apple biker gang

The latest news in the village:

"Last evening around 7:30, M*** who lives on Parker was riding his bike near Parker and Agnes. A group of six kids on bikes chased him and pelted him with apples. He wasn't hurt, just really shaken up."

I've seen these kids. One night they hit my car with a crab apple. I looked at them and laughed and they rode away. They obviously aren't very nice kids. Throwing apples at a man on a bike is an asshole thing to do. But people in the village have convinced me the kids are the devil. Read some of the responses...

"I personally witnessed these kids (boys AND girls) on nine bikes last evening while I was cutting the lawn. Apparently someone did call the police because shortly afterward a patrol car began cruising up and down the block. The car left, and the kids returned. Lesson: they are very good at going, in technical Police jargon I learned from my ride-along during the Academy class last year, "poof." If you spot them, keep a close eye on their location, direction moving, and where they disappear to, in order to assist. Thanks.
P.S. They are incredibly wild, even when they are not throwing apples or rocks. And, the seeming-leader of the cohort has a habit of using a choice word starting with N every other sentence, sometimes more."

"Now that I have a minute, I'll tell you the rest of her description. She saw red and white jackets (gang? Maybe). All had backpacks which she thought unusual. When I have seen them, they haven't much cared that I am watching. All of you are right---we need to stop the behavior before it escalates. I don't have a picture phone, but any of you that do should try to get a picture. Maybe this could help the police."

"Two thoughts - they could be more than vandals. Two of our break in's where at least aided by a kid no more than 9 - 11 years old. They came in a singles pane window no bigger than 12x12. Second... the last few weeks at Waldorf my son (and other students) where harrashed over the fence daily while on the playground, they were threatened using profanity to make the point. After 4 years at Waldorf that was the first time I heard of such a thing. It went on after that for 2-3 times per week until the end of the school year."

and now for my favorite!!

"I believe these boys have also broken two windows in our carriage house, one last night. N** believes he saw them from down the block. I found an apple in the carriage house this morning. The family behind us has an untended apple tree that is dropping apples into the alley right now.

These kids have been belligerent to other neighbors as well. One neighbor told me he was mooned by them.

When I first noticed the boys they were all wearing white or red Tshirts. Are they still doing this? Is this the precursor to gang activity?

So I called 311 (very long wait) to report the broken window.

They suggested Community Relations at the 7th.

The advice I was given BY THE POLICE is that we should call 911 when these boys enter our neighborhood. We should say we feel threatened. So let’s all get on our phones.

P.S. Maybe we could also trap them in an alley—close both ends with minivans and then call the police. They’d have to leave their bikes to hop our fences. We could give the bikes to the police and let the kids claim them there…. (an only semi serious suggestion)."

Of course my suggestion would be to have a parade. And I'm sure the police will appreciate people calling and saying they are threatened by kids on bikes with crab apples. It just seems like there are so many more important things to worry about than kids with backpacks on bikes throwing crab apples who might be in a pre-gang but might not be and who might use profanity a lot.