monday. yuck.

I just wrote the most brilliant post and then it disappeared. I pushed the little "Publish Post" button and it disappeared. Damn it!

I would try to recreate it but I just don't think it's possible.

Brilliant I tell you. Just brilliant.

This is the lovely stain my supervisor's coffee made on the conference room carpet. I get to see it every time I walk in the door...lovely.

church

I went to church today.

On my way to church I almost ran over a man in the street. He crossed the street most of the way and then his buddy yelled something at him and he turned around to go back. I had to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting him. And then he had the balls to point straight at me and yell obscenities at me. So I yelled obscenities back at him. Of course my windows were closed and so he couldn't hear me. I'm sure we both could read enough lips to know we weren't happy with one another. This all happened on VanDyke right in front of the church on VanDyke and Mack.

During church they have a children's story. All the little kids go up to the front of the sanctuary, sit on the steps and listen to a story. One kid picked his nose the entire time. I couldn't stop laughing. Nasty. And no, the kid wasn't related to me.

It's time to study. I've been procrastinating all day.

lunch. yummy lunch.

Jesse and I met Phil and Karen for lunch today at the Grizzly Peak Brewpub in Ann Arbor. Their menu had a couple new things on there so I tried the patty melt burger. It kind of sucked a little bit. Why did they think it was a good idea to put a round hamburger on oval pieces of bread?

Phil and Karen are awesome. I met Phil several years ago when I was working at the American Red Cross and he was a volunteer. Last year Jesse and I got to attend Phil's surprise 70th birthday party. My favorite line from lunch was when Phil said, "Jerry had to get his urethra enlarged." Good times to be had by all...except Jerry.

whew

It's been a long ass week. I had Monday off of work but it doesn't feel like it. I'm exhausted! The homeless were especially squirrelly this week and ran me ragged. Between that and my crazy supervisor, I'm ready for the weekend.

Last night I got home from work at 8. Jesse and I went to the Dakota Inn for dinner. They don't have a band on the last Thursday of the month but we thought we'd go anyway. It was really creepy because we were the only customers there. The service was great. Except the waitress didn't sing to us like she sang to Kristin the last time we were there.

This morning when I got in my car the "check engine" light came on. Actually, the light says "check" and then there is a picture of something that I think must be the "engine". The picture actually looks more like a submarine or a messed up helicopter. But my little Mazda Protege does not have either of those. And I think it has an engine. Anyway, I was planning on taking my car to AutoZone or Murray's to have the nice employee hook up their computer to my little car. But I didn't have to because this afternoon the light went off. I hate it when my car cries wolf.

My world has been turned upside down. The bidding on the Barbaro Garbey baseball bat is now at $102.50. What is happening? Is this the end? I just don't understand. Will somebody explain it to me? Please??

I remember when my Friday nights (and Saturday and Sunday and Wednesday and Thursday nights) were full of drinking and bar hopping. Now they are full of doing laundry and going to bed early. Maybe I need to take vitamins or something.

My grammar sucks tonight. All the time. I've edited this damn post 3 times now. Screw it. I'm done.

heavy heart

There is a baseball bat used by Barbaro Garbey for sale on Ebay. Of course I bid on it. And now someone has outbid me. At first I was a little excited because I thought, "Wow! There's another Barbaro Garbey fan out there!" and then I thought, "It must be Joel." But when I looked, it is a member called zanebats. And they are selling bats too. They don't care about Barbaro Garbey. I decided to outbid them. But I stopped at $22. Hopefully they will buy it for $22.50 and then be stuck with it. Because I am all alone. Nobody else wants a bat used by Barbaro Garbey. And I refuse to pay $22.50 for it.

It's a good thing I'm not a Cal Ripken, Jr. fan because his bat is going for a lot more.

enough is enough

My supervisor is driving me coconuts.

A couple weeks ago she told me she thought a new staff member is stupid.

Yesterday she spilled a big ol' cup of coffee on the floor of our conference room and didn't bother to clean it up. Not even a little bit. So now it looks like someone took a big ol' piss on the carpet.

Then today she told me she is going to tell my co-worker, who is moving on to greener pastures at another non-profit agency, about the surprise goodbye potluck my other co-worker had planned for her.

She's lost her mind. I'll keep you posted.

heart attack

A few years ago my dad had a pretty bad heart attack. I happened to be staying at my parents' house that weekend. My mom was very upset and scared. While she and I were at the hospital waiting to find out if he was going to be okay or not, she said "It's the damn bacon. He eats bacon every morning. It's going to kill him." I don't think this is helping people with heart conditions to stop eating bacon.

witness this

When Jesse and I moved to the D back in September I had an irrational fear of gas stations in the city. I pictured myself getting robbed or murdered at the pump so I would fill up in Ypsilanti or anywhere along the route between Ypsi and Detroit.

Apparently I feared the wrong thing.

Shortly after moving here I didn't plan well and had to fill up my empty tank in the city. There is a BP station not far from home, on the corner of Vernor and Mt. Elliott. One morning I went there to get some gas. Imagine the fear in my heart when a woman approached me with her hands in her pockets. I was getting ready to grab the pump and douse her with gasoline when she greeted me and was very friendly. Next thing I knew she was offering me a free magazine! WOW! It's my lucky day! I was so relieved and happy! Then I looked at the magazine and it was the Watchtower magazine. That's right. I wasn't being robbed or murdered. It was worse. I was being accosted by a Jehovah's Witness. She saw the look on my face and very quickly asked me if I believed and blah blah blah I blocked the rest out. I do remember shaking my head and saying "no no no no no no no I don't want your magazine. No no no no no no no thank you."

I warned Jesse to never go to that gas station. Ever.

Of course I did not listen to my own advice and had to go back a couple months ago. It was rainy and gross. As I started to pump the gas I noticed a red minivan parked against the wall. A woman got out and started walking toward me. The fear returned to my heart. Sure enough it was another freaking Jehovah's Witness. GO AWAY!! LET ME PUMP MY GAS!!

It doesn't happen every time. I think I've been there twice without being approached by anybody.

Saturday morning before I left for Grand Rapids I told Jesse that I had to stop and get gas at the BP. I asked him to say a prayer for me that I would not get accosted by the JW. He said he would. I pulled up to the pump and noticed a red minivan parked against the wall. And sure enough, a man walked up to me and asked me if I believe in miracles. I put on a really sad face and told him it really wasn't a good day for that. He asked if he could give me a free magazine. I politely declined and he went back to his red van. Then I called Jesse and asked if he misunderstood and prayed for me to get accosted by the JW. He said he forgot and didn't pray either way. I thought he loved me.

I do not believe in miracles. However, if I am left alone at that damn gas station, I just might change my mind.

weekend

Saturday morning I took off for Grand Rapids. Thanks to a wonderful radar detector and clear roads I was able to get there in about 2 hours and 15 minutes. Not bad! It also helped that the South Beltline was open.

What a fun trip! Sometimes I get so wrapped up in all the drama of commuting and homeless people that I forget that life can be fun. I never forget that it can be funny, but that's different. Anyway, we went sledding and went to dinner and hung out and just relaxed. Whew! OH! And we went to church. Yeah yeah, I know, the walls didn't burst into flames when I walked in.

There was a winter storm yesterday so instead of taking 2 hours and 15 minutes to get home, it took 4 hours. What a nightmare. Next time the TV says "winter storm warning", I am staying put. Sitting for so long made my coccyx pretty sore.

I have the day off today for President's Day. Time to go make some coffee with some Bailey's. Oh, I mean time to go study.

hubcap!!

If you lost your hubcap, it is probably on eastbound I-94, right at the end of the construction section (about a mile and a half before the Livernois exit). It might be difficult to find it among the 50 or so that lay on the left side of the road. Good luck!

This is how I found my car this morning. I wish I had thought to do this myself. Hopefully it will snow tonight...

life's lessons

Today in class I learned that Mexicans come to Michigan in the summers to do road construction because they work well in the heat. They are used to it, you know. I also learned that all immigrants should come and stay with family and shouldn't use our taxes for welfare. If they don't have family to stay with then they shouldn't come. But really that doesn't make sense because all immigrants have family here.

I learned all of this from one woman. Unfortunately she was not willing to discuss these lessons any further. She just said that this is the way it is and she knows it.

And now I know it too.

ponies

Now that the herpes are gone, let's play!

I94 and I96

It is really stinky. Rotten eggs. Someone opened the fridge. Yuck.

going for a visit.

On Saturday I will be going to Grand Rapids to visit Joanna and Erica and their families. Now that I've been doing this blog thing I think I have told all of my fun stories. When I was driving home this afternoon I had a slight anxiety attack while thinking we won't have anything to talk about. I envision our conversations going a little like this:
Jen: The other day I was driving to work...
Joanna: Yeah, I know. A black Taurus cut you off and you got pissed. Zander said the funniest thing the other day...
Jen: Oh yeah! The one about Zoe being too skinny.
*silence*
*silence*
*silence*
Joanna: Well you can go home now.

Blogging is ruining my life.

broken promise.

This morning before I left for work I promised Jesse I wouldn't have road rage.

It only took 3 minutes to break that promise.

I was heading west on Vernor and stopped at the red light at Mt. Elliott. There was a line of cars on Mt. Elliott waiting to turn left onto Vernor. Their light turned red, mine turned green. I started out slowly because I wanted to wait for the car waiting to turn in the intersection to complete their turn. Imagine my surprise when the car behind them went. And imagine my rage when the car behind them went too.

So, to the black Taurus that turned left off of Mt. Elliott onto Vernor this morning at 8:05AM, license plate, WJX 287, FUCK YOU.

And Jesse, I apologize for breaking my promise.

vacation

Apparently I am taking a blogging vacation. This week has been pretty boring. Nothing really worth saying.

Yesterday I was tailgating this car that was going the speed limit through construction and I couldn't get around. When I finally did get around I looked at the driver and it was an 80 year old white guy. I felt a little bad for tailgating but then he flipped me off. It was hysterical. I started to laugh. Then I felt bad for laughing at him.

My life has come to driving stories. And homeless stories.

Yikes!!

shut up. now. i mean it.

In January I wrote about a woman whom I referred to as, "Class Moron." I changed my mind. She doesn't deserve such a kind description.

Tonight this woman talked non-stop. And everything that came out of her mouth was shit. She did not let anyone finish what they were saying. And she agreed with what everyone said. Including me...when I was disagreeing with something she said. Did I mention she did not stop talking?

Imagine my disappointment when the professor let her dominate the classroom and at times encouraged her to talk by asking her questions. The rest of the class was looking pretty annoyed too. Even Jesse's co-worker was about to lose her mind on this woman.

too much law and order??

Last week I wrote about an intern reading a note I left on the door of one of the families at the shelter. As of today I still hadn't heard from the family so I went to the shelter apartment to see if they were there. The notes the intern and I had left were still stuck in the door so I unlocked the door and started to walk in.

That's when visions of dead people entered my head. Suddenly I felt like I was experiencing the first few minutes of a Law and Order episode and I was sure I was going to find a family of dead homeless people in the apartment. I went from room to room and didn't find any dead people.

Note to self: change the channel.

i forgot

I just read joanna's blog and it reminded me of something that happened...

Saturday night Joel and I went to see the U of M icers play MSU at Joe Louis Arena. The game kind of sucked, they ended up tying 1-1 and Michigan just didn't play like the champion team they are.

On the way to the game we cut through Cobo and as we were walking down the hall a young boy was puking. Why does this always happen to me?? He didn't just puke a little. And it was orange. Like a push-up pop or a creamsicle. When I realized what was happening in front of me I yelled, "Oh GOD!!" and ran to the other side of the hall.

Joel said I made the kid cry. I say if he wasn't already crying, he needed to be.

Rondell and I got to snuggle at Tigerfest.

belle isle fun.

On Saturday we went to the Belle Isle Aquarium. Everyone needs to go. Quick! Before it closes! And maybe if enough people go, they won't close it. My favorite part of the aquarium was the electric eel that made noises that made me ask, "Who opened the fridge?"

After the aquarium we meandered over to the conservatory. It was a beautiful sunny day so everything in the conservatory was bright and pretty. My favorite part of the conservatory was the plant called "tongueleaf."

Then we went to the Casino to catch the end of the "Shiver on the River" event sponsored by the Friends of Belle Isle. For those of you who do not know, there is not gambling at the Casino on Belle Isle. Sorry Kristin! Unfortunately, even though the fliers all said Shiver on the River went until 4PM, they were wrapping things up when we arrived at 3:15PM. We got to wander around the building a bit. Apparently there is a pool league that plays upstairs. They have posters with the scores and their photos. My favorite part of the Casino was the posters with the pool players photos.

The dude at the Casino said there was still stuff going on at the Belle Isle Nature Zoo so we headed down there. Upon arrival we noticed an insane amount of salt in the parking lot. We think that they dumped a huge pile there so they don't have to return to that parking lot again all winter. There was a lovely sign that said "Welcome Shiver on the River Guest". We decided that meant we could enter one at a time. Imagine my surprise when we walked in the door and they were putting tables and chairs away. We missed Shiver on the River at the Nature Zoo too. But they did have greyhounds! At first Joel and I thought we were there in time for the races. But after a second look, the greyhounds were far too fat and we realized they were retired and had been adopted by some do-gooders. Several staff people told us they were closing up but there was an owl presentation going on in the auditorium. We skipped the auditorium and checked out the nature exhibits. One exhibit was written about using alternatives to salt in your driveway because salt is bad for the environment. It gets in the ground and messes with the water and all the animals will die. I guess the city forgot about that when they dumped the salt piles in the parking lot. My favorite part of the Nature Zoo was the salt piles in the parking lot.

We finally came to terms with the fact that we missed Shiver on the River and went to dinner at Sweetwater Tavern. My favorite part of dinner was when Kristin said she thought Paul's name was Fernando.

I love Belle Isle and friends.

nosey intern.

This afternoon I went to pick up a dude staying at the shelter. He wasn't there so I wrote a note telling him I was there and asking him to give me a call. I folded it and stuck it in between the door and the door jam.

20 minutes later I got a call from one of the students doing her internship at the shelter. She said she was supposed to meet with the dude's wife but they weren't there. She said she had noticed I was there and she left a note for them too. I told her if I heard from them I'd have them call to reschedule.

3 minutes after the phone call ended I realized that she had to have opened the note I left and read it! I'd like to think that if I went to someone's house and there was a note on their door I would not read it.

But I probably would. So if you don't want me reading your shit, you'd better be home when I come over.

things i hate

Sorting recycling.
Scooping cat poop.
Cleaning cat hair off the couch.
MSU hockey.

It's been a long week and I'm crabby.

On the way home from work tonight I was stuck in traffic. I wasn't very happy about it. But then I looked and I was next to a hearse. I don't know if the driver had a passenger in the back. Getting stuck in traffic would suck even more if you had a dead person with you.

Maybe my day wasn't so bad after all.

treasure shopping

Please be careful!! It's a dangerous world out there...

ferndale

Thank GOD we moved to Detroit and not drug infested Ferndale!

whew

Finally, someone cares about the important issues in Detroit.

gmail

I love gmail. Who wouldn't? It's 1000MB of free storage. Every once in a while they give me invitations to gmail to give to my friends. At first it was cool. Then it was a little embarrassing because I couldn't find anyone to give them to. Now I am pretty sure they are mocking me. Today 50 invitations showed up. The volume wasn't turned up on my computer but I'm pretty sure if it was, I would have heard gmail laughing at me.

So if you or anyone you know wants gmail, let me know. I'll show them...

sick day

I woke up this morning feeling healthy and robust. So I called in sick to work so I could get a bunch of errands and school work done. Shhh... nobody from work is reading this. Right?

One of the things on my list was to go to Costco to get a membership and purchase fun things. What a wonderful place! Everyone should ditch their Sam's membership and sign up with Costco. Actually, I have no idea how Sam's compares to Costco because I never really shopped at Sam's. But when you shop at Costco you get the good feeling that you are not giving money to the G.O.P. That's worth a lot! Anyway, next time I go I'm going to pick out a casket.