"hi. i'm jen and i have a.d.d."

This is where the people who have a.d.d. with me say, "Hi Jen." and then knowingly purse their lips and nod their heads.

Maybe it's the seasonal affect disorder setting in, maybe it's the running out of meds for 3 days last week, maybe it's the assholes I work with. I'm not sure what it is but damn I feel wretched! I think the Strattera is working. I can read without the words going all over the page. I can write papers for school. But some of the old symptoms are back. I'm ready to quit my job and like I said, it might be the assholes I work with, but what if it's just me? I'm coming up with solutions that don't make much sense but involve removing myself completely from the situation. Like a few years ago when I had this great idea to move to Grand Rapids where I didn't know anybody and ended up taking a $15,000/yr pay cut and couldn't really afford to take that pay cut. So today I have been feeling like quitting my job and moving back in with my parents for a while is a great idea. It's not a great idea. It would be really hard on Jesse and I. My parents probably won't even let me move back in with them. I feel like I really don't want to do this. But part of me, the A.D.D. part, thinks it is a great idea and the only way to make things better. Let's just hope I can get this bullshit under control and not do anything that is going to hurt me or Jesse or anyone else I care about. Emotionally, not physically. I'm a pacifist you know.

This is so exhausting. Can't I just stay in bed until spring?