back by popular demand.

And by "popular", I mean "Joanna". She threatened to not be my friend anymore if I am nice. I do not have many friends and cannot afford to lose one. So I will be mean again the next time I get a chance. Don't worry, I'm sure it will be soon.

On my way home I was behind a Cadillac Escalade. There were shiny testicles hanging from the tow hitch. They were silver and they were swinging back and forth. Wow. I had never seen them before. Sometimes I feel so sheltered. And that's not a homeless joke.

attitude adjustment.

Last night I realized I hit some kind of low when, at the thought of working in a cold office another day, I started to cry. Something as stupid as that should not make me cry. So today, as I sat in my chilly little room (although it was 61 degrees this morning and is now up to 64!!) I decided I need to change my attitude and be more positive. And then I decided I also need to be more nice. If you are reading this then you most likely know me. And you know that I am mean and judgmental and even worse, I think it's funny. And worse than that, I get a kick out of others' meanness. Well, there is a line to cross to get to not-funny, but it's pretty far out there. It's pretty sad when I can think of something mean to say in 1.76 seconds, but it can take me all day to come up with something nice to say.

Oh shit. Maybe social work isn't for me.

With my new attitude on my mind I went to Panera to get some lunch. One of the women taking orders was an older (maybe late 50s??) than me woman who wore about 15 of those rubber bracelets on one arm. You know what I'm talking about - those crazy bracelets that Lance Armstrong started selling and now everybody with a cause is trying to raise money by selling them. Maybe it's just an Ann Arbor thing. Anyway, I witnessed 2 very interesting conversations this woman had with 2 different customers.

Conversation 1:
Customer: I have a bracelet that you don't have!
Bracelet Lady: Let me see!
C: Looky! (she really said this)
BL: Where did you get that? How much did it cost?
C: She said something I couldn't hear...and then said $5.
BL: Bring me one next time you come in! I'll pay you for it!!
Then they said a bunch of other stuff and got the other employee taking orders in on the conversation. I was a little annoyed because I was hungry and neither employee was taking orders because they were discussing stupid bracelets. But, because of my new outlook on life, I just smiled, tried to purge my mind of mean thoughts, and waited my turn.

While I was waiting for my food to be ready I heard conversation #2 that Bracelet Lady had with a man and woman. I didn't hear what led up to this conversation.
Bracelet Lady: Can you believe they won't even give her communion because it is considered food?
Man Customer: I know. I can't believe that in this country they are letting someone starve to death.
BL: What's next? Are they going to remove the Pope's feeding tube?
Woman Customer: Why isn't this against the law?
BL: Well now they are looking into the 14th amendment. I think it's the 14th amendment. What is the 14th amendment? And did you hear they cut off support to a six month old baby?
MC: I just don't get how starving someone to death is humane.

Then my food came. WOW. After a mere 13 minutes and 24 seconds I came up with something nice to say about the bracelet lady. Here it is...she was really good at taking orders when she finally got around to it.

I know, I still have work to do.

And I'm still trying to think of something nice to say about the customers.

heat wave

It's supposed to get up to 59 degrees today. Hopefully spring has really arrived in Michigan.

Due to a moldy building, the heat in my office was turned off this weekend. When I came in yesterday morning the thermostat read 51 degrees. After a long cold winter that sounds warm. But it's not. Not for inside anyway! I was lucky to find a space heater under Brenda's desk. Today it is a balmy 56 degrees in my office. But it still feels really cold. I brought a space heater from home that works much better than the one I found yesterday.

The good thing is that we keep the temperature at 65 degrees at home. It usually feels chilly. Now it feels really good.

thank you city of detroit!

According to today's Detroit News/Free Press, if someone steals my car after April 1st, the Detroit Police Department is requiring me to go to the precinct where my car is stolen to file a report. That's right. I won't be able to call them to report the crime. I must take my no-car-having-because-someone-stole-it ass to the precinct to file a report because some assholes have previously made phone calls falsely reporting auto thefts. And I won't be taking the bus to the precinct because I will have to wait a long time...or the bus won't come at all because the route was cut.

Lucky for me, I have a very good security system on my car. That's right. I drive a stick shift. And I am convinced car-stealing-thugs can't drive stick shifts. If you happen to know that I am very wrong, please inform me immediately and I will go out and purchase The Club or something. For now, I am going to program the phone number of a cab company into my cell phone, put an emergency $20 in my shoe for said cab, and print a map of the police precincts to put in my purse just in case someone helps themselves to my car.

I love this city!!

you look just like...

Today Jesse and I were at Borders in Beverly Hills, MI. He was off looking for some computer book or something and I was checking out the bargain cookbook section. I was crouched down looking at a book when a 40ish year old white woman approached me.

White woman: You look a lot like...have you seen that show 'Lost' on TV?
Jen: No. *not looking at her and praying that she does not say I look like Margaret Cho because if she does I will have to take her out at her fucking kneecaps*
WW: Well there is a woman on that show and you look just like her.
J: Why because I'm Asian? *standing up to look at her*
WW: Yes.
J: *laughs and walks away*

I decided I should have said: Really? That's odd because I was just wondering if you have seen that show 'Golden Girls'. You look a lot like Bea Arthur.

But that would have been an insult to Bea and we all know how much I dig her!!

The Human Resources Director of my agency sent an email to all the staff with this information. Are you kidding me? If I worked at an agency with a religious affiliation I might put up with this shit. But I don't. So I'm not going to.

*sigh* mold update

I had to leave work early today to meet with my academic advisor (more on that situation later). Brenda called to tell me the results of the mold test came in. There is black mold, it's not as bad as the other building was but we can't be in the building until it gets cleaned up.

This sucks. Today has been a bad day. I spent most of this morning at the office trying to hurry to get work done and get out. I don't know how long I will be able to do this. Maybe one or two more days. Jesse is so kind and understanding and said we could talk about me quitting and just living on his income until I find another job. But I can't do that because I need health insurance. Ugh. I hate this.

When I met with my academic advisor she told me I was supposed to meet with her in February. Which I hadn't realized until the beginning of March. So I had to fill out a bunch of paperwork so I can enroll for classes in spring/summer. I was about to say fuck it and tell her to shove her paperwork up her ass. But then I realized that by going to school, I will be able to get the hell out of the agency I currently work for. I just have to remember that.

oooo pretty!

Indian Village residents are very excited by Detroit Originals because they have bumper stickers that say "Detroiter by Choice". Too bad they most likely want to get small print on the bottom saying "now if only the poor black people wouldn't choose it and would leave."

Maybe I am being too mean. It still just kills me that most of the emails on this list are descriptions of black men walking through the neighborhood who look shady because they are, well, walking through the neighborhood. Or descriptions of black people in shitty cars, or nice cars, driving quickly, or slowly through the neighborhood.

By the way, the other night I drove through the village on the way home and was very excited to see the security company truck patrolling the area. I immediately slammed on the brakes and drove really slowly and stopped at all the houses (many of the emails are about people driving slowly through the neighborhood and stopping at houses). I was hoping to get a shout out on the email list. Apparently my skin is dark, but not that dark.

just when you thought you were safe...

I know I haven't posted about class in a while but it was a doozy tonight!!

There are two men in my class and tonight one of them did a presentation on hymen reconstruction surgery to restore a woman's virginity. The man moved to the United States from Lebanon four years ago to attend college. He was brave enough to share the experience that led him to this country. When he was 17 years old his family arranged a marriage for he and a woman from a neighboring village. He explained the importance of a woman being a virgin when she gets married and that if she is not a virgin, she will either not get married, be killed, or be buried alive. After a few months of marriage, he found out that his wife had hymen reconstruction surgery. They immediately divorced and he said nothing happened to her, she just returned to her village to live with her family. He then shared that he thought it was really wrong that all these women were having this surgery and lying to their husbands. He also said he thought it was wrong that the doctors were performing the surgery knowing that the women are getting it so they can lie to their husbands. He said that because his wife lied, his family's name could have been ruined. He was so embarrassed that he had to leave and decided to attend college in the U.S. instead of stay and face the looks and what people would say. Obviously I cannot judge this man for what he thinks and feels. He went through something that was very terrible for him.

What shocked me most was my professor's comment. She said she agreed that the doctors shouldn't perform the surgery knowing that the women are lying to their husbands. And then she went on to share that doctors in this country don't perform this surgery because it is unethical to support a lie like that.

Nobody said anything about the reason that women even get the surgery in the first place. Again, I can't imagine what this guy went through and what a nightmare it must have been. But how is getting your name dragged through the mud worse than not ever getting married (in a society that most likely doesn't value single women very much), being killed, or being buried alive? It just seemed to me that talking about the reasons a woman would need to get the surgery would be more important than judging the lie she told and had to go to such extreme lengths to pull off.

But what the hell do I know. I'm just a liberal social worker.

assholes.

I just talked to my supervisor on the phone. She called to make sure I had heard about the black mold problem in my building. While we were talking she mentioned that the "mold people" were there on Friday to test and would have the results in two weeks. I asked if they had a different company test than last time because the last company obviously didn't do a very good job. Silence. It turns out, the lovely agency I work for didn't test for black mold before they moved Brenda and I to the building.

So. There are 5 buildings on the property. They found black mold in two of them because the ceilings caved in due to leaky roofs. One of the buildings is not useable because the roof caved in and destroyed everything. And they decide to move me to another building and don't even test the damn thing for black mold? Why would they assume that this building that is just as old as and hadn't been taken any better care of than the others was okay?

This pathetic excuse of a social service agency is about to experience the wrath of me. I probably would have been better off if I had continued smoking. At least then I was outside and using a filter.

Some guy took this picture for us. I didn't realize he was a mile away.

I am laughing my ass off in this photo because the photographer asked if we were on our honeymoon and Jesse answered "yes."

We love horse statues!

black mold

My co-worker, Brenda, called me this week to tell me that we have been displaced...again. We had been moved out of our offices a while back because black mold was discovered. The assholes I work for supposedly had the building we moved into tested. Apparently they didn't because this week they found a ton of black mold in the basement. No wonder I blow my nose and sneeze all day at work. I seriously thought I was still paying for 13 years of smoking. I know I've been threatening to leave this agency for the past 2 years. But now that I know they can't even look out for my basic health needs, it might be time to go. Sharing an office so small that we both can't push our chairs back at the same time has been a pain in the ass but I've done it. Using a phone that was donated to the shelter for 2 months because my phone broke and hasn't been replaced hasn't been ideal but it works. Not being told to pick up a Sam's card was stupid but really doesn't affect my ability to get my job done. But this. Not even being able to breathe safely in my office is just ridiculous. I'm supposed to return to work on Monday. It will be interesting to run a shelter without an office.

thursday

We didn't have any games to go to and didn't fly out until Thursday night. It was shitty rainy weather and we didn't have any plans. So we decided to go to Dinosaur World. Awesome! No really! It was!! Because of the rain we were the only people there. And I learned more about dinosaurs and animals that weren't dinosaurs than I ever thought possible!

After Dinosaur World we headed to Tampa to find something to do until it was time to go to the airport. We did a drive by of Legends Field, where the Yankees play for spring training. Holy shit! Their spring training facility is huge and nicer than Comerica. I wanted to vomit.

On our way to the next undetermined destination Jesse's cell phone rang. He answered it and it was our alarm company telling him the alarm had just been tripped. He called Paula, who had been so kind as to look after Willie, Barbaro and Charlie, and she said she was at the house a half hour earlier. He called the alarm company back and told them to go ahead and dispatch the police. What a nightmare. There we were in Tampa not knowing if someone was cleaning our house out while we could do nothing about it. We did what we knew best and went to a bar. Jesse called Paula back and asked her to go back to the house to meet the police. After about 20 minutes he called the alarm company back and they said the police hadn't gone yet. I called Joanna and she checked Jesse's website. Since he serves that from home, if someone had stolen the computer it wouldn't have worked. We were relieved when Joanna said it worked. After what felt like 4 hours, Paula called Jesse and said everything was fine. All the doors were locked and the windows were closed and locked and nobody was in the house. This was at least an hour after we received the call from the alarm company. Jesse called them to tell them not to send the police. It's a good thing someone hadn't really broken in. They would have been long gone by the time the police showed up! What a pain in the ass.

I already wrote about seeing Maggs at the Apple Store. I'm still pissed that I couldn't talk to him either.

What a fun trip to Florida! We already decided next year it's Holy Land Experience and the pirate dinner show. Oh yeah!!!!!!!

wednesday

Headed back to St. Petersburg but this time saw the Tigers and the Devil Rays.

I bought lawn tickets for this game because I figured we already saw the Tigers play a couple games and didn't need to pay for great seats. What a pain in the ass! If you ever go to Progress Energy Park, I suggest you don't buy left field berm tickets. We went in the park and watched batting practice, bought some beer and some water and decided to go check out the lawn area. Come to find out, the ticket taking old man never should have let us in to the regular seating area. The ticket taking old lady had to call some supervisor lady named Norma. Thank God for Norma! Norma said she would walk us to the left field berm area to tell that guy to let us in, even though our tickets were already taken. A few steps outside of the gate the ticket taking old lady told Jesse he couldn't take his beer with him. Norma was waiting so Jesse threw his beer away. *gasp* When we got to the left field berm gate the ticket taking old man didn't want to let us in until Norma explained to him the other guy accidentally let us in. Then the old man didn't want to let us in with the water we had just bought. Norma told him it was okay. Whew. I was pretty annoyed at this point but Jesse reminded me that these people were just trying to do their jobs. But then when the security guy told me I couldn't bring my bottle of water I just paid $3 for at the same goddamn ball park into the area I almost lost my mind. I told him I could bring my water in and Norma said so. He said he didn't know who Norma was. But I must have looked more psycho than usual because he didn't really say anything else.

I'm torn because that whole experience sucked. But the visiting team's bullpen is right in front of the left field berm. So it felt like I was hanging out with Lance Parrish for the entire game. And we got to see Mike Maroth, Ugueth Urbina, Magglio Ordonez, Bobby Higginson, Brandon Inge, and Bob Cluck all up close! There were probably others that I can't remember right now. It was very cool.

After the game we headed to Clearwater for dinner. It rained really hard and according to the tv at the restaurant, there was a tornado watch. Nice! We went back to Lakeland and were trying to figure out what to do for the evening. I decided to drive down the road our hotel was on a little bit further. The front desk person had mentioned a mall farther down the road. We went around the corner and there was a Best Buy, Circuit City, Target and a bzillion restaurants. So that's where Lakeland buys cd's! We went to Target and they sold wine there! Jesse picked a bottle of Merlot and we bought a cork screw and headed back to the hotel.

Wednesday night was spent drinking wine and watching Survivor. Nice! Sad. I know.

tuesday

We went to Progress Energy Park in St. Petersburg to see the Red Sox play the Devil Rays. I wasn't able to get tickets to Red Sox spring training so figured the next best thing would be to see them at an away game. Since we got there ridiculously early we were able to watch Red Sox batting practice. It was nice to see them again, too!! Our tickets were pretty good and the Red Sox won!

After the game we decided to head to Derby Lane for some doggie entertainment. We got there at 5:30PM and the races didn't start until 7:30PM. On our way through Tampa we had noticed a Best Buy just off the freeway so we went back and bought a CD. I was super crabby so it wasn't very fun. Once the doggies came out I felt much better and made some shitty bets on loser dogs. Jesse won some money and even though I lost, I still loved it. I did struggle with the inhumaneness of it all but Jesse said that if we ever get a dog we can adopt a greyhound and it made it all better. I guess.

monday

This blogging thing is exhausting. I had to take a food break.

On Monday the Tigs didn't play until 6:05PM so we decided to go to Gatorland in the morning. We waited for the elevator to come to take us down to the first floor. Imagine my surprise when the elevator door opened and Willie Horton walked out. I couldn't breathe and definitely couldn't speak. Sometimes I hate myself. I wonder if I have been spending too much time with Amanda. When we go to Gibraltar Trade Center to get autographs she gets really nervous and her palms sweat. I'm okay with standing in a line and meeting baseball players. But apparently I am completely inept in making conversation with a baseball player in the real world. Anyway, when we were in the elevator and the door had closed I asked Jesse if he had notice Willie Horton. He said he noticed the short fat man looked familiar but couldn't place him. Willie Horton was staying on the same floor as us!

Gatorland was a trip. The ticket lady said Gatorland is so cool that Johnny Damon and his wife had been there the day before. Lots of alligators and crocodiles. Unfortunately, it rained really really hard and we had to miss the train ride and the alligator wrestling.

The game was great. Split squad sucks a little bit but we got to see a lot of starters play for most of the game. I'd like to say that the Tigs were looking strong but they just weren't. Rondell White was definitely looking good, though! It was so nice to watch baseball again.

Still hadn't found a place to buy a cd.

sunday

In all of the ipod madness and mayhem we didn't bother packing any cd's for the trip. Luckily Tampa has some pretty good classic rock stations. We decided to go cd shopping just in case. Unfortunately, we could not find a cd store. No Best Buy, no Circuit City, no local record store. Lakeland isn't very big so I figured we could keep looking but if we didn't find anything we could shop in Tampa.

The first game we saw was at 1:05 at Joker Marchant Stadium. The Tigers played the Mets. We had pretty good seats for the game and it was hot and sunny! Unfortunately, the dude sitting next to me was from Michigan and wore stinky wool socks with Birkenstocks. Yeah. Not sure he was from Michigan because I never talked to him, but I'm pretty sure only an asshole from Michigan would go out in 80 degree weather in that getup. He was with his son, not sure about that either but it was a younger guy, who was full of useless baseball facts that he insisted on sharing with dear ol' dad and since I was sitting two seats down, he shared them with me too. I learned things like, "Nomar Garciaparra is one of 5 players in MLB that do not want music played when they go to the plate to bat." SHUT THE FUCK UP! I couldn't take it anymore so we left our seats and went out to the lawn. It was so nice and breezy and beautiful and I couldn't hear those losers anymore!

Unfortunately we could not stay for the whole game because we needed to make sure we got to Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede by 5PM. That's right. You all read correctly. I had been wanting to go but was kind of wavering. For any of you that might be wavering, don't. You have to go. It was fanFUCKINGtastic!! Instead of giving you all the details, I will just mention highlights:

Australian guy in a costume with lightbulbs riding a horse in a costume with lightbulbs
buffalo
piggies
people riding ostriches
lots of horses
magic tricks
yankees and confederates
giant portrait of Dolly above the stairs
whole little chicken on my plate

Oh yeah. You have to go. Really. The only disappointing part was that cameras were not allowed.

saturday

After not sleeping much Friday night I was pretty ready to hit the road and go to Florida for some baseball! We got to the airport pretty early and ate lunch at BB King's Bar and Grill. Our server was a very crabby lady who put a sweet pickle in my bloody mary. What was she thinking? Yuck. I'm pretty sure if B.B. King ate there he would take his name off the place.

The flight was pretty uneventful except I sat next to a very strange man who interrupted my ipod listening to show me a part in his book about a tsunami. He couldn't believe that this book that was written in 2001 had something about a tsunami in it. After smacking him upside the head I asked him to never interrupt the ipod listening. Then I told him that tsunamis have been around for much longer than 2001 and he should get the internet and read all about it.

We arrived in Tampa and found our rental car. It was a very lovely silver Malibu Maxx . We headed to Lakeland to check into our hotel, the Holiday Inn and Conference Center, and find some dinner. Even though this was the third time I had been to Lakeland, I had no idea where anything was. We ended up eating at Harry's Seafood Bar and Grille in Lakeland. At first the service sucked but when we said something about the sucky service, they bought drinks for us and kissed our asses. Nice.

Traveling is exhausting so I'm pretty sure we went back to the hotel and crashed.

Boring day. I don't think they get much more exciting so if you are reading, you might want to stop.

vacation news.

Okay here's my plan. I'm going to post a separate blog for each day of our little vacation. That way you don't have to read any of it. I'm so thoughtful.

But first I have to tell you that I love home. Vacation was awesome and much needed. But it feels so good to be home! This morning I'm sitting here enjoying good coffee (that means there is lots of Baileys involved!) and emailing and blogging and not worrying about work... well maybe a little bit of worrying about work but it'll be okay.

home.

It's midnight and Jesse and I are officially home. This means that we are sitting in the living room typing on our laptops not talking to one another. Ah yes, it's good to be home.

After a strange day of getting a phone call from our alarm company that the burglar alarm had been tripped at our house and having them dispatch the police to check it out and then calling Paula and having her go to the house and then her calling back and saying that everything was okay and nobody broke in and calling the alarm company back after 45 minutes to tell them to not dispatch the police which was good because the police hadn't made it yet anyway and then seeing Magglio Ordonez at the Apple Store in Tampa and being so star struck that I couldn't say anything we finally made it back to my dear ol' Detroit.

Some other stuff happened in there too but I'm too tired to tell you right now. You'll just have to wait. I'm sure I'll have time tomorrow because I'm supposed to write a paper and make up a presentation for class on Tuesday. It will be much more fun to tell you about our trip to Florida instead.

TTFN!

last game until april 4

We're in Florida and I'm loving it! The weather has been kind of cooperative. We got rained out of Gatorland. Bummer!

I don't have much time right now. The hotel has a shitty ass computer and the connection is tenuous at best. And Jesse is waiting for me so we can go to breakfast.

See you in the D.

good morning. i think.

It's 6:30AM. On a Saturday. On the first day of vacation. I woke up when Barbaro Garbey was playing quite loudly with my ipod headphones and I couldn't get back to sleep. This sucks.

On a more positive note, I'm sitting here importing music onto my ipod, watching Sex and the City season 6 and looking out the window at the snow covered land. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA. Our flight leaves at 4:10PM. According to the internet, it will be 74 degrees in Lakeland today. And there is also some baseball in the forecast. All is well.

Except that it is now 6:37AM and I'm awake. On a Saturday. On the first day of vacation. Stupid cat.

it's getting better!

This is an email response regarding the last thing I posted about what to say to shovelers at the door.

"do you have the conversation through a locked door? if not, you are surely putting yourself at significant personal risk"

Yes. You probably shouldn't unlock the door. Ever. And you should probably call the police on every black man you see. If you don't, you are surely putting yourself at significant personal risk. Seriously.

These emails are cracking me up!!!!!!!

Okay here's another Indian Village email. This is a response to another email about a scary black man offering to shovel at 11:30PM. Apparently he was wielding a shovel. And then when the person said no, they walked away carrying said shovel.

Here's the response...

"when this sort of thing happens, i am inclined to tell the individual something like this:

"it is not appropriate for you to ask at my door, particularly at this hour. we have a communication system and neighborhood watch, and people are suspicious when they encounter this behavior, and the neighborhood is usually notified right away. also, are you aware of the no solicitation stickers? it is not lawful to approach houses displaying such stickers, and doing so puts you at risk. i just wanted you to be aware, and would hate to see you get into trouble if you are sincerely trying to find some work. "

i am putting this out generally for feedback, as some of you may have a point of view or other experience to consider that i've not thought of. my intention is twofold: to preserve the dignity of the individual with compassion and by not making assumptions; and also to preserve the integrity and safety of the neighborhood and our individual homes/lives/well being."

Just so you know, I'm printing this up and posting it next to my door so the next time someone comes to the door I will know what to say. Apparently my usual response of a polite "no thank you" was not correct.

alert! alert!!

Please read the following Indian Village update. It is very important.

"A** S**** reports two husky black males near Mack. One is carrying a green shower curtain rod much like the one they found after a break=in at their home. The other has a grey and red back-pack. Could be nothing, but when she saw the shower curtain rod she became concerned.
J***"

Is this funny to anyone besides me?

do i have "psychic" written on my forehead?

Today I had a voicemail from a guy I work with. I'm not sure what his role in the agency is. He supervises the maintenance workers and he orders office supplies and word on the street is he takes an hour and a half each day figuring out what he wants to eat for lunch. I actually avoid this guy because he is really annoying. In order to tell you something, he gives you a 15 minute oral history of whatever it is he wants to say. What a pain in the ass. I don't have time for his shit! Anyway, his 10 minute voicemail went a little like this:

"Uh hello uh Jenny. This is R***. I just talked to the Sam's Club representative and he updated me on the list of who in the agency has cards out and who is authorized to have a card and never picked it up. Uh you are on that list and I am wondering why you never picked your card up. Do you still want a card? We can have 8 cards out and if you want one, that would be 9 people so we need to know. If you think you really need a card then maybe we can make arrangements to get a 9th card. But it might be difficult. So if you could think about whether or not you still need the card and get back to me so I know what to tell the Sam's Club representative."

I called him back and our conversation went a little like this:

J: Hi R***. I didn't pick up a card because nobody ever told me I was authorized for one or that I should pick one up.

R: Didn't you request one?

J: No.

R: Well you've been authorized for one for a really long time. It looks like since you have been at the agency. Oh it was in someone else's name and was transferred to you.

J: How was I supposed to know this?

R: I guess someone should have told you.

J: Guess so.

R: Do you need one? Because there are other people in the agency that have them if you ever need anything from Sam's.

J: No I don't need one. I've been managing without one for this long. I think I'll make it.

R: Oh good because we already have 8 people who need them.

J: Yeah that's what your voicemail said. Hey next time I'm authorized for something it would be really helpful if someone would tell me. Thanks! *click*

Sometimes I really hate my job.

myspace.com

Why is it that when my profile said I was a divorced parent with a high school education a bunch of men wanted to add me to their friend list. But when I changed it to a single woman with no kids and a college degree, I haven't had one request to be added to anybody's friend list?

I think I'll change it up again and see what happens. Stay tuned...

family fun

I hate 12 hour work days. A long time ago I agreed to do a training for another agency. What the hell was I thinking? I definitely wasn't thinking it would go until 9:15PM. I had to drive like a motherfather to get home in time to tape Law & Order: SVU because Jesse called and said he forgot to set the VCR. Yes. It is time. Jesse, if you are reading this. I think we need TiVo. It was snowing really hard in Ann Arbor so I was a little afraid of dying. But I made it. And now instead of watching Law & Order: SVU, I am sitting here emailing and blogging. Luckily I am a very good driver and got home in time to press "record".

A big moment in my blogging history occurred this evening. I sent the link to my brother. After I sent the email I thought "OH shit I hope there isn't anything on here I don't want him to read." Too late now! And really, the chances of him checking it out in the first place might be slim. And the chances of him returning are slim to none. I like to think I am exciting and funny and smart. But I also think I'm realistic and know I'm really not that exciting. Or funny. Or smart.

*sigh*

Put me in coach. I'm ready to play. Today.

vacation is coming!

I'm finally starting to get excited about the upcoming trip to Florida. I've been looking forward to it but vacations are always a bit of a pain in the ass. Making sure everything at work is in place sucks because I can never plan for all the shit that will happen while I'm gone. And when I do get back, it will take at least a week to figure out what happened and why and who I have to kick out of the shelter for the bad shit they did. BUT. It will be so nice to see baseball again and hopefully the weather will be warm and sunny. At this point, I don't even care if we make it to Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede. Which is probably why I haven't bothered to get the tickets yet. I'm not sure I can justify paying $50 per person just to watch some horses run around in crazy outfits while eating a shitty 5 course meal. Maybe we will just drive up there and shop at the gift shop. Christmas is just around the corner after all.

that reminds me

A long time ago Tanya, Joel, Rick and I were at a restaurant on our way to an Elvis Costello concert at Pine Knob. Oh wait, I mean DTE Energy Music Theatre. Anyway, Tanya is a social worker at a high school. She was telling us about her box of sympathy cards for when students die. She told us she called it her "death box."

Nice.

shopping saturday

Jesse and I leave for Florida a week from today!! YAY! This morning we thought we should pick up a couple important items we will need for our trip.

I got an ipod and Jesse got an ipod shuffle. WHEW. We are all ready to go now.

overheard at harry's family restaurant this morning

"Would you like a small box for your sausage?"

'nuff said.

i'm an insensitive bastard

A friend of mine, who is also Joanna's husband, recently had gastric bypass surgery. She blogged about the inappropriate get well wishes he has received, namely a big ol' basket of snacks. This morning I was working on getting the box of get well goodies that I put together ready to mail out. The phone repair guy was sitting in the same room waiting to do something. He noticed the box I was taping up and addressing and said, "You know whoever you are sending that to is going to think they are getting Girl Scout cookies." I gave him my best evil grin and said, "I know."

It's a good thing Joanna and John have the best senses of humor EVER!

thanks. i think.

There is a woman who is insisting on donating her collection of 300 Beanie Babies to the shelter. Does she really think homeless people need beanie babies? Does she really think PEOPLE need beanie babies? I'm hoping we will sell them on Ebay and make some money. I need a raise. How sad would it be if I got a raise from selling beanie babies? My life in a nonprofit agency. Pitiful, my friends. Pitiful.

snow snow snow!

The agency I work for has a policy that if the schools are closed, we are closed. I guess I should say the agency I work for had that policy. This winter there has been lots of snow. The first couple times the schools closed the agency closed. Now the executive director has decided that the agency will remain open, even though every school in Michigan is closed. I made the decision to stay home anyway.

I love snow days! Even if they are self-declared. Actually, the self-declared ones might be even better. The executive director can officially kiss my ass. That's my new policy.