poser

I love to read the New Yorker. Apparently I am not smart enough to be reading the New Yorker. They use words like "lepidopterist" and I have to look them up on the internet. I hate to read the New Yorker. Assholes.

warning

My contacts are so old and nasty it hurts to wear them. I wore my glasses today. They are about 5 years old and are 3 or 4 prescriptions behind. I can definitely see better with them than without them. But not as well as I thought I could. I usually just wear them at night for reading or watching tv in bed after taking my contacts out. This morning I almost got run over by a big ass semi. That could have been because I wasn't paying attention and had to slam on my brakes to merge into the other lane because I was about to miss my exit. But I definitely am not seeing as well as usual. So if you are planning on traveling east on I-94 between Ypsilanti and Detroit tonight around 5ish, you might want to rethink your plans. Just because I can't see very well doesn't mean I can slow down. I hope it doesn't rain or snow.

"hi. i'm jen and i have a.d.d."

This is where the people who have a.d.d. with me say, "Hi Jen." and then knowingly purse their lips and nod their heads.

Maybe it's the seasonal affect disorder setting in, maybe it's the running out of meds for 3 days last week, maybe it's the assholes I work with. I'm not sure what it is but damn I feel wretched! I think the Strattera is working. I can read without the words going all over the page. I can write papers for school. But some of the old symptoms are back. I'm ready to quit my job and like I said, it might be the assholes I work with, but what if it's just me? I'm coming up with solutions that don't make much sense but involve removing myself completely from the situation. Like a few years ago when I had this great idea to move to Grand Rapids where I didn't know anybody and ended up taking a $15,000/yr pay cut and couldn't really afford to take that pay cut. So today I have been feeling like quitting my job and moving back in with my parents for a while is a great idea. It's not a great idea. It would be really hard on Jesse and I. My parents probably won't even let me move back in with them. I feel like I really don't want to do this. But part of me, the A.D.D. part, thinks it is a great idea and the only way to make things better. Let's just hope I can get this bullshit under control and not do anything that is going to hurt me or Jesse or anyone else I care about. Emotionally, not physically. I'm a pacifist you know.

This is so exhausting. Can't I just stay in bed until spring?

honk if you need help.

This morning at approximately 4AM I awoke to the sound of a car horn. At first I thought it was a car alarm. Then Jesse told me it wasn't an alarm and that someone was sitting in a car in front of the house across the street honking their horn. "How rude!" I thought as I tried to go back to sleep. The honking continued. For a long time. I was super pissed that someone thought it was a good idea to sit and honk their horn at that ungodly hour. Jesse got up and called the police and then called our security company that has the dude that patrols the neighborhood. Finally the honking stopped and because I am super nosey, I ran to the window to see whether the car left or what happened. The police were there and then an ambulance showed up. The ambulance left and a woman got out of the car. I have no idea what happened but she was obviously trying to get help by honking her horn and waking up the entire neighborhood. Nobody felt safe enough to go outside and find out what the problem was. I considered it but thought it wouldn't be a good idea. Jesse said he also considered it and ruled it out. I don't know what happened to her. The front of her car was smashed up so maybe someone ran into her and took off. She obviously didn't have a cell phone to call the police or I would hope she would have called instead of honking her horn. I was glad the ambulance left because I assume that meant she was not hurt. It took me a long time to fall back asleep. And when I did I had messed up dreams. And the cats were hogging the bed. So on my way to work this morning I was very very sleepy. I realized my blinks were getting longer and longer. Falling asleep on the way to work is not a great way to start the week. Ugh.

it's all wrong.

I should have quit my job and then taken classes. And then maybe I wouldn't be starting to write a paper today that is due tomorrow. And then maybe my boyfriend wouldn't have to do all the laundry and make the bed. And then maybe the hardwood floors would be swept. And then maybe the kitchen floor would be mopped and those nasty spots wouldn't still be there. And then maybe the sidewalk would have gotten shoveled and not turned into a sheet of ice (I think it melted today...whew, we can't afford a law suit!). And then maybe I would get the reading for my other class done in a timely manner and would show up to class prepared for once. And then maybe I could have been irresponsibly drunk two nights in a row instead of saying 'no thanks' last night because I knew I had to write a paper today. And then maybe I would have had more patience with the creepy man I'll call "Dave" at the bar last night.

Let's talk about "Dave" for a second. We went to the Lager House last night. We weren't feeling especially rambunctious because we were all hungover. It was nice to just hang out with the people we knew and chill. Talk and laugh about the night before. Admire one another's pearl necklaces. Chill. But nooooooooooOOOooooo. "Dave" saw us talking to the band and decided that since he also knows the band but not anyone else at the bar, he would be our new best friend. Unfortunately, we were all hungover and were not looking to make nice-nice with new guy "Dave." Or "Dave's" belly that touched us all because he stood uncomfortably close to each one of us at some point during the night. It would have been easier to accept "Dave" into our little group of 5 if "Dave" had some sort of social skills. Any sort of social skills. Instead, conversations went like this:

"Dave": So Jess, what do you do?
Me: (my name isn't Jess so I didn't say anything)
Kristin: Her name is Jen, not Jess.
"Dave": (laughing hysterically) Oh I'm so sorry, JENNNNN. I'm so bad with names. So Jen, what do you do?
Me: I'm a social worker.
"Dave": Ohhhhhh.
Me: (my name is Jen but I still didn't say anything)
...the end...

and another example of conversation fun...

"Dave": So Jesse, Kristin tells me you lived in Germany.
Jesse: Yup.
"Dave": Really? I lived in Belgium.
Jesse: (his name is Jesse but I don't think he really said anything)
"Dave": Where did you live in Germany?
Jesse: Munich
"Dave": What did you do there?
Jesse: Worked for BMW.
"Dave": Ohhhhh...
There might have been more to their conversation but it was really loud and I was laughing kind of hard so could have missed some of it. And then all conversation turned to kicking Kristin's ass for being the nice one and telling "Dave" stuff so he could use it against Jesse.

Okay so in "Dave's" defense, we weren't really trying to be friends with him. And he was trying really really really REALLY hard. But I think we all thought that after 2 or 3 or 29 conversations like this, he might give up trying. But he didn't. And we are assholes. Do you think I am the ringleader of the assholes? Probably. But "Dave" breathed really hard when he talked. On all of us. The whole situation was just bad. But the rock and roll was as kick ass as it gets and I was home by 1 a.m. and I was sober.

So if I had been a stay-at-home person, I might have had a little more patience with "Dave" and not been so bitchy. Or maybe it would have been worse because I would have drank more the night before due to building up a tolerance to alcohol since there is nothing that says a stay-at-home person can't have a yummy bloody mary for lunch. I mean at lunch.

I wish I could just pretend this blog was my paper and turn it in. I hate APA style. It will be the death of me. If my job doesn't kill me first.

Road trip!!

'Tis the season of receiving holiday cards addressed to the people who lived in this house before us. A little annoying, yes. But also the source of much laughter. Friday the family received a piece of mail from a family that lives in Bumpass, VA. I'll be hand-returning the letter just so I can say I have been to BumpAss.

sick day.

Overboard is on TV and I can't help but watch it. It's a certain kind of sickness. Rejoice that you don't have it.

I also have a little bit of a sickness called hangover. Last night Jesse and I went to Joel's and Amanda's Dirty Pickle Party. I was supposed to be the designated driver but that didn't work out so well. On the way to the party I explained to Jesse that I am capable of being responsible and not drinking myself into a stupor. So I was wrong. But the party was a blast. Julie was there and it was soooo fun to see her! The New Kids on the Block were also there and were made into some awesome art.

It's special. I know. At 4 a.m. Joel suggested we stay at their house so we passed out in what was supposed to be Julie's room. This next photo pretty much sums up the evening. Except I didn't drink any of that. I didn't get a photo of all the empty wine bottles.

We are going to the Lager House tonight to see some rock and roll Hard Lessons style. I took a nap this afternoon and am kind of working on my paper that is due on Monday. I might have to take another nap before we go to the bar.

Thanksgiving was all sorts of fun. I actually like my family so it wasn't too bad. Grand Rapids is a long way away but it was good to see everyone and catch up.

gobble gobble

Ah yes, the holidays are officially here. Let the eating begin. It is 8:30 in the fucking morning and I have been up for an hour making food. Happy holidays. I was supposed to make two pans of the same thing because there will be so many people at Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah. I just made one. I was peeling sweet potatoes forever last night and that was just for one recipe. So I figured it's not going to be that good anyway so one will be plenty. In an hour or so Jesse and I will be driving across the cold, snowy, icy state of Michigan to hang out with my family. I like my family so it's okay. But the approximately 6 hours we will spend in the car today isn't okay. It sucks. According to WDET, the roads are icy and there are accidents everywhere. And it didn't really snow enough to be pretty. It just looks cold.

Happy Thanksgiving!

This morning I was a little early getting to Ypsilanti because I was able to go about 90 m.p.h. on the freeway. I decided to stop at the ATM and get some money so I could get some Tim Horton's coffee for me and some hot chocolate for my coworker. Imagine my surprise when I pulled up to the ATM and went digging around for my wallet in my purse and it wasn't there. It wasn't there because it is sitting on the coffee table at home. It's sitting on the coffee table at home because I paid for something on the internet last night and got my credit card out of my wallet and never put my wallet back. Ooops.

It's a sign of a bad day. I know it is.

Quitting my job and not having health insurance is going to suck. But I'm really wondering how valuable the health insurance is in the first place. As you all know, I am taking Strattera for A.D.D. My doctor prescribed 63 pills for me for one month because I take two each day. With Strattera I have to take it every day in order for it to work. When I got the prescription filled a few weeks ago I was pissed because they only gave me half the prescription. I just figured it was my health insurance company's way of screwing me out of two $25 co-pays each month. When I went to get the refill on Sunday I found out that it was the health insurance company's way of screwing me out of the correct amount of medication. Apparently my health insurance has decided they will only pay for 34 pills each month instead of 63. That's really helpful, assholes. When I explained that my doctor had prescribed two a day the health insurance lady told me that I really should only be taking one. What? I called my doctor's office yesterday to tell them to call in an override or something and they were supposed to call me back. They didn't. So I called them again today to remind them that I haven't had any of this medication since Sunday and I am dizzy and sick to my stomach and someone needs to call me yesterday goddammit! I was nicer than that because I would like to receive a phone call sometime today. But now, even if they call and say I can go get more medication I won't be able to because my wallet is on the coffee table in another zip code.

It's a bad day.

I had to call the vet today to find out the results of the pee test they did on my cat. She has a bad urinary tract infection. As a matter of fact, there were too many red blood cells in her pee to count. I have to go pick up medication for her. And the doctor wants her to eat special food. But when I asked about the special food she is already on for the food allergy they weren't sure what to do. I asked them to please find out by the time I come in tonight to get the medication and the more special food. This cat is a special cat. And by 'special' I mean 'really annoying.' She cries all the time until Jesse or I pick her up. She wakes us up in the night by playing with the window blinds or by licking my nose. But now I feel bad that she hasn't felt well for maybe a long time and I didn't do anything about it because I just thought she was a special cat.

Can I go home now? Today sucks.

Last week was a pretty bad one in the world of work. On Thursday I had a meeting with my supervisor and the program director and ended up losing my mind on the program director. I pretty much told her what I thought of her and the way she does things and it wasn't nice. And I was sobbing and really upset. I was very close to quitting and just walking out forever. But I didn't do that. Instead I've been thinking more rationally about quitting. Can we afford it? What will I do for health insurance? Will I have to cook every day? These are the things that I must consider. The other side of things is, how much more of this bullshit can I take at work? I kind of feel like I have hit bottom. Or some kind of breaking point. The worst part is that no matter how shitty I feel, it's my clients that are getting screwed. I am sure that I don't do a very good job as a case manager. It isn't my strong point. Never has been, never will be. But I have been put in this position and have done my best. But it's not enough. Is it fair that I stay in a job I hate and know I'm not good at just to have health insurance when people are homeless because of it? It's not right. Oh shit. If I quit my job, what will I blog about? Dust bunnies? Casseroles? The cute things our cats do? Hmmm...this could be fun!

pass the baby carrots, please.

Next week is Thanksgiving. My aunt called me and asked me to bring a dish to pass. What? Unfortunately she left a voicemail and I didn't get the chance to remind her that only grownups have to bring a dish to pass. And in my family you are not a grownup until you breed. Which I have not done. So I will not be taking a dish to pass. Unless, like my cousin suggested, I take baby carrots. If I take baby carrots would I be expected to take them out of the bag they come in and put them on a plate or other serving dish? This is too hard. I'm just supposed to show up, eat turkey and watch the Lions play football. Bring a dish to pass. It's just not Thanksgiving if I have to worry about killing the entire family with the dish I bring to pass. I'll bring a dish to pass. But first I have to test it on Jesse. If he doesn't die then I will try to make the dish to pass again to bring to Thanksgiving. One of my favorite Thanksgivings was the one I spent at the Pontiac Silverdome with my friend, Ron. Instead of bringing a dish to pass with my family, I got Ron to go to the game with me. I had never been to a Lions game before and thought Thanksgiving would be the perfect time to go. We had a blast! My mom had made a bunch of extra dishes to pass so Ron and I could have our own little Thanksgiving dinner at his house after the game. I missed my family. But now I miss Ron. He got married and his wife had a baby and I'm sure he now has to take a dish to pass to his family Thanksgiving.

rehab

I'm beginning to feel a little baseball withdrawal. I'm looking at the calendar longing for spring training. It doesn't help that it is snowing and is really cold outside. Some teams are releasing their spring training schedules. The Tigers haven't released their schedule yet but I have taken it upon myself to piece together their schedule by looking at other schedules. Sad, isn't it? This is what I need to get me through the day. At least the other withdrawal symptoms haven't started yet. You know, the trembling, sweats, chest pains.

One time I took a homeless guy to the emergency room because he wanted to stop drinking and was pretty sure if he stopped on his own he would die. This guy told me he had to drink a couple beers before he felt well enough to eat a meal. I asked what size beers. He said 40 oz. Oh. Anyway, during the check-in process at the hospital the woman asked him if he had any other health issues that brought him to the emergency room. I heard him say "I have a bad tooth ache." and I turned to look at him and he was standing there with his false teeth in one hand, pointing to them with his other hand and he had the biggest goofiest grin on his face I have ever seen. I started to laugh and then he started to laugh and because he was drunk off his ass, he almost fell over laughing. The woman asking the questions didn't laugh. I spent 12 hours (6 p.m to 6 a.m.) with him in the waiting room. Unfortunately he stopped laughing and by about the 3rd hour he was threatening to walk out. He swore at me and threatened me and begged me to take him home. I told him he was free to leave but I wasn't giving him a ride anywhere. He hung in there and ended up being seen by a doctor who told him he didn't need medical detox. The rehab told him he couldn't go there because he had to have medical detox. What was he supposed to do? No treatment because he needed medical detox. No medical detox was available. I asked the doctor what would have happened if the man had insurance other than Medicaid. He looked at me and said he probably would have admitted him for medical detox. After a long night of this man hating me for not taking him home, I ended up having to take him home. Where he continued to drink and ended up having to leave the shelter. Last I heard he had sobered up long enough to get a job and find housing. But now he's drinking again and is about to be homeless.

This is why I need baseball.

feedback.

The agency I work for is moving toward a policy of giving and receiving feedback to one another on a regular basis. This pretty much means that instead of talking about each other behind our backs, we'll say it to each other's faces. The program director has high expectations for her staff that she does not hold for herself. For example, I am expected to check my email/voicemail on a regular basis. She is not. We were supposed to meet this morning but I had to cancel. I sent an the program director an email, my supervisor sent the program director an email and also left a voicemail. The program director showed up this morning for the meeting.

Program Director: We're not meeting this morning?
Me: You got two emails and a voicemail saying the meeting needs to be rescheduled.
PD: Oh I wasn't in the office so I didn't check my voicemail or my email.
Me: I don't know what to tell you.
PD: Nobody paged me.
Me: I stopped paging you because I don't get called back.
PD: Well someone could have tried.
Me: We thought two emails and a voicemail would be enough.
PD: I need to give you some feedback. I experience your tone as if you think this is my fault.
Me: Oh. I apologize that you experience my tone that way. My tone is borne out of frustration that this happens a lot.
PD: Well. I do the best that I can.
Me: Don't we all. (and then for added drama) Don't we all...

Then after she left I laughed my ass off. See now, wasn't that feedback effective?

ooops.

I make typos and I don't proofread. But I do not, however, paste my typos on a bus. This morning I was behind a city bus that had an advertisement for Wayne County Community College's Vetinary Technology Program. What's a vetinary? I'm not sure. I couldn't find it on their website but as you can see, I did find their Veterinary Technology program.

I had a busy night in dreamland last night. First I went shopping and parallel parked my car. I got really mad at something and beat the shit out of the parking meter. Completely smashed it to pieces. Then I moved my car and parked somewhere else. I went shopping and when I came out there was a note on the broken parking meter that read, "We know who you are. You broke the parking meter and so we towed your car. -the police" I went to find my car and sure enough, it was gone. I called my parents' house and my ex-coworker answered the phone, 'hello this is the housekeeper.' I asked to speak with my grandma and she put her on the phone. My grandma has been dead for a few years. I asked my grandma to come pick me up because I broke the parking meter. She said she'd send the housekeeper. Then I was at church camp doing shots of really good vodka with Joel. We were doing shots of vodka because we were going to go hunt for the really big elephants that were hanging around the swamp.

This new medication really messes with my dreams. I have a ton of really strange dreams and I remember so much of them. Or maybe I've always had strange dreams but just didn't remember them. Either way I wake up not feeling very rested because I've been so busy in my sleep.

random. nothing.

Not one exciting thing happened this weekend. Not one thing. I went to class yesterday. I studied today. Jesse put plastic over the windows today. He actually worked his ass off this weekend. He raked leaves and cut the grass yesterday. And what did I do? Um. I dusted the coffee table and end tables. I read a few chapters in a textbook about drugs. I apologize for my so boring life. Next weekend will be busy. This week will suck because I have to write a paper. Tomorrow I have to go to work. Meetings and homeless people. It is super windy in Detroit. It is so cold in my house that I am wearing the hood on my sweatshirt. I don't mind. I'll get used to it eventually. Last night we watched the Wizard of Oz. Then I watched episodes of Laguna Beach on MTV while Jesse slept. I think he was sleeping. This morning Jesse got up at 7:30 or something like that and I told him I'd be up soon. Then I fell back asleep until 9. I had dreams about old boyfriends and rollercoaster rides. And water rides.

Is it spring yet? Can I go to a baseball game now?

My tummy hurts. And my head hurts. And the only way I am comfortable is when I am laying on my office floor. This happened a few weeks ago and I hurried home because I was sure I was dying. Then after I ate lunch I felt okay. I'm such a drama queen. I think this happens when I take Strattera on an empty stomach. I took it and then I ate a cookie. Yum! But I guess it didn't work. Yesterday I ate a big ol' bowl of Lucky Charms for breakfast but this morning there was no time. I slept as late as possible this morning. And it was good, deep sleep. So deep, in fact, Jesse reports I ripped a big ol' fart and didn't even wake up. Yes friends, I am a sleep-farter. Usually I wake myself up with my sleep-farts, which is okay because I giggle and look over to make sure Jesse heard so he can giggle too (he usually sleeps through them) and then go back to sleep and dream of my next fun sleep-fart.

I hope I feel better soon. It's hard to get work done while lying on the floor trying not to puke.

i *heart* my job!

Returning to work after vacation always sucks. I've been in the office for almost 3 hours now. Not one person has asked me how my vacation was. I found out that the coworker I liked got fired. I received an email saying I have a November 15 deadline to get a bunch of information into a database, which might happen by next November 15. Someone turned the lights in my office off and then walked away without ever asking if I was up here. I was told I will do an intake for a new family on Friday at noon. 2 families who moved into their own apartments a couple months ago received eviction notices because they haven't paid rent.

When is my next vacation?

i'm home!!

We were only gone for a few days but it felt like a really long time. So nice to be home! And I'm super happy that I took today off of work as an extra "vacation recovery" day. When we got home last night the cable wasn't working right and when I came downstairs this morning it still wasn't working. I called Comcast and they said someone would be here to fix it before 9 p.m. I called at 9:30 this morning. Assholes. So I ran to the store and bought some groceries and hurried home. My mom always told me not to shop on an empty stomach but this morning I didn't really have an option. I wanted to go before the cable fix-it people got here. And I went with a list so I figured I would be okay. I was wrong. I came home with horseradish cheese, Lucky Charms, and a special yummy treat for Jesse. Of course I got all the stuff on the list too. What the hell am I going to do with horseradish cheese and Lucky Charms?

But enough about today. Let's talk trip. We flew into Minneapolis early Friday morning. Lucky for us the hotel wasn't completely booked and let us check in very very early. We laid around and tried to nap but I suck at napping so we decided to go and check out the town. First we found the wedding site, a lovely country club in Shakopee. As we were driving down the road Jesse spotted rollercoasters in the distance. Wha? Huh? Nobody told me Minnesota has rollercoasters! We didn't find them. We did, however, find the original baseball hall of fame.



At first we thought it was just a store with Vikings and Twins gear. But then I saw a handwritten sign that said "This way to the Museum" over a dark doorway. The two people working there were eating lunch out of styrofoam take-out containers. I asked if the museum was open. The man stood and said he would be happy to turn the lights on for us. We went into a wood-paneled room covered with 8x10 photographs of the owner and his family with famous people. Famous people like Florence Henderson...



And Dolly Parton...



And an Elvis Presley corner...



Can you believe it was free admission?

We decided to find the Museum of Questionable Medical Devices that was shown on our map. Unfortunately, we were not able to find the stupid thing. We did, however, find a lovely restaurant that served the most wonderful bloody mary.



A giant pickle. A button. And can you see the teeny tiny beer behind the cocktail? In Minnesota you get a free little beer chaser with your bloody mary. It wasn't just this place that gave you a free little beer. We tested it at several places. I can't believe nobody told me this about Minnesota. I would have moved there a long time ago.

The view across the street from the restaurant was pretty cool.



Let's see...What else did we do. I can't remember when we did what anymore. So let's just pretend we had a really busy day. But really all this stuff took place sometime on Friday or Saturday or Sunday.

We went to see the park where the St. Paul Saints play. We found the outdoor sculpture park. Julie had told me about the Claes Oldenburg sculpture. It was very cool. But this is my favorite one. It is called Goddess With The Golden Thighs, by Reuben Nakian. Kind of dirty. Beautiful.



We went to the Minneapolis Institute of Arts. I almost didn't stay when I read this sign.



How dare they tell me I can't bring my gun to the art museum?

The wedding was beautiful. I haven't seen the bride in years. I haven't seen her family in more years. I love friends that even when you haven't kept in close contact, when you see them again, it's like you just hung out yesterday. Everything was so comfortable. No sizing each other up, just pure joy at being in one another's company again. Her family is amazing. When I was in college they were like my second family. And they might have even been more fun than my original family! There aren't many people I would have a matching tattoo with.



Okay this is getting long.

While having brunch with Jesse's friend from high school, we mentioned our search for the Museum of Questionable Medical Devices. They said it had been moved to the Science Museum. So of course we went. My favorite questionable medical device...



That's right, a Prostate Gland Warmer from 1925. I don't know if you can read the little sign or not but it says something about sticking something up someone's butt and then something and then something and then...awesome!

And there was a fossilized poop collection.



So it was a great trip. We hope to go back next summer to catch a couple baseball games. I'm sure I'll take more photos then.

so much to say. so little time.

I think I'm officially on vacation. Jesse and I fly to Minneapolis tomorrow morning. Early morning. We are staying at my parents' house tonight and they'll take us to the airport. Luckily they finally ditched their phone line modem and got a cable modem so I can write this little blog.

Sometime when I get time I want to write about paying my respects to Rosa Parks. And my conversation with the watch lady at Marshall Fields. And hopefully something fun(ny) will happen this weekend so I can write about that too.

But now I have to go to sleep. I think we are leaving for the airport at 6 a.m. Yikes!! Good night! Have a great weekend!! If you know of anything fun to do in Minneapolis, call me immediately. Joanna, I forgot to ask you when I talked to you earlier!

and the oscar goes to....me!

My Supervisor: This morning I told my supervisor that I'm looking for a new job.
Me: Really? That was a brave thing to do.
S: Yeah I just told her that I am looking and as soon as something comes up I will be gone.
Me: Wow. What did she say?
S: Nothing. But I know she was thinking about all the changes she will make and reorganizing. I just told her that she doesn't want someone who is a good supervisor and good at social work, she wants someone to facilitate meetings.
Me: ...
S: Yup. So she's the one that is going to lose out on a great social worker. Oh well.
Me: ...

I'm not sure how I didn't bust out laughing. But I'm pretty sure my eyes were bugging out of my head. I just couldn't say anything. So I sat there and nodded my head. Again and again. And again.

One of my best friends from college is getting married on Saturday. Jesse and I are heading to Minneapolis for the wedding. Since I wear jeans and tshirts/sweatshirts to work every day I have no nice clothes to wear to a wedding. Make that, "had" no nice clothes. That's right my friends, I went to the mall. I paid waaaaay too much for a pretty skirt and sweater. And because of the way the sweater is cut, I had to go buy a bra. I can't stop writing about my boobies. Anyway, I went to a department store and asked the nice woman if she had any suggestions for something that would push the girls up, yet wouldn't show with a low cut sweater. She showed me one and I went and tried it on. It worked! So I walked up to the counter to pay and she asked me how it was. Before I knew what was happening I said, "boobylicious." Jesus. This is what happens to me when I shop. I can't go to the mall ever again. Ever. Except I forgot to buy pantyhose. Shit.

i'm confused.

This morning on the way to work as I was heading west on I-94, I passed what I thought was Rosa Parks heading east on I-94. There were a million cops on motorcycles with their lights flashing, cop cars, a couple dark vans and then a big semi that I assumed carried her. But now I see that she arrived in Detroit last night. What the hell did I see? Who else would get a million cops and block traffic on a major interstate during rush hour? I'm also assuming who/whatever it is was coming from the airport into the city. Anyone?