really good christmas

I forgot to tell you that I had a kick ass Christmas. Jesse and I exchanged gifts on Christmas eve so we didn't have to carry stuff to Maine.

I was excited when he gave me this to unwrap...


And I was more excited when I opened it and it was this...



I truly do have the best boyfriend ever!

I also got the Bose SoundDock for my ipod that I wanted! It was difficult to leave my gifts behind and travel to Maine.

fun in maine

Christmas day was a whirlwind of dogs. Jesse's mom and her husband have two great danes. Very large dogs. His sister and her family came on Christmas day with their two dogs, one was a great dane and the other was a black lab/boxer mix puppy. There was lots of peeing when they showed up. I didn't realize dogs pee when they get excited. His family likes dogs. I almost threw up when his aunt said, "Who peed on my foot?" and sure enough, a dog had peed on her foot. She wasn't even mad. Wha? Huh? Then his aunt and cousin and cousin's boyfriend came over. They brought two dogs, a really old and deaf and mostly blind dog and a brown lab puppy. Needless to say, it was very overwhelming and I kind of wanted to pee on someone by the end of the afternoon. It was nice to catch up with the human family members. We haven't seen his nephew in two years and he's four now. Totally funny kid! He quotes Napoleon Dynamite like nobody's business.

We went to Caribou to visit his dad. It was a really long drive. We stopped a million times and it took 8 hours to get there. Here's another travel tip. If you get motion sick, don't go on a road trip that means being in the car for at least 12 hours in two days. It sucks. Just don't do it. But! It was really good to see his dad and really get to know him. I met him on Jesse's and my second date but it was kind of awkward. That is probably a story for another blog. Anyway, Caribou got 39 inches of snow the couple days before we got there. People in Maine don't realize how much Maine and Michigan have in common. They acted like nobody else gets lots of snow. Northern Maine reminded me a lot of northern Michigan.

This could be any town in northern Michigan...


And this also could have been taken in Michigan...


And this definitely made me think I was back in my home state...


On Thursday we borrowed Jesse's mom's car and went to Freeport to do some Christmas shopping for my parents. We'll see them in January to exchange gifts. We ended up going to the hunting and fishing section of the L.L. Bean store. It might not sound fun but let me tell you, we were there longer than any other store in Freeport! We found some DVDs that were supposedly about hunting but we are pretty sure it was wilderness porn.


We had a great time. Next time I think we won't go for so long. And I think I will rent a car. And Joanna's making me some pants with secret pockets for carrying flasks and treats. Right, Joanna??

Happy New Year!! We'll be celebrating with friends in Ann Arbor. I'm sure there will be funny photos to post tomorrow.

ho sweet ho

So many meanings to that title. You pick the one you like best.

It's good to be back in the D. I'm exhausted because apparently my body isn't capable of sleeping the night before a flight so I was up pretty much all night last night. We left Jesse's mom's house at 4:30 this morning. I didn't think we were going to make our flight but it actually worked out perfectly. We walked out of security on to the plane. Nice! I've been laying around all day watching t.v. Thank God for Law & Order: SVU marathon on USA.

I'm really sleepy so I won't post anything about the trip right now. I might write something I regret. Or something you regret. Or something like that. You will just have to wait until tomorrow. Or the next day. Or something like that.

vacation update

I'm still alive. We leave tomorrow at 4:30 A.M. I think our flight leaves at 6 A.M. I'm ready to go home!! Many lessons have been learned on this trip. I will share more when I'm not posting from dial up. But let me just leave you with this one tip. For those of you who have had trouble pooping on a regular basis, if you plan on traveling, eat some extra fiber or take some pooping pills or something. Going four days without taking a shit is not fun. I repeat... NOT fun. See you in the D!

merry christmas!

That's right folks, I finally caught the Christmas spirit. It could be because Santa came to my house last night and dropped off a Bose SoundDock for my ipod. I know it's supposed to be about the giving. So I gave Jesse some presents, too.

We're leaving for Maine in a little while. I hope you have a wonderful holiday and I'll be back in few days. I'll try to post something from Maine but it won't be a lot because his mom has dial up. Maybe we can go to the library or something. Library? What's that??

kids

I don't have a kid. And I don't know if I will ever have a kid. But I do know that I can't have this in my bathroom without people being afraid of me. So maybe getting to have this in my bathroom is a reason to have kids?

things i hate

The holiday spirit has not hit me yet. So here we go...

• Cars that drive 65 in the passing lane when the speed limit is 70. I know the cars in the middle lane aren't even driving 65 and you are passing them but GET OUT OF MY WAY.
• 98% of the people I work with (coworkers, not clients)
• 10% of the people I work with (clients, not coworkers)
• Icy sidewalks that the snow removal people should have salted but didn't.
• Lazy snow removal people
• Hitting snooze on the alarm clock so many times that I lose count and end up getting out of bed late.
• Team meetings, which is why I'm hiding in my office. Don't call me because I'm not answering my phone in case they are trying to talk me into coming to the team meeting.
• Warm soda.
• Warm beer. (You have to say 'warm' like 'narm')
• Alarm clocks
• Being nice to people I don't like
• dirty computer keyboards

That's all for now. I'm sure there is lots more. But I'm feeling kind of bad for skipping my meeting this morning. I'm going to go downstairs to find something to keep me busy until the meeting is over.

bullshit buffet

Today was a very busy day at work. I thought of about a bzillion things to blog but didn't have time. So you get it all at once in one blog. Aren't you lucky? And even more fun is that I'm feeling so A.D.D. lately. Just super overwhelmed and like everything is happening at once. Which it probably is. Maybe not.

I don't know a ton about computers. But I'm glad I know more than Chicken Little (for those of you who are not paying attention, Chicken Little is my supervisor. I am not chastising you for not paying attention, believe me, I understand). A little conversation we had the other day:

Chicken Little: My computer died so I'm getting a new one. You're on the list to get a new one too.
Me: Really? Mine isn't that old.
CL: You're getting one because it isn't compatible with service point (a program we use for tracking homeless people). Your computer has to have a gig or something.
Me: Probably has to have more than a gig. My computer has almost 30 GB.
CL: Oh. Well I guess it only needs one and that's why they are going to replace it.

This worries me because the last time I got a new computer it took almost 3 months! Someone had broken into our office and stolen our computers and printers. That was when I first realized I spent far too much time messing around on the internet instead of working.

I was getting ready to go on a home visit this afternoon. I felt something in a pocket in my jacket that I don't use very much. I unzipped the pocket and pulled out two jello shots. A green one and a purple one. I said, "Oh! Jello shots!" much in the way I would say "Oh! Bendy straw!" and my coworker looked at me like I was crazy. They were in there from Saturday. I don't remember putting them there! I just looked at her, opened them and drank them both.

Just kidding.

I was supposed to have dinner with a friend tonight but apparently she hates me. Instead of having dinner I decided to go to the Borders store in Detroit to get a couple more Christmas presents. Most of the traffic lights in the very downtown area of the city were out. And apparently I am the only one that thinks to treat the intersection as a 4-way stop when the lights are out. It was crazy! And kind of creepy because the traffic lights were out but some of the street lights were on. Who knows what was going on. I think I'm all done shopping now. Except for my parents and I'm going to shop for them at the L.L. Bean store in Freeport, ME. If anyone needs new flannel, let me know and I'll hook you up. Fo' shizzle. Hm. It really isn't that surprising that my friend hates me.

Last night I checked my grades online and I got two A's. Apparently my microtheory professor felt sorry for me or something and gave me an A instead of an A-. Whew!

My last day of work is tomorrow. I'm way behind on a ton of work and will never finish before tomorrow at 5. I thought I would get lots done today because I couldn't leave my office. We got so many donations in for the holidays that it took a while to move shit so I could have a path to leave. It's a good thing the fire marshal didn't stop by because I'm pretty sure we were violating some code. The one that says if there is a fire you have to be able to get out of the burning building without having to climb over waist high boxes of household items and holiday gifts for homeless families.

Tonight I wrap presents and enjoy a bloody mary or two or three or four.

almost anniversary

I started blogging almost a year ago. I would celebrate but really now, what is there to celebrate? This has turned into one more place for me to bitch and moan. I wanted to post all these funny things about the village and their ridiculous emails but their emails have been so boring lately. Nothing funny to report. I still think they are ridiculous people. I shouldn't say all of them are ridiculous because I don't know any of them. Ha! But I do know that someone had a party a couple weeks ago and I couldn't get down the street because their valet parking was taking up the whole street. Valet parking at someone's house. Yeah. Ridiculous.

Last night was Jesse's graduation show. He graduated from stand-up comedy class. I wasn't feeling well but I dragged my sorry ass to Livonia. I'm so glad I went! He was really really really funny. And I'm not just saying that because I love him. I've gotten to the point where if I don't think it's funny, I don't laugh. And I was laughing at his jokes! When I first started going to his improv shows I laughed at everything because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Now I don't give a shit. And I wasn't the only one laughing at his jokes. It seemed the rest of the audience thought he was funny too. Well, everyone except one of his coworkers. He didn't look amused at all. And his girlfriend. She didn't really laugh either. Maybe they had to stop and get an abortion on the way to the club or something.

Back to this one year anniversary thing. I have great plans for this blog in the next year. They involve interpretive dance, furniture building, midget porn and new beginnings.

4 more days of work.

We had another busy weekend! I think it was fun. It ended way too soon and I had a really hard time getting my ass out of bed this morning.

Saturday was my last day of class. YAY!! I got my final exam back and got an A on the stupid thing. Looks like I'll get an A- in the class, maybe an A. I'm just glad to be done and now will have to start working on my grad school application. If they don't let me in I'm going to be soooo pissed. Maybe I should wait to quit my job until I know for sure. Damn.

Saturday night we went to my brother-in-law's brother's solstice party. He lives in Northville which isn't too far away but we decided to get a hotel room a few miles from his house since we had to go to Lansing on Sunday. Northville is somewhere in between Detroit and Lansing. I'm so glad we got the hotel room because we ended up having tons of fun, which translates to drinking lots of wine and other alcoholic beverages. Jello shots. When we returned to the hotel room I had 5 jello shots in my coat pocket and Jesse had a couple in his pocket. I think we got them for the ride home. Not sure.

Wanna hear a funny story? Okay but I have to warn you it is kind of about sex. So if you don't want to read it, stop here.

We were drunk and ended up getting kind of loud. Well, I got kind of loud. On Sunday morning I could hear the people in the room next door talking. I could hear their voices, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. But I could tell they were speaking with 'indoor' voices. The night before I definitely wasn't using an 'indoor' voice. If they were awake the night before they had to have heard me. How embarrassing. Oh well. I figured I would never see them. Except when we left the room to go check out the continental breakfast, the lovely family with a mom, dad and two adolescent daughters in the room next to ours left at exactly the same time. I just about died. We started walking toward the elevator behind them but I chickened out and we turned around and took the stairs. Why me????

Sunday was fun family party at my parents' house. Ah family with a hangover. So much fun. It actually wasn't too bad. My niece (my brother's daughter) is just about the cutest kid I've ever seen. She's 2 and talks nonstop and cracks me up. Most of the time I could even understand what she was saying. I think last night I was sleeping by 9:30. Pathetic but I'm getting old and just can't recover from a night of drinking like I used to.

We leave for Maine on Saturday. I'm really looking forward to spending time with Jesse's family. It will be hard to not be with my family because we are so ridiculously close. But his family is starting to feel like my family even though we don't see them as often as we would like to so it will all be good. And because we don't want to drag all of our Christmas presents to Maine and then drag them back home, Jesse and I are exchanging gifts on Saturday. Oh yeah!!

fun at the grocery store.

This afternoon I took a trip to downtown Ann Arbor to pick up my contacts from the eye doctor. I had to drive by a grocery store that sells one of my favorite kinds of bloody mary mix. For some reason nobody in Detroit sells it. On my way back to work I stopped at the grocery store to buy some bloody mary mix. Yum! I picked up a couple bottles and I tried to think if there was anything else I needed.

Oh! I need maxi pads!

That's right.

I bought two bottles of bloody mary mix and one package of maxi pads. I was waiting for the check out lady to laugh at me but she didn't. I thought it was hysterical.

take a bath.

My skin gets really dry in the winter. I am fairly obsessed with finding the right products to keep my skin nice and hydrated and soft and smooth. This morning when I was in the shower applying my oh so lovely Origins Salt Rub I had flashbacks that I think explain my obsession with moisturizing products. When I was little I didn't care about dry skin and never put lotion on my body. In the spring my skin was still dry but by summer it would be okay. One spring I was running around in shorts and tshirt and because my skin was all dry and ashy, my knees and elbows looked darker where that dry, ashy skin was bunched up. One of the neighbor kids who was 6 years older than me pointed and laughed at me and yelled, "Look! Jenny has dirty knees!" When I tried to explain that I just took a bath the night before, she laughed and yelled, "Dirty knees! Dirty knees! Jenny has dirty knees!" And from that point on, whenever I saw her, she would call me "Dirty Knees." That's right. I've never recovered from having dirty knees that were indeed, clean. She stopped calling me Dirty Knees right around the time she said I was too stupid to meditate. I think that's a story for another day.

chicken little 1, me 0

I just heard on the radio that we have a winter storm warning for tomorrow. 4 to 7 inches of snow for southeast MI. I'm sorry Chicken Little. I'm sorry.

the sky is falling!

I've decided to refer to my supervisor as Chicken Little from now on. The latest drama today is a huge ice storm we are going to get on Thursday. This morning she went on and on about how bad it is going to be. I can't find anything about it online. I looked at weather.com. I looked at the Detroit tv station websites. Nothing. Maybe she is psychic?

the cult.

As some of you may know, improv is taking over the world. Last night I was sitting in my last Monday night class when I overhead the most annoying woman in the entire University say, "There's a guy in my improv class that works with his dad." Part of me wanted to know where she takes improv class because I want to see her class show. I'm pretty sure she is one of the least funny people I have ever met, as well as one of the worst social workers. When class ended a woman invited me to go get drinks with some of the people in the class. When I saw improv woman was going I said no thanks. Maybe I should have gone. Maybe she is really the cult leader.

On Friday I had to attend the agency holiday party. I didn't have to but if I didn't, I would have to use vacation time to take the day off. As much as I hated the idea of attending a holiday party with these yahoos I work with, I didn't want to use vacation time because I need it for more pressing matters, such as spring training.

While at the party I spoke with the executive director about whether or not he would be willing to help me out with a situation I was going through with another local agency. We talked about the situation and he said he would be happy to make some phone calls to the director of that agency to get the situation taken care of. Then he said he had to talk to me about something. He told me about a position at the agency that will be opening up soon. The woman that is currently in that job is pregnant and when she leaves for maternity leave she won't return. He said he thought of me for the position and hoped I would consider applying for it. I didn't know what to say because I don't want him to know I don't plan on being around long enough for a job change. And I didn't want to lie to him and tell him I will apply for it. My supervisor was sitting at the same table and overheard the conversation.

About 15 minutes after the uncomfortable conversation with the executive director one of my coworkers came up to me as I was getting ready to leave. She pulled me aside and said my supervisor told her about the conversation the director was having with me and wanted to know how I handled it. I really like this coworker and she already knows that I don't plan on being around forever so she was asking because she wanted to know if I was okay and if I had to tell him I was planning on leaving. I told her what we talked about and she made me feel better about my decision to not be completely open with him. But what really pissed me off is that my supervisor told her about the conversation. Are you kidding me?? I know my supervisor has a big mouth but this is ridiculous.

This morning I was talking to my supervisor and she went on and on about how inappropriate it was for the executive director to have that conversation with me without talking to her about it first. She's my supervisor and blah blah blah. I just stared at her. I wanted to say, "and what was really inappropriate was that you went and told the other person right after I left the table." But she just doesn't get it.

I gotta get out of here.

Jesse and I went to Grand Rapids this weekend to see Erica's and Joanna's families. We left Saturday afternoon after I got home from class. I was really sleepy because I had only gotten a couple of hours of sleep the night before. Procrastinating sucks but I finished my papers and turned them in on Saturday! Hanging out with their families is always a blast. The kids are hysterical and so are the parents. We came home yesterday so I could finish my final exam that is due tonight and watch the Survivor finale. I think I was happy with the outcome. Danni's lips really frightened me though. Yuck.

Now I'm at work and trying to avoid doing actual work. I kind of want to take a nap. I'm supposed to meet with someone in a few minutes and I'm kind of hoping he forgets and doesn't show up. I'm so lazy.

procrastination. because i can.

Last time I had a paper due I did it the night before. And I stayed up late. And got up early. Didn't get much sleep. But got a good grade. So now here I am. It's not late yet. But instead of working on my paper I'm blogging. And wondering what to eat for dinner. I'm not even hungry. I hope I get a good grade.

I will leave you with this photo. Jesse took it. There's something wrong with him.

are you there god? it's me, jen.

I'd really like a snow day tomorrow. Going to work just doesn't fit into my schedule. I have a take home final due on Saturday and I'm not done with it. Of course I didn't work on it tonight because Survivor was on. It's snowing really hard right now. So if you could just keep it up for a few more hours then I won't have to go to work and I can stay home to work on my final. So just a few more hours...like 8 or something would be good.
Amen.
Jen.

what in the world is going on in this house??

to do list...

For when I quit my job...

• buy shelves for the downstairs closet where I currently just throw everything and hope it makes it.
• organize the shit in the closet and put the shit on the shelves I bought.
• buy shelves and plastic bins for the basement and organize all the shit down there.
• make cookies with the Pampered Chef cookie press I am hoping to win on Ebay.
• put another coat of paint on the kitchen walls.
• paint the bedroom.
• paint the dining room.
• by the time I do all that shit it will be spring so... get rid of the weed garden in the back yard and plant some vegetables or something.
• clean the screened-in porch really well.
• perfect a homemade bloody mary mix.
• make moonshine next to the dead cat in the garage.
• find the perfect sauerkraut making crock at a Goodwill store near me.
• go to the Hague to get baseball cards from Chris.
• go to Grand Rapids to hang out with Joanna and Erica. A lot.
• audition for the Survivor host position.
• cook dinner.
• get addicted to daytime t.v.
• play XBOX 360.

I have so much to do. I better quit this damn job soon!

regrets

I try to make choices in life that I won't regret. So far, so good. I mean, there's a couple things that I do regret. Like not having sex with this guy in college. I sooooo should have done him but I was afraid of catching an STD from him because I'm pretty sure I'm the only person at the University of Michigan (Ann Arbor, not Dearborn) that he didn't have sex with. That's right. Person. Not just woman. Anyway, I regret it a little bit because I think it would have been fun. And there are ways to be safe. I was such a slut. WAS.

Last week I made a choice that I am now regretting. I hate that. When I went to a training at a computer lab some guy named Ryan had left his hotmail account signed on to instant messenger. Because it was at a county building computer lab I had no idea who he was or how long he had been signed on. I noticed it but just kind of ignored it. Until he got an instant message. From some chick. All she said was "hey" and I sat there for a few minutes debating whether or not I should a) pretend I was Ryan and mess with her, b) tell her Ryan is a dumbass for not signing off his IM account, or c) just sign off. My coworker at the computer next to me noticed the instant message screen and asked me who I was talking to. Since there were only 4 of us in the room, including the trainer, everyone heard her. I told her that someone else was still signed on and I was considering my options. Then the trainer made me get to work so I just signed off. Didn't reply or anything. I really really wish I would have chosen option A. Clearly that would have been the most fun and given me joy. Of course it would have been mean and most likely not very appropriate but isn't life about having fun? At other people's expenses?

Moral of the story...

Sign off that instant messenger before I show up and ruin your life.

dear santa,

I hope you don't read this blog because if you do, you will know that I haven't really been a very good girl this year. Wait, yes I have been a good girl. Just a good girl with a potty mouth. I thought I better write to tell you what I want for Christmas this year.

I want to stop getting old and feeling shitty. This morning I had a headache so I took some Excedrine Migraine. It made my headache stop but because I took it on an empty stomach I threw up. Please make that stop. I'm also tired of this whole A.D.D. thing. At first it was cool and exciting because it explained a lot of my fuck-ups in life. But now I know I have it so I can be done with it now please. It's not cool and exciting anymore. It's medication and side effects and that sucks. Remember in college when I was all messed up and dove for the phone and jacked up my right knee? Yeah. It still hurts sometimes so if you could make that stop that would be awesome.

Are you wanting to kick my ass yet? I know that I have it really really good. I have a home (maybe you could get me some insulation?). Friends and family that are awesome (one particularly good friend even says I should be the next host of Survivor). Health insurance (OOO! Maybe you could get me that for Christmas and then I could quit my job!). A job (Yeah. Part of me does know that I'm lucky to have a job). This is why I have to constantly bitch about the little things.

Thanks, Santa. I'm sorry I have a potty mouth and I'm sorry you don't really exist and I'm sorry that even if you did, most likely you wouldn't be some kind of medicine man that could cure my ailments.

Love,
Jenjen

p.s. I would also like an XBOX 360, and a Bose sound dock thingy for my ipod, and please get Jesse one of those wireless G router things and satellite radio.

i think i might explode.

Here's the thing people, and Jesse, you can stop reading now because you've heard this all before, I am a regular pooper. I poop every day. Usually in the morning. Sometimes in the afternoon. Rarely in the evening. Since taking Strattera I do not poop every day. One of the side effects is constipation. So now I haven't pooped since I don't even remember when. Saturday? Friday? Dear GOD! And now I am afraid to poop because I don't remember the last time I pooped which means it is probably going to hurt. Great. Freaking A.D.D. and drugs and side effects and no poop.

my family.

He loves me!


Barbaro Garbey


Willie Horton



Charlie Hodge


I haven't posted photos of my family in a while. Aren't they cute?

zzzz....

It's been days since I've blogged anything. You would think I have something interesting to say since it's been so long. But you would be wrong. I can't believe the weekend is almost over. I didn't really do much. I got my paper back in class on Saturday. I got 97 out of 100 points. Whew! I was pretty worried that I screwed up on that one. Glad I didn't.

Christmas is coming. We went shopping last night but I didn't really buy much. I love the "Made for TV" store. But I didn't even find anything exciting there. Maybe I just wasn't in the shopping mood.

I'm so boring.