apology

I'm thinking of sticking an apology letter in my mailbox. Maybe when I called and ratted out my lazy ass mail carrier she got in trouble. Now she is in retaliation mode and stole my People magazine. I don't know for sure that she stole it. But it's the only thing I can figure out. Here's a little timeline of events:
Wednesday - she sucks and doesn't deliver my package (teehee) in the proper manner. I call and bitch.
Friday - my People magazine doesn't show up like it's supposed to.

See? It all makes sense. Little does she know, I have this thing called the 'internet' at work and I contacted People magazine to tell them I didn't receive the last one and they will send out a new one right away. She will not win!!

So. That apology letter that I was thinking of writing. I changed my mind.

some might say i'm only funny when i'm pissed.

The other day I went bra shopping. Since my boobies have been the same size since I got them (grew them?) I generally go to the bra section, pick out one that looks comfortable, find the correct size, pay and go. Trying bras on is not a fun thing so I avoid it. When I got my new purchase home I sadly realized that since I have lost some weight (thank you Ritalin), my boobies have shrunk. My pretty new bra is a little big. I was complaining to Jesse, because that is what I do.

Me: my boobies shrunk. Well at least I only paid $13 for the bra. And when I gain weight they'll come back.
Jesse: Yeah or when you get implants.
Me: Yup.
Jesse: Or when you get pregnant.
Me & Jesse: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA yeah right.

i'm pissed.

I know yesterday I might have mentioned that I shouldn't talk about work on my blog. But that was yesterday. Today I am home because I called in sick to work even though technically, I am not physically ill. I am, however, sick of the bullshit at my office. That has to be good enough. So I'm sitting around today watching tv, reading for school and catching up on some funny blogs on the internet. I'm sitting on the living room couch that is in front of the large living room windows. Our mailbox is on our house, about 10 feet from where I am sitting, but of course it is outside. A few minutes ago I heard the mail carrier close the mailbox and saw her walk away. She doesn't come on our porch, she can reach the mailbox from the side of the porch. About one minute after the mail carrier left I went out to get the mail. Imagine my surprise when I found a little "Sorry We Missed You! We ReDeliver for You" slip of paper. Sorry you missed me, my ASSHOLE! I immediately called the post office to bitch about my lazy mail carrier that can't even walk up 6 porch steps to ring the doorbell and wait 5 seconds for me to walk to the door to get my package. The woman that took my call didn't really seem to care. That's it. I am boycotting the USPS. At least until my next shopping spree at www.shopgoodwill.org. That's right. Laugh now. But you may be the next recipient of one of my many wonderful finds.

New Kids on the Block trading cards, anyone?

work

I think work is making me sick. Physically ill. This morning I felt fine. Went to work. Was actually doing work when around 10 I started to feel sick to my stomach. By 10:30 I was laying on the floor trying to not puke and my stomach hurt really badly. It felt like someone had reached inside me and was squeezing my stomach as hard as they could. Then my back started to hurt, but not like it hurt when I hurt it on Friday. I decided to leave work and try to make it home. I think I had a fever because I was freezing and it really wasn't that cold in my car with the heat turned on full blast. I got home and laid in bed for a while. Then I made soup for lunch and was able to eat it all. Then I felt better. And now I'm fine. Very odd. I was sure I was dying. Laying on the floor at work sucks. Especially since our cleaning company doesn't know how to clean.

While I was home this afternoon I was reading this woman's blog and she actually got fired for what she had written in her blog about her job and the people she worked with. It was creepy because she didn't put in any identifying information. No names, no locations, nothing. It made me think that maybe I shouldn't write so much bad shit about my coworkers and the agency I work for. But I probably don't have anything to worry about since half the people I work with don't even know how to check their voicemail, let alone surf that thing called 'the internet.'

Game 3 of the World Series is on right now. Jesse says he doesn't care who wins. I'm hoping the White Sox win it in 6. Time to score the game...

it reminds me of...

I emailed Carol with my warm and fuzzy Def Leppard memories. She emailed me back with a bunch of memories that I should remember. But don't really. Now I have to email her back and admit that I have no idea what she is talking about. I'm old. She's not. Yikes!

Tonight Jesse and I ate dinner at Jacoby's. They had spicy peanuts on the table. We were eating them when the waitress came and left a couple moist towelettes for us. She said to be sure to wipe our hands when we were done and to not touch our eyes because it would sting. One time my friend's boyfriend made dinner for them and it involved cutting jalapenos. Later that night they were getting all amorous and it was all fun and games until she felt a strange burning sensation "down there." That's right. It started to burn and burn and felt like her kootchie was on fire and I had to yell "HELP! HELP!! MY CROTCH IS ON FIRE!! GET AWAY FROM ME!! DON'T EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!!!!" A moist towelette would have come in handy for my friend.

i'm smart again.

I just checked online and I got an A+ on the paper I wrote about the AA meeting. Oh yeah. This is the first professor who has actually used the online system for announcements and grades and shit. It's very cool and I wish the other professors would use it. Well, maybe it's not 'cool' but it is convenient. I'm trying to not be such a big dork. It's not working.

mullet nation

Has anyone ever been to a Cheap Trick and Def Leppard concert? Jesse and I saw them at the Palace last night and it was amazing. It was the second time I've seen Cheap Trick and the first time seeing Def Leppard. The crowd wasn't as into Cheap Trick as I thought they would be. As I wanted them to be. But they were fun to watch and I just love bands that have been around forever. Then when Def Leppard came on stage I was in awe. Could this be the same band that I listened to when I was in 4th grade? Ah yes I remember Carol and I trying to decide what our favorite song was on Pyromania. We both came up with Photograph, by the way. I think I had a smile on my face for the whole show. When I was little I never would have guessed that I'd be seeing Def Leppard in concert for the first time when I was 31 years old. Ha!

The music was definitely the highlight of the evening. People watching was also at a premium. I've never seen such a huge crowd of all white people. I mean, you would think I'd be used to being the only minority in the room but usually there's a few. Last night I think I saw 2 black people (I saw more than that but most were staff) and 2 Asian men and that was it. I was really uncomfortable but I'm not sure why since I should be used to that by now! Anyhoo...three boys and their mom (maybe? I'm not sure but I think she was one of the boys' mom) sat in front of us. The boys were skinny with long greasy hair and teeny tiny fuzzy moustaches on their faces. They wore bad ass black concert t-shirts, I believe a couple had Def Leppard and my favorite young boy had on a Black Sabbath t-shirt. These were the boys that were made fun of when I was in high school. I cannot believe they are still around. I imagine they are still the boys that are made fun of. Easy targets but I still couldn't help myself. They were so funny! The mom was just as funny with her 80's hairdo and tight black jeans. And then the other people in front of us were these 4 women who apparently were not aware that pants come in different sizes, more specifically, BIGGER sizes. It was muffin top central and they insisted on standing up and shaking their asses on a regular basis. There was one skinny one. I heard her tell the people sitting next to us that she has 4 kids. During the concert she took off her baggy t-shirt and I could tell she had 4 kids. She was skinny everywhere except for the big ol' pot belly that was busting out of the top of her pants and the bottom of the little tank top she was wearing. It was very strange. People. Get clothes that fit. Please. Anyway, you can probably imagine the mullets that were present last night. Amazing. Wonderful. I was in heaven. Too bad I didn't have my camera.

pain

My back still hurts. I went to class today so sitting in an awful desk for 2 1/2 hours probably didn't help. But now I am wearing one of those oh so sexy icy hot patch things and it feels strangely painful and good. Sick. Actually, I'm wearing two. Both on my back you sickos.

Today I saw a Jaguar station wagon. And it looked new. Wha? Huh?

good night. bad night.

Last night I had to do a presentation for work at 8:30. Jesse drove to Ann Arbor to have dinner with me at Grizzly Peak...YUM! We both parked in a pay lot by the restaurant. After dinner we decided to head to Target to pick up some much needed household items (they have the best cottonballs to exfoliate my ugly mug!). He pulled out of the lot ahead of me. When I got up to the little toll booth I gave the guy my ticket and he said the car ahead of me already paid for my parking. Awwww... he's so sweet!

Just for that, I bought him a Whitesnake CD. I also bought a Kanye West CD for myself. When I was standing in line at Best Buy a checkout guy said, "are you paying with a debit or credit card?" and started to point to his line with nobody waiting. I started to say "debit card" when I decided to say "yes" and it came out sounding like, "duh-yes." He looked at me and said, "yes?" and so I had to explain that I started to say debit card and then said yes and that no, I am not retarded. He laughed. Then he looked at the CDs I was purchasing. Here I go again on my own...

I finally got home from work at 9:30. I was tired but ready to sit down and watch Survivor. When Jesse got home he turned on cucci (homegrown version of TiVo) and announced that it didn't record. Ha ha I thought. He wasn't kidding. But I couldn't be mad at him! He paid for my parking! Now he will be finding it on the internet and downloading it.

I'm home this afternoon because I am getting old and this morning I did something to my back while I was closing the shower curtain in the shower. My back hurts so bad I can hardly sit or stand so I think I'll just lay around and blog. And read blogs. I did buy a heating pad. Getting old is such fun.

things that annoy me a lot today.

• cars that drive 60 mph in the passing lane.
• cars that drive 80 mph behind me when I am behind a car that is going 60 mph in the passing lane. Don't make me brake check your ass!
• Michigan Radio's fall fund drive. I just made my membership pledge. Why are you still asking me for money?? Just shut up and let me listen to the BBC!! I don't even enjoy the BBC that much but it's much better than listening to people beg for money on the radio.
• 12 hour day at work. It's only just begun and I'm already crabby.
• cold weather. I hate wearing socks. But if I don't wear socks then my feet get cold.
• cold feet.

oh shit!

This summer I had a class with a conspiracy theorist and I thought he was full of shit. He talked about printers that printed secret codes and I thought he was crazy silly. Imagine my shock and dismay when I read this. I feel like I need to find the man from my class and apologize for thinking he was crazy. But I'm too lazy.

OH OH i forgot!

Also in supervision today...

supervisor: I think this agency needs a plan in place for the flu. Don't you?
me: what do you mean?
supervisor: that bird flu. Don't you think we should have a plan in place for when it gets here?
me: gets to the agency?
supervisor: yes. I heard there aren't enough vaccines and we should have a plan in place to stop it from spreading.
me: ... well ... um ... from what I've heard I don't think we need to be all that concerned. But I just listen to NPR so maybe it's not a good source.
supervisor: well from what I've heard we should be prepared. Maybe they're just trying to scare us. But the president made a speech about it. I just don't know.
me: ... ... ... (is this really my life?)

supervision today.

me: Tomorrow I am going to a meeting at 8:30 P.M to talk about the program.
Supervisor: Really? Wow that's nice of you. Is someone making you do it?
me: The development director asked me to help her out so I agreed.
S: Well if you want to come over to my house for a while between work and the meeting that's fine.
me: ....
S: You can stop by for a snack or something.
me: ...
me: ...
me: ... (trying to think of what to say)
me: ... (maybe you should stop smoking crack at work...?)
me: ... (HELL no you nut job...?)
me: thanks but I think I'll stay at work and get some of the reports done.

confession

This morning on my way to work I was feeling kind of down. The sky was kind of gray. I was driving to work. There really wasn't anything to feel good about. And then it happened. I was listening to 93.1, they play everything, and Waterloo by Abba came on and I smiled inside. Then because I smiled inside I started to crack up. I'm not sure what is wrong with me but for some strange reason, Abba brightened my day. Someone shoot me!

i'd like to take a moment to bitch.

We have a minivan at work that we use to drive the families around in. There are 7 of us who can use the van so we have a calendar where we sign up to use the van. Last week I wrote my name on the calendar for today because I have to take a family to apply for social security cards. Apparently my supervisor left my coworker a message this morning telling her she needs to take someone to work today and will need the van from 11 to 1. I'm pissed because my supervisor knows there is a sign out sheet and it's not like she doesn't have her own car to take this person to work. So now I have to use my car when I was the one that followed the procedure and signed out the van. What's the point of having a sign out sheet? Apparently there isn't one. I knew I should have stayed home again today.

appliances.

The installation dudes came and put in the new microwave. I'm glad they did it because the people that lived here before us apparently did one hell of a job installing the old one. It looks nice and I just microwaved pizza for lunch. Yum!

It's a good day to stay home from work and do homework! When I stay home from work nothing funny happens though. Oh wait. Nothing funny happens when I go to work.

Can you tell in this photo that we aren't going to be able to open the oven door all the way? Thank God I don't bake! In the oven. Although Jesse and I bought some yummy looking Cinnabon muffin mix thingies at Costco yesterday. Now I need to buy bigger muffin tins. Why can't life just be easy? Because then I wouldn't have anything to blog about.

I have 3.5 hours to finish my paper. I will finish it. If I stop blogging. And emailing. And watching Footloose on HBO.

i hate being crazy.

At one time I thought it would be interesting to do an A.D.D. blog. But then I would take my medicine and I would feel normal so it wasn't so interesting. Now my medicine doesn't work and I'm miserable. I have a paper due tomorrow and I can't write it. I will write it because it's due tomorrow at 5:30. But I will go back to my old ways and finish it a few minutes before I have to leave for class. This sucks. I'm anxious and feel icky. I worry about not finding any medicine that will help. I'm just a big whiner.

And I really hope the White Sox beat the Angels tonight and head to the World Series.

must be getting old

I'm excited about a new stove. Isn't it pretty? It will be much more fun when the matching microwave is installed. We won't be doing that ourselves!!

work.

It's 4 p.m. and I really haven't gotten anything done today. I had a meeting from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. Then another meeting from 12 p.m. to 1:30 p.m. but I had to leave that meeting at 1 p.m. because I had to facilitate another meeting from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. How am I supposed to get my other work done? If I figure it out I'll let you know. Probably not spending so much time reading blogs and posting blogs would help. Probably. Maybe not.

i'm scary

Every Wednesday afternoon I have a "supervision" meeting with my "supervisor." The other day I told my coworker that my "supervisor" would probably cancel because she doesn't want to talk to me. I just got back to my office and had a voicemail from my "supervisor" cancelling our meeting this afternoon. Awesome!! hahahahaahhaahahahahaahaaaaaaa

kwame's street walkers

Is 'street walkers' supposed to be one word? Hmmm... This morning when I was driving to work I had to stop for a red light at Kercheval and VanDyke. Kilpatrick supporters were standing on each corner approaching cars with fliers. It was pretty rainy and gross this morning. They must really like Kwame. Thank God they didn't bother coming up to my car. It just seems like a strange campaign strategy. Apparently they know something I don't know. I know if I was running for mayor I would not make my friends stand out in the rain and in the street handing shit out. Maybe that's why I wouldn't win. Maybe that's why he won't win.

yum!

I just ate kraut and sausage for dinner. It was very good. Except I left the crock pot on super low and should have left it on low. So I didn't eat very much. I'll let it cook more and finish dinner after the AA meeting. I hope I don't fart through the entire meeting. Hahahaaahahaaa.

poop and stuff.

This medication sucks. It's not working. And it makes me very sleepy. I read that it might take a while for it to work. I don't have time to wait!! Argh...

Before my class on Monday night I always stop by the bathroom to go pee. It's a pretty big bathroom with about 10 stalls. When I went in it was empty. Yippee! I picked a stall toward the end of the row. While I was peeing someone (I can only assume it was a woman) came in and I was not pleased when she picked the stall right next to mine. There were so many others to choose from. Then I was downright annoyed when I heard her start to poop. Luckily I was done peeing and was able to get out of there before it smelled. I was going to wait for her outside and ask her why she decided to poop next to me when there were so many other empty stalls. But that would just be too much drama.

Tonight I am going to an AA meeting for class. It should be interesting. I've never been to a meeting before. Before the meeting I am going to eat sauerkraut and sausage for dinner. That's right, I filled up the crock pot with kraut and onions and mushrooms and a big ol' hunk of sausage before I left for work this morning. I'm going to be so disappointed if I messed up the kraut and it sucks.

time to study.

I got my paper back in class today. I got a 'B'. That sucks. Not that it's a terrible grade but my grade was only 1 point higher than this chick in my class that is kind of stupid. Dammit! I'll have to work harder on the next one.

Today when I was in class I figured out how to connect my laptop to the wireless connection in the building. Having the internet during class doesn't help me pay attention. I almost blogged from class but decided it would be a bad idea. Sometimes when I have bad ideas I realize they are bad ideas and don't do them.

Jesse's mom is visiting this weekend. It's nice to have her here. And not just because I beat both of them at Karaoke Revolution tonight. Oh yeahhhh... Take these broken wings....

stupid stupid job.

In an effort to cut down the amount of meetings everyone in my "team" has to attend, my supervisor and her supervisor came up with a plan. We used to meet on Tuesday mornings to discuss the families in the shelter and on Thursday mornings we talked about the families in the other program. The meetings were combined so my Tuesday meetings were moved to Thursday. Today was the first time we tried the new "system" they came up with. The problem with the new "system" was that there was absolutely no direction.
The agenda was:
Case managers from the other program talk about their families
Children's Services talk about their families in the other program
Children's Services talk about their families in the shelter
Case manager from the shelter talk about their families
Yesterday my supervisor told me I didn't have to come to the part about the other program. The meeting starts at 9:30. I asked her what time I should come. She said she didn't know, but I could come late. I asked how late. She said she didn't know. Maybe come at 10AM, she said. Forget it, I'll just go at 9:30. So I went at 9:30AM. At 11:45AM they were still talking about the families in the other program. During one of the breaks, yes, there were two, one of the children's services people asked what time she should put in her calendar for the meeting to end. My supervisor said, "Well, this is a new format and we don't know what time the meeting will end." I almost cried. Who runs a meeting like this?? My supervisor ended up cutting off the other program so I would have time to do my part of the meeting. At that point it was 11:54. I announced that I would talk for 6 minutes and then I would be leaving. I started talking about one of the families and my supervisor interrupted me and said, "Could you please tell people some background about the family." I wanted to punch her. At the end of the meeting someone asked again if we could have an end time for the meeting. And she said again, "This is a new format and we don't know what time the meeting will end." I felt sick to my stomach. I wasted 3 hours this meeting because my supervisor sucks ass. Oh my GOD I'm so frustrated I could scream.

The good news is I finally got Strattera! Unfortunately there isn't a generic version so I have to pay more. I'm sounding like Debbie Downer. YES!

eye doctor.

This morning I sped by a little car with a bumper sticker. It read, "LIFE" in big letters, and in little letters it read, "a child is not a circus." Wha? Huh? Since I was going about 85 mph and the little car was going about 60 mph I had to slam on my brakes to read it again. Oh. It really read, "a child is not a choice." Perhaps it's time to call and make an appointment with my opthamologist.

leadership

Speaking of my crazy supervisor, I had to meet with her today for "supervision."

Crazy Supervisor: F (her supervisor) told me I need to start thinking of ways to lead the team meetings. I guess she doesn't like the way I lead the meetings. People are complaining. I'm going to tell everyone that someone else needs to be the leader. But we already take turns facilitating the meetings so I'm not sure what she's talking about. I don't know. What do you think?
Me: I think there is a difference between 'facilitating' and 'leading.' (while thinking to myself: you suck at both)
CS: I know so I'm not sure what she is talking about. What do I need to do differently?
Me: I'm not sure how to answer that because I don't know what the complaints are. (while thinking to myself: you need to quit)
CS: I don't know what the complaints are either. I don't know. I guess I'll tell everyone that they need to take year long turns at being the team leader. That's the only thing I can think of.
Me: ... (while thinking to myself: ... )

i'm having an affair.

Not really. But today I kind of felt like it. The newest member of my "team" at work has been here since February. Lately he's come to the realization that our supervisor is crazy. Yesterday she sent a crazy email to us and he called and asked if we could get lunch. We decided we didn't want anyone to know about it so I had to tell a lie to my closest and most favorite coworker. It turned out I only had to tell a partial lie. I told her I was going to run some errands and find a birthday present for Jesse. I did get an oil change and I did find a birthday present for Jesse. And then I took another hour to eat a yummy hamburger at Chili's with my other coworker. It was nice to get away and he is very funny and sarcastic and we see things (crazy ass supervisor) the same way. It will suck if I find out he is one of her spies.

i suck.

Tomorrow is Jesse's birthday. I don't have a present for him. I don't have a dinner reservation for him. SHIT. He says it isn't a big deal but it's a big deal for me. Of course, I'm the one who plans my birthday party months in advance and publishes detailed gift lists. So today while I am supposed to be working I will be trying to figure out how to pull this all together by tomorrow.

health insurance.

I should be grateful that I have health insurance. Lord knows I work with enough people who don't have it, or are underinsured. However, the insurance company I have now is an asshole. Are assholes? Hmm. Yesterday I finally went to the pharmacy to get my prescription for Strattera filled. The kind pharmacist was unable to fill the prescription because my insurance did not cover it. The insurance company's message was, "Call Dr., try stimulant first." I laughed because the insurance company clearly has its (their?) head(s?) up its (their?) ass(es?). They have been paying for me to try a stimulant for the past year. So now I am waiting to hear back from my doctor's office about getting an override so my insurance will cover it.

please pass the lederhosen

I've done it! With the help of my dear friend Joanna, I have made sauerkraut. Bring on the sausage!!