.

shower.

It was a shower filled weekend. Not only did I take a shower on Saturday morning, I was the target of a bridal shower on Saturday afternoon. Yes, I know I'm already married and these things usually occur before the nuptials as an opportunity to prepare the bride-to-be for the awkwardness of being the center of attention at the upcoming wedding. I have attended showers and have even given lingerie to the virgin-bride just to up the notch of embarrassment in front of elderly family members. Of course my gift was funny because it was pretty, red, silky lingerie that screamed, "SLUT THAT PROBABLY LIKES IT UP THE BUTT!" as opposed to pretty, white, lacy lingerie that blushingly whispers, "slut that probably likes it up the butt." Maybe it wasn't that funny. Anyway, back to my bridal shower as an already married old maid.

It was wonderful!!

Some of my closest friends and family were there and I don't think anyone felt awkward (well, maybe my 10-year-old niece felt awkward but that was probably because she's 10-years-old). I certainly didn't feel awkward. Not even when I opened the Horny Goat Weed from one of my best friends in the world. We all had fun and everything about the shower was comfortable, yet elegant. The food and the decorations, just lovely!

Now there is just one more wedding event and we will be done. I hope the last event goes as well as the shower went!

baby, baby.

I am sending thoughts and prayers to Minneapolis, MN today. My best friend from college is bringing she and her husband's twin boys into the world today. Cade and Eli, you are truly blessed with the most amazing, patient, and loving parents. Just remember, on Saturday evening I fully expect you to be saying "GO BLUE!" between eating and shitting. And be sure to tell your grandpa Tom all about how U of M icers kick ass. Anybody's ass (but mostly Laker ass). I can't wait to meet you guys!

Congratulations Juli and Nate and the rest of the family!!

shhhh....

The professor engaged the class of 20 students in a conversation about communication. Her main point was that words sometimes have several meanings and not everyone knows every meaning. For example, when she was growing up, people started to say, "that's bad" when they really meant "that's good." She asked the class for other examples. A woman sitting in the front row was wearing a very professional business suit. After class she goes to work as a social worker at a local hospital. She raised her hand because she had an example to share.

"Sometimes my granddaughter likes to take baths with me. One time she said, "Grandma! Why is your pee-pee hairy and mine isn't?" She calls her girl part a pee-pee!"

Silence.

bumper sticker

We saved the world from religious extremists
Who will save us?

this is love.

him: *reading a brochure i got in the mail for some stupid social work conference* Hey did you see this? If you go to the dance and have the best costume you win an ipod. Baby! You can go and win me an ipod!!

me: I would rather work at McDonald's full-time for a month and buy you an ipod. Jesus. I think I would have to work there full-time for a month to make enough to buy you an ipod.

him: Yeah, at entry-level.

me: Well of course. What other level would I enter at?

him: Oh you'd be good enough for a manager position.

me: *giving him my best "take it back" look* That's not a compliment.




Postscript:
10 minutes later...
him: You know what I mean, right? You are good enough for a management position.
me: *still giving him the look*

jogging doesn't help.

After class I came home to go for a quick run on the treadmill before heading out to visit some social service agencies in the area (not for fun but for an actual assignment from my field placement supervisor!!). My stomach hurt a little bit but it was weird pain. Not "I'm going to puke," not "I'm going to fart," not "I have to take a giant dump," just pain. I figured I would still get on the treadmill and would either feel better or would die.

Two minutes into my little jog I had the sudden and urgent need to puke. Don't worry, the bathroom wasn't far.

Note to self: tummy ache is NOT cured by exercise.

all that is wrong with the world.

My niece, Shelby, started preschool yesterday. This was a big deal because she had been on a waiting list to get into the school and was sooooo excited to go. When I found out that she would be starting school I thought it would be fun to get her a little gift. I went to the toy section and was trying to decide what to get for her. She is almost 3 years old and I know nothing about almost-3-year-olds. I do, however, know she loves Polly Pockets. I rushed to the Polly Pocket aisle and thought I would get the Back To School Polly Pocket. Yeah. I rushed for nothing. There was every kind of shopping Polly Pocket, every kind of cute little pet Polly Pocket, every kind of beauty treatment Polly Pocket (luckily Polly Pocket is already thin so there wasn't a liposuction Polly Pocket) but not one Polly Pocket related to doing something smart or going to school. We are all going to hell in the same Polly Pocket handbasket.

something you don't see every day.

On my way home from Ikea this morning I was driving 80 mph on the freeway with a posted speed limit of 55 mph. It's Detroit, there wasn't much traffic, and I have a radar detector so it really isn't that big of a deal. In my rear view mirror I spotted a little car weaving in and out of traffic. They were gaining on me pretty quickly. When they got to me and began to pass me I looked over to see what kind of person was driving 90 mph on the freeway with a posted speed limit of 55 mph. It was a little old white lady who could barely see over the steering wheel. She looked to be gripping the steering wheel with both hands and she had a little old lady passenger who had the biggest smile on her face. I just about died. I think they stole the car and were joy riding. I just hope they don't kill anyone on their little outing. I'll check the news later.

hobby.

I need one. Any suggestions?

"no"

Such an easy word to say. No. I say it a lot. I think. A few months ago I was unable to say No and am now getting ready to go to Ypsilanti to help train a bunch of volunteers, interns and new staff at the agency I used to work for. I'm getting ready to go but I'm wishing I had said no so I could continue my impromtu naptime this afternoon. There is something so lovely about taking a hot shower on a cool afternoon and sliding into bed with really soft sheets to watch tv for a few minutes and then waking up all cozy and warm with Willie Horton (cat or man) all snuggled up next to you. But then the not lovely part is realizing, OH SHIT, you were supposed to be at a meeting up at the school of Social Work and now you are going to miss the meeting and have to hurry a little to get to Ypsilanti to train a bunch of people that you don't care about on an issue that while you care about it, you are too dazed to be passionate about it. And the sad part is that when my ex-co-worker asks me to help her train the new volunteers in another few months, I will say yes because this ex-co-worker was one of the only people that respected me and was nice to me during my 4 years at that hell hole.

So. What does this say about me? Be nice to me and you will be able to get me to do just about anything.

It's Tuesday and I am supposed to be at my field placement. But I'm not. I talked to my supervisor and she is planning an orientation meeting for Monday morning. Great. That makes us two weeks behind. When I told her I was really worried about not getting my time in she said not to worry and that there will be lots to work on from home too. Great. Just what I always wanted.
The ghetto mama cat either moved her ghetto kittens or the ghetto kittens are dead and the ghetto mama took off. I've seen her a couple times down the street. We probably scared her away with all of our staring at her ghetto babies. Oh well. I'm sure she'll be back next year.

I went to the Jack to return some cans and get some groceries. Of course I walked out the door without the cans and didn't realize it until I was walking by the can return area at the Jack. Jack ass. I did, however, remember to buy the groceries while I was at the Jack.

Now I have a headache so I am going to drink some caffeinated soda and try to read some shit about social work for school.

miracle denied.

I plugged my phone in to charge it and it died. And it didn't come back. I took it to the store and they said sometimes it just happens. I didn't bother to tell them I had messed with it. The good news: I got a new phone. The bad news: I lost everything on my old phone. If you don't hear from me for a while it's probably because I don't have your phone number. Call me and then I'll have it again.

it's a miracle!!

My phone works again. It started working yesterday for no reason. I'm hoping it will continue to work. Having to take it in and pretend I didn't do anything to it was going to be very difficult for me. And from now on, I will have Jesse or someone else mess with it to try to turn off the EV-DO and then when it stops working I will be able to honestly tell the phone people that I didn't do anything to it. Yeah. That's it. It works for now. Whew!!

uh oh.

My phone is dead. I tried CPR and nothing worked. If you need to call me, leave me a voicemail and I'll get back to you someday. When I have a phone that works. Oh how I hate technology.

OOO!! Maybe now I can get a pink phone...

things i've learned.

• If the tires on your car have little green caps covering the air holes, it isn't because the tire guy tried (but failed miserably) to match your dark green car. It is because your new tires are filled with nitrogen and you shouldn't fill them with air. If you got your new tires at Costco, they filled them with nitrogen even though they didn't bother to tell you.
• Be very careful when hitting the "reply to all" button on your email. If you choose to use this feature, choose your words wisely. It is possible that newlyweds will be included in the "all" and writing that you "thought a Vegas wedding was bad enough" will hurt their feelings. The newlyweds didn't think there was anything bad about their Vegas wedding and they will always have fond memories of it. But since the sender probably didn't mean for us to read that, I am reminding everyone to be sure to use care when replying to all.
  
• When I am feeling down, fried mushrooms and tiramisu will brighten my day.
  

Unfortunately, that is all I have learned lately.

I need to get a life.

Today has just been stupid. Of course my field placement supervisor never called. I got up and went for a jog on the treadmill. I didn't want to but knew that tomorrow and Thursday I have class so there is no way I'll get up early to jog and that would be two more days of laziness. After that I started to feel sick. Migraine, again, and really sick to my stomach. So I took a couple Excedrin and laid around trying not to puke them up. My allergies are killing me so I decided to take a couple Sudafed. Then a little while later I decided it was time to get some reading done so I took a Ritalin. I feel like a junky.

Feeling gross isn't why I need to get a life. I need to get a life because yesterday Jesse and I discovered a mama ghetto cat and her adorable ghetto kittens under our neighbor's back porch. The mama ghetto cat had kittens there last spring and they were also adorable. Who knows what happened to them. I do know our neighbor's are not big fans of cats so I suspected they got rid of them. Anyway, I was surprised to see them because it is pretty late in the year and the kittens are pretty young, probably 5 or 6 weeks old at the most. As far as I can tell, there are three kittens, a gray tabby, an orange tabby and a calico. So freaking cute! A little while ago I could hear a cat crying. I went out on our porch to see if it was Barbaro Garbey. It was ghetto mama and she was sitting out by the neighbor's porch and she was crying and crying and crying. And there weren't any ghetto kittens with her. So now I'm all worried that the ghetto kittens washed away in the big rain storm that came through today. Why am I worried about ghetto kittens? I already told you. I need to get a life.

study day. i guess.

Today was supposed to be my first day of field placement. Last week I emailed my supervisor and never heard back from her. I got up this morning and called her and left a voicemail. A little while later I called her cell phone and she answered! She said she had a ton of stuff going on because there is a big grant due on Thursday and her husband is having some health problems so she was thinking of having a training for the interns on Friday. Hmmm... That is great except I am supposed to be putting in 15 hours each week at the agency! And if I get behind the first week I won't be very happy. And we just bought a new refridgerator and it is going to be delivered on Friday. But then she said she might have me come in tomorrow to help with the grant. I told her I would loooooove to do that. Not really. But I really don't want to get behind on my hours!!

So I spent most of today reading crap for class on Wednesday. I probably should have read more over the weekend but never got around to it. Oh well. I doubt she'll call tomorrow so then I'll have time to read stuff for class on Thursday.

Time to go cook dinner.

migraine.

I hate migraines. I have had one today and it has pretty much ruined my day. Jamaal, the kid across the street, asked me to come to his birthday party and I decided to skip it because my head hurts. I was supposed to go visit my friend in the hospital but I decided to skip it because my head hurts. Ugh. It isn't so bad that I am throwing up but it is bad enough to make me want to crawl in a dark hole and not come out for a long time. Instead I am laying around kind of watching tv. And now I'm looking at my computer screen and it doesn't feel very good. The Excedrin Migraine helped but we are all out of the usual migraine relief. That's probably just as well. *sigh* Jesse is at the birthday party. I hope he is having fun. Oh, and I found out that Jamal is 13, not 9 or 10 like I had originally thought. The little girl that lives next door to him is 9. And I don't know how to spell his name. Oh well. Happy Birthday Jamal! Eat some cake for me!!!

i'm beautiful.

I forgot a very funny thing that happened today. I went to get an oil change and while I was sitting in my car waiting for the oil change dudes to finish I had the following conversation with one of the oil change dudes...

oil change dude: your total is $32
me: *handed him my debit card*
oil change dude: I've worked on your car before.
me: oh. Really? *thought about telling him to fuck off because all Asians don't indeed look alike and he hadn't ever worked on my car before. But didn't actually say it because I have been to that oil change place a million times and it is quite possible he has worked on my car before*
oil change dude: you're really beautiful.
me: *gave him my best "are you kidding me???" look*
oil change dude: oh. I'm sorry. Was that offensive?
me: um. no. It would have been offensive if you said I'm really ugly.
oil change dude: well you're not. You're beautiful.
me: um. thanks. *debated whether or not to ask for a free or at least discounted air filter but decided against it because that just seems sleazy*

I think I really do say "um" that much. Maybe just to oil change dudes.

Wooo hooooooo!!! I survived two days of school. There hasn't been too much ridiculousness to report but don't worry, it's still early in the year. I have picked out the person Most Likely To Get Punched By Me and he happens to be in both my classes. He really likes the sound of his own voice and really feels like he has lots of interesting things to teach the class. He is wrong. Hopefully the professors will teach us how it is wrong for social workers to punch people before he gets too out of control.

Today has been kind of a crazy day. It started at 4AM when I woke up to a very loud popping, exploding noise and bright flashing lights. I was pretty sure some branch of the Armed Forces was looking for weapons of mass destruction in my backyard. I looked out the window and could see something exploding on the top of an electric pole somewhere in the alley behind our house. Of course we lost power. Jesse called DTE and the message said the problem would be fixed in 3 hours. Yeah. Right. I got back from class around 10:30AM and still no power. I left around 11:30AM and still no power. I was freaking out because Joanna had given me some homemade sausage and steak other yummy meat products that were in the freezer! We were very careful to not open the freezer for one second.

I went to Ann Arbor to visit my doctor for my oh-s0-fun yearly girly exam. My dr. just switched to a new office and it seemed a lot better than the old one. My appointment was at 1:30 and I was out of there at 2. Awesome!

After my appointment I went to the shelter to visit an old co-worker but she wasn't there so I went to the library and read for class. I was there for 2 hours! Amazing.

Then I had a hair appointment. I still haven't been able to quite break up with Dwight, my fabulous stylist. After the last appointment I thought it would be easy because he didn't do a very good job. But he was back to his old self again tonight and I totally love my hair. And he still hasn't charged me his newly raised price. Maybe it's because I told him we had to break up?

I'm home now. We have power. It looks like it came back on around 1PM. The ice cream in the freezer didn't look like it melted and refroze so I'm sure the meat is fine. Yay!! I was seriously worried about it all day. Whew!!

We're watching the Tigers play the Twins. This is a really important series. I'm hoping the Tigs can sweep but we'll see. It's good to see Rondell White, my ex-boyfriend (yeah. i wish.), even though he plays for the Twins now.

I'm exhausted after getting up at 7AM two days in a row. Allergies are kicking my ass so it might be time to take some Benadryl and pass out for the night. Whatever you do, don't call me tomorrow before noon and expect me to answer the phone.

Peace out.

school night.

Tomorrow is my first day of class. Why do I feel like I'm going to puke?

happy labor day!

I don't think I ever posted an update on my friend that was missing. Last week we found out she was at a hospital not too far from Detroit. I've been visiting her every couple days. It's been really difficult because she isn't doing well. It was a relief to know she was safe and not dead on the street somewhere but it was also heartbreaking because it is going to be a long time before she is stable again. But we're all hanging in there and I know I'm looking forward to the day that I can smile and laugh with her again.

Labor day weekend has been pretty low key. Just what I needed before school starts on Wednesday! Friday afternoon I met Katie in Ann Arbor for lunch. It was so much fun! We ate at Dominick's and we didn't even drink too much sangria. I haven't hung out on campus for a really long time so it was fun to see all the changes and to just chill with Katie. Yay!!

Yesterday Jesse and I decided to go have a nice dinner at one of our favorite Italian restaurants. It was yummy but took forever! We were at the restaurant for 2 1/2 hours!! Our waiter was our friend, Sean, and he insisted on buying us dessert. We had already pigged out so I was pretty sure I was going to die if I ate another bite. But since it was free, we couldn't say no! And I ate some of it and didn't die. Whew!!

Tomorrow is errand-running day. Seems like I have a ton to do but I think I can get it done pretty quickly. I hope so because we have a Tigers game tomorrow night! And then school on Wednesday morning. Yikes!!

where does the time go?

This week has been busy busy busy. Kind of.

Last weekend when Jesse and I went to GTC to get autographs from former Tigers players we went to lunch first in Mt. Clemens. The last time we went to GTC we found this little restaurant that had good food AND taught us to pray. This is a picture of the front of the menu.


And then there was this little street fair going on with lots of vendors and carnival rides. We didn't end up riding any rides or doing any shopping. We mostly walked around looking for an ATM. Didn't find one. But we did find this...

Perhaps I need to move to Mr. Clemens?

Monday afternoon I went to the Lansing area to meet with the reception hall place where Jesse and I will have our wedding reception. It was a nice place! My parents had found it and had booked it without me seeing it just because I'm lazy and they knew I'd never get around to it. Oh. I already told the skunk story.

Skip to Tuesday.

Tuesday was so much fun! Joanna and her kids met my family and I at the Michigan Historical Center. The museum is in the same building as the state library where my dad used to work so I had been there before but it was a loooong time ago. I was a little worried that it would be boring and the kids would want to leave after 10 minutes but I worried for nothing! We all had a blast and were there for an hour and a half!

Here are some photos...

Perfect for a group of pacifists!


Me doing a historical pole dance. The best part was trying to get the kids to leave the room so we could take funny photos. The dude pole dancer was better than me. Hey. He got a ladder!


What kind of museum is this??


After lunch I totally invited myself along on Joanna's trip to the Capitol with the kids. This is the dome.

skunk watch 2006.

Skunk. Not skank. I am at my parents' house tonight. My mom, niece and nephew went over to my brother's and sister-in-law's new house to visit for a while. My dad didn't go with us because he had to go to a planning commission meeting or something. I was here last week and my parents told me that for the first time since they have lived in this house (about a bzillion years) they have a skunk problem. There is a family of skunks that hangs out in their yard every night. Yuck. Well, tonight we got home and opened the garage door and saw a skunk that had been stuck in the garage run under the work bench. I said "SHIT! Oops. Sorry Paige. Sorry Ian." Ian, who is 8 years old, said, "It's okay. I don't mind." I parked the car in the driveway and the only way in to the house was through the garage. So I ran in through the garage door and through the house and opened the front door so they could escape from the car into the house. Then we weren't sure where the skunk was. So I grabbed a flashlight and found the stupid skunk. It was still under the work bench. Then we had to stand at the door and watch until the skunk left so we knew it was safe to close the garage door. We were pretty sure my dad would come home in the middle of all of this and mess up our plan and probably get sprayed. Silly dad. The skunk finally left so my mom closed the garage door. The car was still in the driveway and she noticed she had left the dome light on. Couldn't go turn it off because the skunk decided to hang out in front of the house for a while. Right in front of the door. It finally moved so I got the flashlight again to see if we could make it to the car to move it in. Just as I saw it running toward me my dad came driving down the road and up the driveway. Well, because the skunk was running toward me, my mom and I both screamed and ran inside and slammed the front door. Luckily my dad saw the skunk and parked at the end of the driveway. And when my mom and I screamed, the skunk turned and ran the other way.

Whew.

The cars are safe in the garage now. I'm safe inside. Nobody got sprayed.

I wonder if it is safe to go outside and have a cigarette.

Wish me luck.

world's worst.

I used to think I knew the world's worst social worker. She was a woman in one of my social work classes. I just found out that I was wrong. I am the world's worst social worker. There is this show on A&E called Intervention and it's basically about family and friends doing interventions for alcoholic and other drug addicted loved ones. It is what my old coworker Brenda would call a "hot mess." And I am watching it. And it is awful and so intrusive and unethical. And I am still watching it. I think the National Association of Social Workers that I just joined as an MSW student is at my door. They want to kick me out. Perhaps I can get a refund for my membership dues?

joke's on me.

I called the police. They didn't care.

angry.

We went to Gibraltar Trade Center today to get autographs from Mickey Lolich and Dick McAuliffe. As you know, I always get a Polaroid of myself and the signer and then have them sign it. It has never been a problem before and one time I actually bought two tickets and they said I didn't have to buy one just to have them sign a Polaroid. So Mickey was first today and we got a baseball autographed, I got my photo taken with him and I asked him to sign it. No problem. When we got up there for Dick I asked the GTC man if Mr. McAuliffe was cool with getting his picture taken too. He said yes but I couldn't have him sign it unless I bought another ticket and that I was sneaky with Mickey's. I told him I have never had a problem before and that even Sparky Anderson signed one with no problems. He just shrugged. And I wanted to punch him. So now I have a Polaroid of me and Dick McAuliffe but it isn't autographed. I hate that GTC man.

We just got home and as we turned down our street there were two garbage dumpsters in the street. I drove by them and there were two cars parked so they were blocking the street. Apparently the businesses at the end of the street had decided to have an impromtu street party and weren't letting any cars in. Well how the hell am I supposed to get home? I drove up on the curb and down the alley and back up the street. Now I am going to go call the police and tell on them. I'm in just that kind of mood.

bad day.

I hate myself for hearing that stupid bad day song in my head as I wrote the title for this post. Someone should probably titty punch me right now.

This morning I had to go to more orientation fun. It was just as ridiculous as yesterday's waste of time. I did get to watch a safety video by this guy. I can't tell you what it was about because I was completely and totally mesmerized by his mustache. It was amazing! And the video was made in the 80s so I also found the hairstyles to be quite fun. This afternoon I had to go to a library orientation. Luckily it was in a computer lab so I watched the ESPN Gamecast thing of the Tigers vs. White Sox game. Stupid Tigers. It took a lot of control to not throw the computer on the floor and stomp on it.

The past couple days have been really difficult for me because a good friend of mine managed to walk out of a psychiatric hospital on Monday and we don't know where she is. Today I got word that she was in Detroit a couple days ago so I spent a couple hours driving around looking for her. I don't know that she is still in Detroit. I don't know how she got here from Lansing. I do know that she has no identification, no money and only the clothing she is wearing. I am having a hard time getting anything done since my mind keeps going back to her. If you pray, please pray for her safe return. It's a mean ol' world out there and even though she is one of the most intelligent women I know, she is sick and I am terrified that something really really bad will happen to her, if it hasn't already.

back to reality.

I spent much of today at grad school orientation. Boy. What a bunch of fun that was. Can you see the sarcasm dripping from everywhere it is possible to drip from? I completely understand that new students need to have some kind of introduction to the program. I don't understand why the things they decided to introduce us to were the kinds of things that they should have screened for in admitting us to the program. If I don't know that it is important to write a good paper with proper grammar then maybe I shouldn't have been accepted in the first place. Oh. Maybe someone found my blog and could see that my grammar sucks ass and they decided to punish everyone.

It's all my fault.

The best part is I have to go back to be punished some more tomorrow. I wonder if anyone would notice if I had a bloody mary in my Nalgene bottle... Perhaps it is time to go flask shopping?

School starts soon. Guess it is time to get out of my no-job-summer mode. Bummer.

i know nothing.

But I have opinions about everything. And because this is my blog, I will share my opinions with you.

When I was at the Jack earlier I ran into a mom with two kids several times as I searched for the Boboli. One of the kids (a boy) looked to be about 6 or 7 years old and the other (a girl) looked about 4 or 5. They were running around all crazy and screaming and chasing each other. That was annoying on its own. But what really bugged the crap out of me was the girl had a pacifier in her mouth the whole time. So many thoughts were running through my head.
Things like:

• School starts in a couple weeks and she is going to get the ever-loving crap beat out of her
• Daddy must be an orthodontist without enough patients to practice on
• Blow job queen
• Wouldn't a thumb be less embarrassing?
  
• Dirty
• She is going to be so beautiful on her wedding day. I hope they can find a bridal pacifier for her
  
• If she screams and gets in my way one more time I will ram that thing down her throat

At one point I heard the mom ask the little girl to go get the Easy Mac. The kid took the pacifier out of her mouth long enough to say "okay" as she ran down the aisle and picked out the correct box from the shelf. If a child is old enough to grocery shop, s/he is too old to have a pacifier.

i hate today.

Insomnia set in big time last night and I was not able to fall asleep until 5:30 this morning. It wasn't such a big deal since I didn't have to get up for anything this morning. I think I set my alarm for 10AM sometime after Jesse left but I don't really remember doing it. I remember hitting snooze a lot. And then at 11AM the doorbell rang. I decided to not answer it because I sleep in the nude and jumping up to put clothes on and running downstairs to find the UPS or Fedex guy has already taken off just didn't sound like fun. So I laid there and pretended to not hear it. And then it rang again. And again. And just as I was considering getting up there was pounding on the front door. Oh shit! It must be someone that is in trouble or something. UPS/Fedex are just not that tenacious!! So I quickly pulled on some shorts and a sweatshirt and ran downstairs. I opened the door and the kid across the street, Jamaal, was walking back to his house. When he heard me open the door he turned and came back and said, "Can we borrow your lawn mower?" Um. Can I kick you in the balls you little asshole? His dad was standing on their porch and yelled, "Oh did we wake you up?" I didn't have my glasses on so I couldn't see anything. My hair was probably all matted to my head. The shorts I pulled on are at least 2 sizes too big so I was holding on to them because I didn't take the time to put on any underwear since I thought there was an emergency at my front door. "Yes. Um. I'm not feeling well." was my reply. It was the nicest thing I could come up with. Everything else started out with the 'f' word and that just isn't the way to make nice with the neighbors. So I met Jamaal in the back yard and dragged the lawn mower out with one hand since the other hand was still making sure my shorts stayed up.

I took a shower and went to the grocery store. We decided to have Boboli pizza for dinner tonight. I just haven't felt like eating lately so really haven't felt like cooking! I walked up every aisle in the Jack TWICE before I found the stupid Boboli. But everything is okay. Because there. Across the crowded grocery store. Our eyes locked. That's right. Major Peters Bloody Mary Mix. For sale. At the Jack. *sigh* All is right with the world again.

this and that.

Not much has been going on this week.

Last weekend we went to Chicago to see the Tigs play the White Sox. It was an unfortunate game, and an unfortunate weekend for the Tigs. As you probably know, they got swept by the White Sox. The game we saw especially sucked because Contreras pitched an amazing game for the Sox. It was some of the best pitching I have ever seen and I kind of wanted to vomit. The good news is it was Elvis night at the park!

And in even better news, cousinseth really enjoys corndogs.


The rest of the weekend was spent recovering from the night of extensive beer drinking that occurred after the game.

I had a couple meetings for my field placement this week. I think it will be an interesting place to do my internship. We'll see.

Friday night we went to the Rangers vs. Tigs game. Tigs lost but it was nice to be back at Comerica. After the game we met some people at the Comet Bar for some cheap beer and karaoke. It ended up being a really big group of people from all different areas of life. Most of them were from the Second City cult but Julie and I survived anyway. I haven't even looked at the photos I took yet. I'm sure there are some gems and I'll post them when I get around to it.

Right now I'm watching the Tigs blow another big lead to the Rangers. So frustrating!

i'm too sexy.

I always wanted Joel and Zach to sing the Right Said Fred song, I'm Too Sexy, during my wedding. Zach didn't come to Vegas. Oh wait. Was he invited? Anyway, and Elvis was the only one to sing during the wedding. This little performance was at the karaoke bar much later that night...

las vegas ... day 3 ... wedding day

After two nights of 4 hours of sleep I was planning on sleeping in until the wedding ... or at least until my hair appointment. Neither happened. We woke up early again. It must have been anxiety or excitement or something because it sure as hell wasn't because I had gotten enough sleep! I took a lovely bath with the lovely bath salts provided by the hotel. We ordered a huge room service breakfast which was free since we complained about it taking them 45 minutes to check us in to the hotel. This is what a $60 breakfast looks like.

It doesn't look so yummy anymore. Jesse got the Japanese breakfast which involves food that I believe should be eaten for lunch. Or dinner. But never breakfast. I, on the other hand, ordered the very yummy Western omelette which involves food that should be eaten for every breakfast.

I laid around the room trying to nap for a while and Jesse went to wander the hotel. He is so tricky. He came back with a present! And a really really sweet card that made me cry.

I met my mom and my sister at the hair salon to get an updo. This is what it looked like.

I stole that photo from Joanna. Geez, I hope that's okay! I didn't take very many photos that day. Anyway, who knew that my hair could do such girly things!

After the hair appointment my mom, sister and I had a lovely lunch together. It was so nice to just chill with my family. Then they ditched me to go back to their hotel room to get ready. I went back to the room to start to get ready. I wanted to get an early start since the best man, Chris, and Elke would be getting ready in our room. Their hotel was far away and it was just easier for them to get ready at our room instead of traveling in their wedding attire. Jesse was hanging out with his family after he had a massage at the spa.

I don't remember the rest of the day.

Wait. I remember Joel and Amanda coming and hanging out in our room while we got ready. It was really cool to have them there! Amanda even ironed Jesse's shirt for him.

Chris and Elke got there and changed into their less comfortable clothes. Jesse and I headed down to the hotel lobby to smoke a quick cigarette before the limo got there.

We all got in the limo. The driver made me get in last. Something about the bride shouldn't have to slide across the seat in her wedding dress. But what about when the bride gets really motion sick in the back seat of a car? Yeah. It is even worse in the back seat of a long ass limo. Luckily it was a short drive.

We pulled up to the chapel and I saw all these faces that I knew. Why were they standing outside in the Vegas heat? Were they insane? Yes. And they were waiting for us to get there. And instead of getting to say hi to people we were rushed in the chapel to sign shit and run through the ceremony real quick. And I barely had time to pee before it was time to walk down the aisle. And then Elvis was there. And a not-so-attractive hula girl. And then I had to stand there and say some shit and get a ring put on my finger and put a ring on Jesse's finger and then kiss him and then walk down the aisle at the wrong time and then watch everyone dance and then go back and then have Elvis tell us to walk down the aisle. And then I had to have some dude in the back say that Jesse and I were really married and my dad gave him some cash and then Jesse and I kissed again. And then we had to go have photos taken with Elvis and hula girl and other people. And then back in the limo and headed to MGM Grand for dinner.

I didn't take Ritalin because sometimes it makes me feel funky and I didn't want to feel funky for the wedding. Yeah. I should have taken it. I was so overwhelmed and all over the place. Yikes!

We all ate at the buffet and it was really fun. It was more about hanging out and talking to people than eating. There were people there that I haven't ever met before, people that I haven't seen in a long time, and just wonderful family and friends that I would want to see anywhere!

After dinner some of us headed over to the Tropicana for drunken debauchery. We ended up at a karaoke bar. Hmm. Imagine that. Joel and "Zach" (Seth) did a wonderful rendition of I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred. Jesse got pimped into singing the Jenny Jenny song by Joel and Adam (I think). Adam and Chrissy sang Keep Your Hands to Yourself by Georgia Satellites. It was a good time to be had by all. Lots of vodka and tonic. Lots.

We gambled for a little bit and I headed to bed. Oh what a fun wedding day!!

let's go tigers!!

Cousin Sethy and Girl Erin got tickets to see the Tigers play the White Sox at Comiskey... oh excuse me, US CellularField, and they invited us to join them! So we head to Chicago this afternoon for tonight's game. I can't wait!! I've never been to Comiskey before!

Sometime this weekend I hope to finish the Vegas posts. See you soon!

solving the bigger world problems. or not.

I returned home with a bag full of groceries to make chili for dinner (yes, I know it is summer but my husband requested it!). As I was getting out of my car I waved to the neighbor boys sitting on the porch across the street. They were deep in conversation and acknowledged my presence with a faint nod. I set the groceries and Tumi bag on my porch so I could drag the dumpster from the street back to the house. When I got to the other side of the street and was about to take hold of the dumpster, I heard Jamaal say, "Miss Jenny will know." Jamaal is 9 or 10 and I think his friend is a little bit younger. The boys came up to me and said they had a question. I was expecting a question about the meaning of life or why Detroit is in the shambles it is in. I look just that smart, you know. I could not, however, have imagined the question that was asked of me.

Jamaal: Don't you think a black Hummer3 is better than a yellow one?
Other little boy: No, no Miss Jenny. The yellow ones are better.
Me: *blank stare*
Jamaal: You know, H3's? The black ones. They're better. Right?
Me: *blank stare but having to say something* Well.... do you mean that bright yellow, like a school bus? (the kid probably thinks I'm retarded because who has ever seen a pastel yellow H3?)
Other little boy: Yeah! The bright ones!
Me: Well, I kind of like the black ones but you know, they are harder to keep clean in the winter because of all the salt on the road.
Jamaal and Other little boy: *blank stares*
Jamaal to Other little boy: See, I told you the black ones are better.
Me: *walks away feeling old and married and totally out of touch with the youth of today but proud of myself for not lecturing them about not worrying about which color but how the urban assault vehicles are destroying the planet*

Guess they will think again about asking me to resolve their next dispute.

in case you didn't know.

A couple days before our wedding a friend came to me and told me she thought Jesse and I shouldn't get married. This was an awful experience for me. It was awful because it was the last thing I wanted to hear and it was awful because I knew my friend didn't mean it. I knew her words meant that her mental illness was back in full force and we were in Vegas and I couldn't help her the way she needed me to because I had a wedding and a new marriage to focus on. But what I want to share with you is that if you hear about someone telling the bride-to-be she shouldn't get married, please don't call the newlywed to laugh about what happened. I know you might not know about the mental illness aspect of the situation but I think it would have been even less funny if craziness hadn't been a factor!! Should you call to laugh about what happened, the newlywed will be horrified and hurt that you think the situation was funny. And then she will blog about you.

las vegas ... day 2

Friday morning I wanted to sleep in more than anything in the world. Is that too much to ask? Apparently. I woke up at 8 or something equally as stupid. Of course I couldn't get back to sleep. I had visions of slot machines and showgirls running through my head! We got up and decided to find our way to get our marriage license.

The new Department of Justice building where we got our license is by the Fremont area. After we filled out our forms with the little pencils you get at Ikea or at a miniature golf place and paid our $55 and got our marriage license we went to find Chris and Elke. They flew in the night before and we weren't able to hook up with them. We found them!


We all headed back to Jesse and my hotel to drop off some stuff and then head out to meet Joel and Amanda. Pete Rose signs autographs at the Forum Shops at Caesars Palace. We had decided we would go and get an autograph. We knew we would have to pay but had no idea how much. I expected $50 or so. I mean, it's not like he is a hall-of-fame candidate! Unfortunately, Mr. Rose charges $70 for an autograph. They said he would write whatever you wanted for that $70. Um. No. I got a polaroid taken of me looking pissed with Pete in the background. It's very funny.

We wandered around the shops for a while and stopped to get some cocktails. I called Joanna and they were over at the Venetian so we decided to head over there to see what those crazy kids were up to. Of course we had to make a stop along the way.

Aren't they cute?

The Venetian was really cool. Lots to do and see! We walked around for a while then sat in the sports area to watch the Tigers game. While we were there Jesse got a call from his dad. Their flight to Vegas from Washington, DC had been cancelled due to a really big storm. They ended up getting a room in DC and didn't make it to Vegas. We were really bummed that they couldn't make it but were grateful that they were safe and sound!


Jesse and I decided to go back to the hotel to relax for a while before meeting up with people again. It took us forever to get back to our room and then Jesse was dealing with the airline and hotels to try to get refunds on his dad's trip. So much for relaxing! We ended up getting dinner at 10PM. His friend, Justin, arrived in Vegas so he met us at our hotel. We wanted to meet Joel and Amanda and Erica and Fitz but just weren't sure what was going on. By the time we finally decided to go with Justin to check in to his hotel and meet Joel and Amanda there too, Erica and Fitz had ridden a bus for 45 minutes to get to our hotel only to get there right as we were leaving in a cab. I felt awful! I am the worst friend ever!! We went to Justin's hotel and tried to catch the bikini bull riding show but didn't end up getting there in time. So not only did I piss off my friends, I missed the freaking bikini bull riding show! Oh the night wasn't going well. From Justin's hotel we went to the Stardust to gamble for a while but I didn't end up winning anything. Since I didn't get much sleep the night before, I was ready to go around 2. Or was it 3? On our way back to our hotel our cab got rear-ended. It was really a pretty light tap but definitely hard enough to be able to feel it. Luckily we were a half block from the hotel and ended up just walking the rest of the way. It was just a messed up end to a messed up night.

Lucky for me, Erica and Fitz were very nice the next day when I called to apologize and beg forgiveness. Whew!!

I was looking forward to getting a good night of sleep because I was getting married the next day!