Last night I decided to take two Benadryl after drinking two bloody mary's. I was determined to sleep. And I did. Unfortunately I was an hour late to work today because I could not get out of bed. And I almost fell back asleep on the way to work. The good news is I met with a client and then came home to "work". It might be nap time.

I had really real dreams about smoking last night. I actually felt bad for smoking and could feel the dread of having to quit again. What a relief when I woke up and realized I hadn't started smoking again and wouldn't have to quit again. Maybe if I can keep having dreams like that I won't ever start smoking again. Maybe....

I also had a dream about going to Minneapolis to see Juli and her family. Jesse and I went to see a baseball game with her family. When we got to her house there were a bunch of people there because they were having a party at her house. Very strange.

Time to work. Or watch tv. Or nap.

I'm so glad the village is watching for this:

--yellow Ford pickup, beat up, large pole in rear of truck,
south on Seminole, driving very slowly and looking around

I think if I had a large pole in my rear I'd be driving very slowly and looking around too. It's a good thing I'm not a beat up yellow Ford pickup.

This morning I actually left for work a few minutes early. More construction was supposed to start on I-94 this morning so I thought it would be a good idea. It would have been a great idea except for the car accident that made me sit in traffic for what felt like forever. I ended up being 20 minutes late for work.

Yesterday I lent my office keys to one of my coworkers. She had left her keys at home and didn't want to have to run back to get them. We were supposed to see each other at the meeting this morning so it wasn't a big deal. She didn't show up to the meeting this morning. I had no way to get into my office and I have a HUD report due Friday. She had left me a voicemail saying she over slept and wouldn't make it to the meeting. I called her at home and left her a message telling her I needed my keys. I called her office and left her a similar message.

After the meeting I went to my office and found the maintenance guys to let me in. I had taken my laptop to work so I wouldn't have to work in my actual office. The mold cleaning people were there and they didn't want anyone in the building. I'll listen to them, just not the assholes at the agency that tell me not to work there! I set my computer up and took boxes of files from my office but when I sat down to work, I could not open Excel on my computer. All of my report data is on Excel. So I found the maintenance guys again and they let me into the office of one of my coworkers. I didn't think she would be in today so didn't think it would be a big deal. Luckily the woman returned my keys by noon!! I wish I could have slept in!!

I was actually getting work done when my cell phone rang. It was my supervisor. The HUD auditor was there and needed 3 of my files. I had no idea the auditor was going to be there and so have no idea what is in those files. Should be interesting. Jesse had sent me a link to download something that would fix my Excel problem. I packed up my computer and took it to the River St. office where I knew I could hook my computer up to the network and access the internet. Unfortunately the River St. office hasn't had internet access for over a week. Fuck!

I went back to the office I had been working from and was sitting there when the woman whose office I was squatting in showed up. Luckily she was very understanding and didn't care that I had moved into her office without asking first.

I had to leave work early because I had to turn in my final paper by 5PM. It's a good thing I left extra early because there was another accident on the freeway. I can't feel my clutch leg.

Tonight I had dinner with a woman from my class. The same woman that works at the same company as Jesse. I was dreading it a little bit because I'm tired and had a bad day. But it was a nice dinner. She is a nice woman and we have lots to talk about.

Now I'm home. Bedtime will probably be early, depending on how many more bloody mary's I consume. I hope something funny happens to me soon.

village alert

This just in on the email list:

Blue sedan, older model. African-American male, driving very slowly, looking around the entire neighborhood, NOT garbage picking.

As opposed to all the other African-American males that ARE garbage picking? What the fuck?!!!

houston we have a problem.

It's still really cold in here because the fuses keep blowing. Everytime I turn something else off to see if the space heater can still run without blowing a fuse I feel like Ken Mattingly on the Apollo 13 ground crew. I hate my job.

this is ridiculous.

It is 49 degrees in my office. I've been here for less than an hour and my fingers ache and it's hard to write anything down. Thank God for space heaters. I guess.

I can't believe it has been snowing for two days. Yes I know, it's Michigan and I shouldn't be surprised. But I am. And I think it sucks. Yesterday I bought some really cute sandals that I want to wear. But if I wear them now, I will look very silly. And my toes might freeze and fall off.

Snow outside has helped me to stay inside and write a paper for one of my classes. It's the last thing I have to do for this semester. I hate writing papers and I am pretty sure the paper is going to suck. And I'm even more sure that I don't give a shit.

I feel like going to bed and not getting out until it is at least 70 degrees outside. Okay sounds like a plan.

This email from the village is lovely...

From Overnight:
--young white female, sleeping in a vehicle parked on St. Paul betweenSeminole and Iroquois, obvious signs of drinking and vomiting3:00 a.m.

I'm wondering if the person that saw this young white female bothered to check to make sure she wasn't dead from alcohol poisoning or hadn't had a seizure or something.

One of my professors told us a story about some cops that arrested a man they saw leaving a bar at the end of the night. They arrested him because he got in his car, started to drive out of the parking lot and then he slumped over the steering wheel. The officers could smell beer so they assumed he was drunk. They took him back to the precinct and threw him in the drunk tank. Too bad they were wrong. Sure the guy had a couple beers that night but he wasn't drunk. He slumped over the steering wheel because he had a massive heart attack. He died while in the drunk tank.

By the way, I think this is the first email I have seen about a white person.

Yesterday when I got to my office there was a piece of paper sitting on my printer tray. I was surprised because I am usually very careful to not leave anything on the printer just in case it has a client's name on it. I picked it up and it was page 2 of 2 of a website that had been printed. Imagine my surprise when I saw the website was (WARNING: IF YOU ARE AT WORK OR HAVE SMALL CHILDREN AROUND, DON'T CLICK ON IT!! It's a naked lady site.) this. It had been printed earlier in the day so I knew I hadn't done it. When I turned on my computer I saw who had logged on last. Apparently he isn't very smart. I took the piece of paper and went looking for him. Unfortunately for him I ran into his supervisor before I found him. I showed her and we cracked up. I told her that I hoped the first page was better than the second page! When I found him I gave him the paper and told him he left it on my printer. He looked at it and immediately blamed his coworker. I told him that he had logged onto my computer and his coworker hadn't but if it was his coworker, he needed to address it with him. I also told him that his supervisor knew. He wasn't very happy about that. I don't know who printed it out. I do know that his coworker uses my computer and has his own login name and password. And I've never had any problems with him leaving stuff on my printer. If he is looking at big tits, he's much stealthier at it!

So, if anyone is looking at porn at work, this is just a reminder that if you do print, take all the pages with you. Especially if you aren't at your own computer.

encore! encore!!

From dictionary.com:
en·core (nkôr, -kr) n.
A demand by an audience for an additional performance, usually expressed by applause.
An additional performance in response to the demand of an audience.

One night in a smoky bar in Michigan, I don't remember which because I've been to too many bars on too many nights, the Atomic Numbers played an amazing set in front of an enthusiastic and loving crowd. When they finished playing, they left the stage, probably to find cocktails. The crowd was not ready to accept the end of the rock and roll. They screamed and cheered and clapped for minutes. Finally, the band realized they needed to play an encore and got their skinny asses back on the stage. They had sheepish grins as they picked up their instruments and admitted they had never played an encore before, let alone had a crowd that demanded one. Since they had already played their set list, they had to take a minute to figure out what songs they would play next. They continued to rock out until the bar told them they had to stop because it was closing time. An amazing night to be had by all. Encores are such fun!

Last night Jesse, Joel, Amanda, Julie and I went to Michigan Theater to see Elvis Costello and The Imposters. It was the 5th time I had seen Elvis Costello in concert. I thought it was the 6th, but Joel said nope, it was the 5th. And he would know because we've always gone together. The performance last night was too wonderful to describe. The best part is that they played for about 2 hours straight. And when they were done, they were done. No encores. Encores suck!

Encores seemed to have evolved into demeaning begging sessions. I believe artists/musicians plan to play shorter sets because they assume when they leave the stage, the crowd will go wild and will scream and cheer and clap for their return and then when the artist/musician returns to the stage, the crowd will scream and cheer and clap even louder. I, however, do not wish to pay $50 for a ticket (not including the Ticketmaster-whore fee) and then have to beg, by screaming, cheering and clapping, for my money's worth.

So thank you Elvis, for making me feel like you gave me everything you had and not making me feed your ego by making me beg for it. Let's go back to the old days of Atomic Numbers shows. There's nothing more exhilerating than a band that plays their asses off (anyone seen Zach's anywhere?) and then is humbled (real humbled, not fake "Oh thank you so much you guys are so great now let me continue on my encore itinerary I will play two more songs and exit the stage at which time you will throw yourselves at my feet when I return and play again right on schedule oh thank you thank you thank you I have the best fans in the world" humbled) by the crowd wanting more.

That's just what I think.

My mom forwarded this email to me. My aunt (dad's half-sister) had forwarded it to her. I'll say more after you read it.

Wouldn't it be something if this "really happened" ... How about this for a Presidential Address:
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans:

As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is now complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of theworld's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York .

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.

God bless America. Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens! Let's get this to every USA computer

The only reason my aunt sent this to my parents is because she is an asshole. She is an asshole because she believe this and she is an asshole because she knows it goes against everything my parents believe in and she sent it anyway. Part of me wants to email her and tell her what I think. But I know I won't change her mind. And the ridiculousness of the words don't even deserve a response. Scary.

ouch

On Saturday I went to Grand Rapids to hang out with Joanna and plan for camp. While driving I realized I was having shoe issues and would need to stop and buy something to get me through the weekend. Okay so when I took off my flip flops in the car my feet smelled so bad my eyes watered. I wouldn't be a very good houseguest if I didn't do something about it and I didn't pack any other footwear. So I met Joanna and her family at Value City and found these beauties. They were a little big but they were the only ones I found that didn't have 4 inch heels and large fake flowers. DON'T BUY THEM!! I'm not sure if I got rejects because I got them at Value City or what but the "unique footbed design with massage knobs that rub your feet for comfort" hurt. A lot. I wore them today and I had to stop by my doctor's office to pick up a prescription. The office is on the 4th floor and I always take the stairs. By the time I got to the 3rd floor I had tears in my eyes and could hardly walk. I considered taking them off and going barefoot but not at the doctor's office! Yuck!!

another mold update.

Are you sick of these? Trust me, so am I.

The mold cleaning people are coming on April 26 and will take a couple days to get the job done. I've been told again to not work in this office. And again I nod my head and smile. Today I decided I will move everything I need to another office, which would be in a much more comfortable place called home. It wouldn't be necessary except I have a big report due at the end of the month!! Hopefully I'll be able to work there.

I think there has been a casualty due to all of this drama. My beloved ficus plant dropped all of its leaves. Actually, there are a few still hanging on but they are all dry and look pretty dead. I know ficus plants are picky and will drop their leaves if they are unhappy. I haven't watered it any more or any less so I decided to look online. Apparently ficus plants like warm rooms. Since the heat was turned off a few weeks ago it's been freezing in here.

They killed my plant!

I'm hoping when it is warm in here again it will come back to life. I would take it home but the cats would probably eat it and kill it anyway.

Mold level today is high. I can't stop sneezing and blowing my nose. I wish I was kidding.

get out of my office!

The computer guy was here again today. He's a nice guy. We have pleasant conversations. But we don't have much in common. I usually have Michigan Radio playing on my computer and last year he made the comment that he doesn't like NPR because it's too liberal. That's fine, I recognize that the programming is to the left. But then he said he and his friends have their own name for All Things Considered. They call it 'All Things Inconsiderate.' Then he cracked up. A chuckle would have been too much. But he laughed for a minute. Yikes.

Today when he came in I was listening to Diane Rehm.
Computer guy: Oh I can't stand her show. It sounds like she has Parkinson's or something. She shouldn't even be on the radio! *chuckle*
Me: Yeah she has a disability that affects her vocal chords. I'm not sure what it is called but she talks about it once in a while. She is lucky that she hasn't been discriminated against and still has a show.
Computer guy: Oh.

Don't mess with Diane.

is it friday yet?

Because on Friday I get to go see KVB rock out at the Magic Bag. And then on Saturday I get to go to Joanna's to plan for camp and to have fun with her family. I need a weekend. All this not-working-at-home is stressing me out and that is exhausting.

Last night I went to the last class of the semester for one of my classes. Next week is actually the last night of class but I will be at an Elvis Costello concert instead. For this class I had to turn in a one-page reaction paper each week. The professor had given us a format for the papers at the beginning of the semester but I thought the format was stupid so I just wrote about what I felt like writing about. Most of the time I wrote about stupid things people said in class and what I thought about them. A couple times I even wrote about stupid things the profesora said. Each week I turned my little paper in but didn't get them back until last night. I had no idea if profesora hated them or loved them. Apparently she loved them. Last night she said for the last class we would talk about the reaction papers and then she said "We'll especially talk about Jen's because she had some very thought provoking questions in her papers." I'm glad she enjoyed them but it kind of sucks because apparently I didn't get my "you're an idiot and this class sucks" point across very well. Oh well. I'm getting an 'A'. I guess that's what I'm here for.

After class I met Jesse and his friends for dinner. We went back to Parker St. and he and his friend played Karaoke Revolution. For some reason I am not able to karaoke in front of anyone but Jesse. So after his friends left we played and I kicked his ass. I believe he said "I've never seen anyone get so many points before."

I was hoping to get some good sleep last night since I didn't sleep well the night before. Unfortunately I couldn't get to sleep. I find myself laying in bed feeling sorry for my no-office-having-self and stressing about how I am going to get my reports done when I don't have an office and can't seem to get any work done at home. And actually, I can't do the reports from home because I need a buttload of files to look shit up. Anyway, I was exhausted this morning and couldn't get out of bed.

Since I have a meeting today I decided to come to the moldy office. I would have only been a few minutes late for work but somehow I missed the exit. By about 8 miles. That's right. I am supposed to take exit 183 but didn't realize I was still on the freeway until I saw the exit sign for Ann Arbor/Saline Rd., which is exit 175. I've missed exits before. I usually realize as I am driving by in the left lane and can't get over to the right exit in time. I've never gone that far without realizing I fucked up. *sigh* I'm feeling especially loser-ish today.

I have a presentation to do in my other class tonight. People better not mess with me or I will probably lose my mind on them. I just hope I can find my way to class...

stay at home person.

I'm working from home again this afternoon. It isn't working out so well for getting work done. Well, work related work. I've been having lots of fun working on my camp planning binder and making lunch and hanging out with Willie Horton. And I've even gotten work done on school work. That's good, right?

But I haven't gotten any work done.

Maybe when my employer realizes that I am not capable of working from home, they will fix my damn office.

Maybe.

nature preserve

I got home from work a little bit before 1PM today. When I walked in the door I heard a strange sound. It was a bit of a squawking sound so I was very confused. I looked around the house but didn't hear it again. Then while I was eating lunch I heard it again. I thought maybe Jesse had left his computer speakers on or something. After lunch I went out to the screened in porch and was cleaning when I heard the noise again. It was really loud and scared the shit out of Barbaro, Willie and I. I looked up and there was a big ass pheasant in the neighbor's back yard. Every once in a while it squawked and then went about it's business. I figured I would see ghetto cats and thugs in my backyard, but didn't really expect to see a pheasant. It's a couple yards down now but still really loud.

If only I had a bb gun...

oooops

Yesterday I wrote that the Detroit Tigers are playing the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles on Friday May 13. I was wrong! They are playing the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Jesse was right. Joel and I were wrong. It's all so confusing.

sunny day

It's been a pretty good weekend and now it is sunny and warm and I get to do yard work. I should be ready to do yard work. I've been thinking/talking about it all winter. "I get to plant a garden." "It will be fun to plant stuff." And today I went and spent $100 on gardening utensils at Lowe's. But now I am feeling lazy. Can someone please come and use my utensils to get rid of all the weeds and then plant some pretty stuff? I realized I am not only lazy but I have no idea what I am doing. And when our yard looks like shit, it will be all my fault. Someone told me gardening was relaxing and helped to relieve stress. They must have been avid crack smokers.

Yesterday Jesse and I went to Holt for my family get together. My mom's side of the family is ridiculously close and we get together for every occasion, and for no occasion at all. It was nice to see everyone and I realized it is very nice to really like my family. Cousin Seth was there so that made it extra special. Seth, Jesse and I went to the Peanut Barrel in East Lansing to get a cocktail. It brought back so many memories and I felt really old. Seth and I used to go to the bar and talk about "relations" we had. Last night we talked about home owner bullshit until I put a stop to it. And I was yawning the whole time and I think we left by 10pm. Pathetic. I used to be so much fun. I can't believe how old I am.

Speaking of being old, if you are reading, please feel free to join me to celebrate my 38th birthday on Friday May 13. We will begin the festivities at Comerica Park and watch the Detroit Tigers play the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles (is that their new name??). And then we will probably continue the festivities somewhere else. Perhaps the Comet Bar? Or maybe here on Parker St. We have karaoke here too you know!

garden

Last summer I grew a cherry tomato plant in a big ol' pot in the back yard area of our apartment. It worked and I was very proud to have grown a plant that actually produced cherry tomatoes.

I decided to harvest some grape tomato seeds so I could grow them this summer. I bought some yummy and sweet grape tomatoes and looked up seed harvesting info on the internet.

A week ago I planted the seeds that I had harvested. Today when I got home from work I went to water them and there were plants! I couldn't believe it!! I have plants!! I'll probably kill them all but I am amazed that I actually harvested them correctly and they grew!!!

gas mask

Today the Human Resources director showed up at my office and stuck a sign on the door. It reads, "BLACK MOLD IN THE BASEMENT. DO NOT ENTER WITHOUT PROPER MASK. TALK TO R*** IF YOU NEED A MASK."

HR director: Hi Jenny. You need to wear a mask if you are in here.
JenJen: I can't.
HR: Do you have one?
JenJen: Yes.
HR: F***, G***, K******, R*** and I met and decided that everyone in here has to wear a mask.
JenJen: Oh.

Then I went in my office and shut the door. I am looking at my mask. It's lying on the floor next to my computer.

I decided to stop using people's names, just in case someone from work finds this blog. So I will translate a little bit:
F***= Program Director
G***= Executive Director
K******= Development Director
R***= Administrative Services Supervisor

And in case you didn't notice, not one of them consulted with me. If they had, I would have told them that I have been working in mold infested buildings for the past 3 years and a few more weeks isn't going to kill me. And since they didn't help to move anything out of my office so I could work somewhere else, I'm going to work here. And if they tell me I have to wear a mask, I'll work from home every day. But since I won't have any files or anything I need, I'll most likely be working on my yard and my tan while working from home. Assholes.

moldy

I forgot to tell you that I am still not supposed to be in my office. But I am because now it is warm. The lastest news is that because the cleaning company estimated the cost to be $6000, our insurance company is requiring us to get 2 more bids. I think they have gotten one more bid. But they decided to clear the basement of all the shit down there anyway. So now all the shit that is probably covered in mold is sitting right outside my office. And I'm guessing a cleaning company won't actually be hired for two more weeks. Let's hope they prove me wrong. Even though I should be holding my breath, I'm not going to.

paper cut.

This morning on my way to work I reached in my bag to get my sunglasses and got a big ol' paper cut on my pinky. It is one of the largest paper cuts known to humans and it hurts like hell. Unfortunately it is right on the tip of my pinky so typing is painful. You're lucky I'm blogging at all.

Maybe not.

Before the paper cut, Jesse took a shower and told me the water pressure sucked. I figured he broke something but apparently the city is breaking.

Then after the paper cut I went to Quizno's for lunch. It's the first time I have been there since their advertising has driven me crazy. I won't return because Curtis, the sandwich artist (or are those just at Subway?), sucked. He wasn't friendly. He took his time. And the italian dressing he put on my sandwich makes my pinky sting. Asshole.

homerun hat trick

What a beautiful day for baseball. Sunny and about 70 degrees. I forgot to wear sunblock so my arms are gonna be hurting!

A fun game all around but especially because Dmitri Young hit 3 homeruns! The next game we have tickets to is on Friday but I'm already trying to figure out if I can "work" from home on Thursday and go to that game.

Take me out to the ball game!

it's a holiday!

Today is the Detroit Tigers home opener vs. the Kansas City Royals. This morning when I woke up I was so happy and it felt like today was some sort of national holiday.

Go Tigs!!!

bb gun and kitty

When I was little I went to spend the night at Carol's house. We walked from my house to her house. On the way to her house a little orange tabby kitten started to follow us. The kitten stuck around her house all night. And while we tried to sleep, it cried outside the window and then started climbing the screen. We were really annoyed because no matter how much we yelled and stomped our feet and chased it, it came back and cried and bugged us. The next morning it was still there. We asked Carol's brother to get his bb gun. He got it, pumped it once or twice, and took a shot. Luckily he didn't pump it more than a couple times because he shot the thing in it's butthole. The kitten yelled and took off. I felt so bad!! And then I felt worse when I found out it was the neighbor's kitten who had snuck outside and they had been looking for it. Ooops.

cat pee stinks.

I "worked" from home today. Unfortunately the ghetto cats outside continue to pee on/around our house and it smells like a litterbox in here. It's pretty gross and is making me sick...literally. I puked. Niiiiiiiiice.

I decided to escape the nastiness by going to The Jack to pick up some groceries for dinner tonight. After wandering around the store carefully picking out my purchases, I went through the do-it-yourself check out lane. Then I realized my wallet was not in my purse. So I wrote a check and hoped they wouldn't ask for ID. They did. The kind man said he needed my driver's license number. I told him that's okay because I know it by heart. He didn't believe me. I really do, though. I was nice to him because he was just doing his job. Then I came home and felt like shit for being such a dumbass.

Jesse and I will be eating out tonight. And then we will go to Petco to purchase cat repellent. I hope it works or I will have to buy a bb gun.