Today I was behind a car with a bumper sticker that read:
ABORTION!!
WHAT PART OF 'THOU SHALT NOT KILL'
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND??
A couple things came to mind...
war, capital punishment, war, genocide, war
Monday, January 31, 2005
i'm so old
Last Thursday one of the girls at the shelter got in a fight at school and was suspended for two days. She actually was defending herself when another girl punched her, but because of the school's zero tolerance policy, she still got suspended. Today I accompanied she and her mother to a meeting at the school with one of the other girls involved in the fight and her mom. The assistant principal and the police officer that works in the district also attended the meeting. One other girl and her dad were supposed to be there but they didn't show up. Word on the street is that dad is too doped up to go anywhere.
What a nightmare of a meeting! The girls are 13 years old and waaaaaaay grown up. The other girl showed up in a very tight black t-shirt that had "bootylicious" written across her boobies in gold sparkly letters. Every other word out of her mouth was a swear word and her mother didn't mind. The assistant principal asked for her side of the story and next thing we knew the girls were screaming at each other across the table. It was really fun when neither the assistant principal nor the police officer did anything to stop them until the mothers were screaming at one another and there were threats from both the mothers and the 13 year old girls to beat the shit out of one another.
It actually turned out okay, with the girls finding out they actually had a lot more in common than any of us thought. And the mothers apologized to one another for yelling.
What made me feel really old was that when the girls were telling what happened, they talked about "mean muggin" and "grim". What? Huh?
I did feel a little bit better when I at least identified with the girls' dismay at the assistant principal's suggestion that telling on other girls that try to start shit will make the shit stop. I worried when at first the assistant principal was going to solve the fighting problem by making one of the girls switch all of her classes so she wouldn't be in the same area of the school as the other girl. But I felt better when she changed her mind.
Apparently correct usage is "I wasn't mean muggin." and "you was lookin grim at her." Yeah. Okay.
What a nightmare of a meeting! The girls are 13 years old and waaaaaaay grown up. The other girl showed up in a very tight black t-shirt that had "bootylicious" written across her boobies in gold sparkly letters. Every other word out of her mouth was a swear word and her mother didn't mind. The assistant principal asked for her side of the story and next thing we knew the girls were screaming at each other across the table. It was really fun when neither the assistant principal nor the police officer did anything to stop them until the mothers were screaming at one another and there were threats from both the mothers and the 13 year old girls to beat the shit out of one another.
It actually turned out okay, with the girls finding out they actually had a lot more in common than any of us thought. And the mothers apologized to one another for yelling.
What made me feel really old was that when the girls were telling what happened, they talked about "mean muggin" and "grim". What? Huh?
I did feel a little bit better when I at least identified with the girls' dismay at the assistant principal's suggestion that telling on other girls that try to start shit will make the shit stop. I worried when at first the assistant principal was going to solve the fighting problem by making one of the girls switch all of her classes so she wouldn't be in the same area of the school as the other girl. But I felt better when she changed her mind.
Apparently correct usage is "I wasn't mean muggin." and "you was lookin grim at her." Yeah. Okay.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
freaky friday
I knew Friday was not going to be a normal day when I started the day out by telling the executive director of the agency I work for that he stinks, as in smells bad, so he wouldn't sit by me in a meeting.
Kristin, Joel, Amanda and I went to the Holly Hotel in Holly, MI to see Members Only do some improvising. The comedy club is in the basement of the hotel and it was freezing! The staff had set up some space heaters but they didn't really help. It's a good thing the improv was fabulous!
After improv we went to Mr. B's in Clarkston to see the band, Good Gravy, play. For those of you who haven't been reading, Kristin's brothers are in the band. I had never been to Mr. B's and was impressed by the number of large trucks in the parking lot. The people there were great. There were women with big hair and tiger stripe shirts and men with gold chains and Hard Rock Cafe sweatshirts. Tony, an 80ish year old man, was there dancing in his Sunday best, a pastel plaid suit and gold tie. Impressive! This dude walked in and Joel and I commented that he looked familiar. We both thought he looked like Amanda's ex-boyfriend. And it was. I wonder if he frequents Mr. B's. I remembered that he liked the Journey so we asked the band if they knew any. Unfortunately they didn't. But after they were done playing they, with Kristin, sang some lovely Journey numbers a capella. I'm hoping they will perform some the next time I see them.
I rode with Kristin and on the way home she was driving down I-75 southbound. We were listening to an awesome song by The Postal Service when all of a sudden the truck in front of us swerved out of our lane. There was a dead deer right in the middle of our lane! Kristin and I screamed!! But it was too late!! BBBDUMPBUMPBUMP... bump. We ran over it. Thank God for Kristin's stellar driving skills. As she pointed out to the state police when she called to report the road hazard, it could have been dangerous if she had approached it differently. When we got back to her house we looked at her car and the grill was broken and there was some blood. Yuck!!
Last night was Julie's annual Groundhog Day party. I was exhausted from not getting home until 3AM the night (morning) before!! Kristin had pictures on her camera of her car. In the light of day she saw more blood and some fur (gross!)...even on the back of her car!! Jesse had to do improv at the Holly Hotel again and said he would call when he got home and meet me at the party. I realized I had left my cell phone at home so left the party to meet him at home. Unfortunately, I am old and fell asleep on the couch. By the time he got home it was 1:15AM and there was no way in HELL I was going back out. Sorry, Julie! I suck! How I long for the days of partying 4 nights a week with Seth and still having energy to go to work.
Watch out for dead deer on the road.
Kristin, Joel, Amanda and I went to the Holly Hotel in Holly, MI to see Members Only do some improvising. The comedy club is in the basement of the hotel and it was freezing! The staff had set up some space heaters but they didn't really help. It's a good thing the improv was fabulous!
After improv we went to Mr. B's in Clarkston to see the band, Good Gravy, play. For those of you who haven't been reading, Kristin's brothers are in the band. I had never been to Mr. B's and was impressed by the number of large trucks in the parking lot. The people there were great. There were women with big hair and tiger stripe shirts and men with gold chains and Hard Rock Cafe sweatshirts. Tony, an 80ish year old man, was there dancing in his Sunday best, a pastel plaid suit and gold tie. Impressive! This dude walked in and Joel and I commented that he looked familiar. We both thought he looked like Amanda's ex-boyfriend. And it was. I wonder if he frequents Mr. B's. I remembered that he liked the Journey so we asked the band if they knew any. Unfortunately they didn't. But after they were done playing they, with Kristin, sang some lovely Journey numbers a capella. I'm hoping they will perform some the next time I see them.
I rode with Kristin and on the way home she was driving down I-75 southbound. We were listening to an awesome song by The Postal Service when all of a sudden the truck in front of us swerved out of our lane. There was a dead deer right in the middle of our lane! Kristin and I screamed!! But it was too late!! BBBDUMPBUMPBUMP... bump. We ran over it. Thank God for Kristin's stellar driving skills. As she pointed out to the state police when she called to report the road hazard, it could have been dangerous if she had approached it differently. When we got back to her house we looked at her car and the grill was broken and there was some blood. Yuck!!
Last night was Julie's annual Groundhog Day party. I was exhausted from not getting home until 3AM the night (morning) before!! Kristin had pictures on her camera of her car. In the light of day she saw more blood and some fur (gross!)...even on the back of her car!! Jesse had to do improv at the Holly Hotel again and said he would call when he got home and meet me at the party. I realized I had left my cell phone at home so left the party to meet him at home. Unfortunately, I am old and fell asleep on the couch. By the time he got home it was 1:15AM and there was no way in HELL I was going back out. Sorry, Julie! I suck! How I long for the days of partying 4 nights a week with Seth and still having energy to go to work.
Watch out for dead deer on the road.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
thank you!!
Kristin emailed the photos from Tigerfest today. I love them and had to share them with all 2 people reading. Enjoy!
stop! thief!
Yesterday during a meeting I opened my little pill box to get a Ritalin. Before I could get one, my coworker reached in, grabbed one, stuck it in her mouth and swallowed it. I am all about sharing my schedule II drug (see Methylphenidate), but I think it might be nice to ask first! This morning I had a voicemail from her asking for more. I considered giving her some and charging her for it but I'm pretty sure I can get in trouble for that. Instead I declined because I haven't gotten a new prescription in a while and am running low. She said it was okay because she left a message for her doctor and was hoping to get a prescription of her own. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I guess.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
mommy
I had class again tonight and was excited to see two new women. At the end of the class I found out only one of the women would be staying. The other woman, who had blabbed the entire class, was there because her daughter, who is taking the class, was sick and couldn't come. When did mommys start going to class for their daughters? And when mommy does go to class, is it really appropriate for her to dominate the discussion? Her fur coat was pretty. She said she has it because she lives in Michigan and likes to be warm.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
class moron
Tonight I went to my Sociology 4460 Women and Society class. What a strange class it was.
First of all, I sat next to a woman that works at Jesse's company. Now I can't share with the class the crack smoking and whoring around Jesse and I do on weekends. Great.
Then, the token "class moron" made herself known to the group tonight. She reared her ugly head on several occasions.
First, we were talking about general inequality issues. She said that women and men aren't equal because men's bodies were made to be strong and lift things and women's bodies were made to nurture and raise children. Oh. I was going to say something but I had a schizophrenic moment and heard a voice in my head, I think it was my mother's, telling me that if I don't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all.
Then we were talking about the different ways men and women are treated when they work in fields that historically have been dominated by the opposite gender. An example one woman gave was police officers who are women. She made the point that they are treated differently, she did not say whether the treatment was better or worse. Class moron spoke up and said "Well, actually I saw some research that said that women police officers are more respected than men so that's not true. Yeah. I saw it on an ABC News report." Mother? Is that you?
And again, we were discussing gender inequality. Nothing specific, not that it is bad or good, just that it exists. Class moron said "Well, I for one hope that we keep some inequality. I mean, sometimes I like to wear skirts and look pretty." At that point I'm pretty sure I heard my mother say, "that's it, have at her..."
First of all, I sat next to a woman that works at Jesse's company. Now I can't share with the class the crack smoking and whoring around Jesse and I do on weekends. Great.
Then, the token "class moron" made herself known to the group tonight. She reared her ugly head on several occasions.
First, we were talking about general inequality issues. She said that women and men aren't equal because men's bodies were made to be strong and lift things and women's bodies were made to nurture and raise children. Oh. I was going to say something but I had a schizophrenic moment and heard a voice in my head, I think it was my mother's, telling me that if I don't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all.
Then we were talking about the different ways men and women are treated when they work in fields that historically have been dominated by the opposite gender. An example one woman gave was police officers who are women. She made the point that they are treated differently, she did not say whether the treatment was better or worse. Class moron spoke up and said "Well, actually I saw some research that said that women police officers are more respected than men so that's not true. Yeah. I saw it on an ABC News report." Mother? Is that you?
And again, we were discussing gender inequality. Nothing specific, not that it is bad or good, just that it exists. Class moron said "Well, I for one hope that we keep some inequality. I mean, sometimes I like to wear skirts and look pretty." At that point I'm pretty sure I heard my mother say, "that's it, have at her..."
security report
Okay okay, Jesse pointed out that people looking through doors and windows is shady. I agree. I'm still wondering what "or else" is! And I still think the police won't appreciate it if I call them just because I see them if they haven't done anything wrong!
leave or else...
This just in from Indian Village security...
TJ observed two African-American males walking through IV carrying shovels. However, they only approached houses where the driveway and sidewalk was cleared. Also, they would look in the houses through the front door/windows. When they spotted TJ they would wuickly exit. Moments later TJ would observe them doing the same routine. Finally the police were called and they told them to leave or else. They left - for now.
One was just over 6 feet tall wearing a black and white hooded shirt and blue jeans. The other was dressed completely in black. If you see them, call the police and/or TJ.
Or else what? And if I see them and call the police won't they think I'm crazy for calling them because I see black people?
TJ observed two African-American males walking through IV carrying shovels. However, they only approached houses where the driveway and sidewalk was cleared. Also, they would look in the houses through the front door/windows. When they spotted TJ they would wuickly exit. Moments later TJ would observe them doing the same routine. Finally the police were called and they told them to leave or else. They left - for now.
One was just over 6 feet tall wearing a black and white hooded shirt and blue jeans. The other was dressed completely in black. If you see them, call the police and/or TJ.
Or else what? And if I see them and call the police won't they think I'm crazy for calling them because I see black people?
Monday, January 24, 2005
roofer
On Friday we had a bunch of roofers working on a building at work.
Today a lady who lives in the shelter was in my office and she said "Hey I just wanted to let you know the roofers peed on the tire of my van." I stopped what I was doing and said, "What?" She told me her son saw one of them pee on the tire of their van in the parking lot. He called her over and asked if he was really seeing a roofer pee on the van. When she got to the window the guy was finishing and then another guy started to pee on the tire. They were laughing about it until when the second guy finished, a third guy peed. At that point, she opened her door and yelled "HEY! ARE YOU PEEING ON MY VAN?!" and all three guys got in their truck and left.
She wasn't mad. She was laughing about it. She said she just thought we should know because we might not want to hire them anymore.
When she left I was laughing so hard I almost peed on her van.
Today a lady who lives in the shelter was in my office and she said "Hey I just wanted to let you know the roofers peed on the tire of my van." I stopped what I was doing and said, "What?" She told me her son saw one of them pee on the tire of their van in the parking lot. He called her over and asked if he was really seeing a roofer pee on the van. When she got to the window the guy was finishing and then another guy started to pee on the tire. They were laughing about it until when the second guy finished, a third guy peed. At that point, she opened her door and yelled "HEY! ARE YOU PEEING ON MY VAN?!" and all three guys got in their truck and left.
She wasn't mad. She was laughing about it. She said she just thought we should know because we might not want to hire them anymore.
When she left I was laughing so hard I almost peed on her van.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
snow snow snow
Life would be so much easier if Jesse and I would just cook at home and keep food here. I had to go to the Jack today and it SUCKED trying to get out of my parking space, let alone off of Parker St. I love the D. But I hate the snow.
I forgot to mention that the singer of the band at Tigerfest, Good Gravy, that hung out with androgynous Amber Rose, was Kristin's brother, Pete. What a nice guy! He even went with Amber to her audition to sing the national anthem at Comerica. Then Jesse, Amber and I went with Kristin to watch her audition. I will let you all know when Kristin will be singing at Comerica.
My favorite part about getting my photo taken with Kirk Gibson was that all the other players and staff were escorted around by police and Tigerfest staff. Kirk was just all by himself. He was kind of rude to this guy who took his picture and then tried to shake his hand. Kirk totally blew him off and said "I don't shake hands." Maybe he has a hand shaking phobia? I don't want to think he's just a dick.
I forgot to mention that the singer of the band at Tigerfest, Good Gravy, that hung out with androgynous Amber Rose, was Kristin's brother, Pete. What a nice guy! He even went with Amber to her audition to sing the national anthem at Comerica. Then Jesse, Amber and I went with Kristin to watch her audition. I will let you all know when Kristin will be singing at Comerica.
My favorite part about getting my photo taken with Kirk Gibson was that all the other players and staff were escorted around by police and Tigerfest staff. Kirk was just all by himself. He was kind of rude to this guy who took his picture and then tried to shake his hand. Kirk totally blew him off and said "I don't shake hands." Maybe he has a hand shaking phobia? I don't want to think he's just a dick.
Saturday, January 22, 2005
tigerfest
Jesse, Kristin and I went to Tigerfest at Joe Louis Arena today. Oh what fun! There weren't many people there, I think because of the snow storm. I got my photo taken with Rondell White! And then Kirk Gibson walked out and I got my photo taken with him!! I'll post them as soon as I get them developed. You see, I have not stepped into the 21st century and purchased a digital camera yet. Kristin, on the other hand, has a digital camera and has photos of a scary little androgynous child, Amber Rose, with the singer of the band that was playing. When she emails them to me I will be sure to post them.
Friday, January 21, 2005
dear freeway sign writer,
I am writing because I am worried about you. I think you need a vacation. A couple weeks ago the sign read, between traffic updates, something about the People Mover being in full service. I didn't care. Nobody cares. Was it a joke? This week the sign reads "Low fuel? Fill up!" and this is what makes me write to you. Maybe it is time to take a break. Take some time to regroup and come up with some useful things to write on your signs. You won't have to try hard, not hard at all. Anything would be better than People Mover updates and tips on what to do if your fuel is low.
Your job is a stressful one. I do not pretend to understand what you go through on a daily basis. This is why I would like to try to help you. Here is a list of some things you might want to try:
- you could write a riddle in the morning, and the answer in the evening.
- little facts about the city.
- perhaps you would like to dabble in writing some haiku for us to read.
- trivia question in the morning, answer in the evening.
- reality tv updates, for example, who got voted off Survivor, American Idol, Amazing Race, etc.
- tell us something about you. Most of us don't know much about sign writing. What are your credentials? Are you from Detroit? Do you like cheese?
Well, all I can do is make suggestions and hope that they will help you out.
Happy writing,
A Concerned Citizen
Your job is a stressful one. I do not pretend to understand what you go through on a daily basis. This is why I would like to try to help you. Here is a list of some things you might want to try:
- you could write a riddle in the morning, and the answer in the evening.
- little facts about the city.
- perhaps you would like to dabble in writing some haiku for us to read.
- trivia question in the morning, answer in the evening.
- reality tv updates, for example, who got voted off Survivor, American Idol, Amazing Race, etc.
- tell us something about you. Most of us don't know much about sign writing. What are your credentials? Are you from Detroit? Do you like cheese?
Well, all I can do is make suggestions and hope that they will help you out.
Happy writing,
A Concerned Citizen
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
old jokes
Tonight in class, Soc 5570, Race Relations in an Urban Setting, we were talking about different cultures and what defines ethnicity. Of course I'm the token Asian American in the class so when the professor asked me where I'm from I had to give him my token answer of "Lansing." Lucky for him, he called himself out by admitting he asked the wrong question. Most people just say "No, where are really from?" *wink wink*
what did we ever do?
After checking this out, you too will wonder how we ever survived without the internet.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
train wreck
I haven't had much to say lately. Apparently it was because I was not watching enough American Idol. I just got home from class and warmed up some dinner and plopped my ass in front of the tv. There was this pathetic woman who told a long story about how she couldn't afford to go to the competition so she decided to sell some shit. She said she could choose between her karaoke equipment and cd's or her wedding ring. So she sold her wedding ring for $200. The judges had pity on her and she made it to the next level or whatever it's called. I'm wondering what she is going to sell next. She had her cute little daughter with her. Or her husband, although he didn't look like he would go for much. Just as long as she has her karaoke equipment.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
finally, someone normal!
I feel like this guy is a voice of reason.
I am a newcomer to the iva dialogue. I am not a newcomer to the neighborhood. I've lived on Iroquois, between Geothe and Mack since August 1990. I find the discussion about refuse containers fascinating.
Even on this, the eve of the day we have set to proclaim the life of MLK, I resist the temptation to offer the well known, over used Rodney King cliche. Instead, I submit that one thing I have learned during my 49 years, is that as much as it would be nice for everyone to get along and like each other, that just isn't going to happen much of the time.
I used to work for the City's Resource Recovery Authority (infamously known as the trash incinerator). I was responsible for developing pilot recycling programs. I learned that getting people to change how they deal with their trash is very challenging. Its means getting people to change very fundamental habits. It isn't easy, but it can be done. It requires a lot of patience, and sometimes quasi-punitive measures are necessary. But that does not mean that a tactful, non-confrontational approach cannot work.
As an African American, I found Mr. P*******'s use of the term "ghetto" as inappropriate and offensive. Regardless of dictionary definitions, and historical usages of the term, today, the word ghetto is used most often as a derogatory term for poor, predominantly african american neighborhoods. Mr. P*******'s used the term in a way that (to me) insinuated that an unclean neighborhood is a black neighborhood. If you happen to venture just to the North of Mack on Seminole, Iroquois or Burns, we will find that he his insinuation is off base. There we will find neatly kept homes and yards which are overwhelmingly African-American owned and/or occupied. It was appropriate for him to apologize.
If it is true that after 15 years, the efforts by some to get some iva residents to get their neighbors to comply with City rules about refuse and bulk collection have not been successful, then it probably is time to use appropriate measures to get violators to get with the program.
Even if we as neighbors, don't like each other, it is in our collective best interest to continue to discuss issues of common interest, and try to come up with workable solutions.
We all should try to be tough skinned enough to dish out and take criticism. Let the exchange of thoughts continue.
But then Mr. P******* had to go and ruin all the normalness and reply...
If I'm over zealous in my assigned Indian Village Board duties it is because I've tried being polite about our trash problem for 15 years and it isn't working. But, I don't "attack" individuals trying to help make the neighborhood a better place. I inform and warn the whole neighborhood, as instructed by the police. I give out reminders 2-3 times before I do my civic duty and inform the police. I don't want anyone to get a ticket, but enough is enough. I get calls from villagers, on a regular basis, asking me to do something about offenders. I wanted everyone to know what they could do if their neighbors refused to comply.
I didn't look up ghetto in the dictionary. I was using it the way my Detroit Public Schools middle students "slanged" it. If a fellow student threw paper on the floor they yelled out "Ghetto!"
Well if the middle school students do it, it must be okay.
I am a newcomer to the iva dialogue. I am not a newcomer to the neighborhood. I've lived on Iroquois, between Geothe and Mack since August 1990. I find the discussion about refuse containers fascinating.
Even on this, the eve of the day we have set to proclaim the life of MLK, I resist the temptation to offer the well known, over used Rodney King cliche. Instead, I submit that one thing I have learned during my 49 years, is that as much as it would be nice for everyone to get along and like each other, that just isn't going to happen much of the time.
I used to work for the City's Resource Recovery Authority (infamously known as the trash incinerator). I was responsible for developing pilot recycling programs. I learned that getting people to change how they deal with their trash is very challenging. Its means getting people to change very fundamental habits. It isn't easy, but it can be done. It requires a lot of patience, and sometimes quasi-punitive measures are necessary. But that does not mean that a tactful, non-confrontational approach cannot work.
As an African American, I found Mr. P*******'s use of the term "ghetto" as inappropriate and offensive. Regardless of dictionary definitions, and historical usages of the term, today, the word ghetto is used most often as a derogatory term for poor, predominantly african american neighborhoods. Mr. P*******'s used the term in a way that (to me) insinuated that an unclean neighborhood is a black neighborhood. If you happen to venture just to the North of Mack on Seminole, Iroquois or Burns, we will find that he his insinuation is off base. There we will find neatly kept homes and yards which are overwhelmingly African-American owned and/or occupied. It was appropriate for him to apologize.
If it is true that after 15 years, the efforts by some to get some iva residents to get their neighbors to comply with City rules about refuse and bulk collection have not been successful, then it probably is time to use appropriate measures to get violators to get with the program.
Even if we as neighbors, don't like each other, it is in our collective best interest to continue to discuss issues of common interest, and try to come up with workable solutions.
We all should try to be tough skinned enough to dish out and take criticism. Let the exchange of thoughts continue.
But then Mr. P******* had to go and ruin all the normalness and reply...
If I'm over zealous in my assigned Indian Village Board duties it is because I've tried being polite about our trash problem for 15 years and it isn't working. But, I don't "attack" individuals trying to help make the neighborhood a better place. I inform and warn the whole neighborhood, as instructed by the police. I give out reminders 2-3 times before I do my civic duty and inform the police. I don't want anyone to get a ticket, but enough is enough. I get calls from villagers, on a regular basis, asking me to do something about offenders. I wanted everyone to know what they could do if their neighbors refused to comply.
I didn't look up ghetto in the dictionary. I was using it the way my Detroit Public Schools middle students "slanged" it. If a fellow student threw paper on the floor they yelled out "Ghetto!"
Well if the middle school students do it, it must be okay.
this guy is nuts.
The guy who originally posted the email from the perspective of his dog wrote this email...
It looks like I've been found guilty by a few people that want to yell at me in front of a group of 200, instead of emailing me personally. I'm thankful for the personal emails of support. The few that are yelling at me should check the past Smoke Signals and annual meetings and realize I've been working on improving our environment for the past 17 years. I've tried everything. Most people don't like to look at trash that sits out for 3+ weeks. I get many calls asking me to do something about it. Neighbors of violators call me.
As part of my duties on the Board of Directors I am called "The Trash - Environment Cop" I always inform violators of the city ordinances with a polite form. Bob *********** also does this on his own. We (the Board) aren't talking about a can at the street a little early or late. We're talking about people that leave the black trash can right at the front door of their house all day everyday! On my block we do help each out with the Courville containers. Doesn't everybody? The police department of every pct has police officers assigned to the environment and also to abondoned autos and other duties. This is their job. They patrol neighborhoods looking for these types of violations. I try to make sure our residents don't get a ticket by getting them to do what they legally should do and to remind the few that need to be reminded to RESPECT THEIR NEIGHBORS. 99% of our neighbors do the right thing and a great many of them thank Bob and I for fighting for the whole village.
I am sorry if I used any words that offended anyone. My use of the word ghetto was a poor choice. I meant a neighborhood where people didn't respect their neighbors. That has nothing to do with race. I will continue to fight for the environment even though a few people don't care.
And then he posted this email. I'm wondering if he messed up and accidentally posted it to the list? He wrote it to the attorney who called him a nark. tee hee heeeeeeee.... I guess he shouldn't be pissed about not getting personal emails when he posts this for the world (me) to see!
This is amazing! What is wrong with you? If you have a problem with me, why don't you contact me by email or phone? Do you have to make accusations and statements about me in front of the whole group? A lawyer should know better. I have 200 witnesses! You have proof that I personally threatened you? I was told by Kristine ******** that house #'s and no trespassing signs are not allowed in historic neighborhoods. I handed out letters addressing this. I was helping people to not get a possible ticket. Are you threatened by this? I can't believe a lawyer said these things. Retraction?
Your make mention of me and my spare time - I patrol the neighborhood everyday for an hour looking for criminal behavior and environmental offenses. I give reminder notices to all environment offenders before informing the environmental police officer. That is one of my duties on the Board of Directors. I always have my cell phone with me and I have called TJ many times to report suspicious behavior. I've been a block captain for 17 years and we meet once a month. I keep track of and write the monthly crime report. I've been on the board for 4 years - with committee meetings lasting 6 hours a month. I've met with the commander of the 7th pct once a month for 1 hour, for three years. I also check in with the environmental and abandoned auto officers occasionally. This is all volunteer time. I don't charge 100's of $/hr. How about you - how much time do you volunteer to help the neighborhood?
I suggest you stop this Kangaroo Kourt and think before you type. Contact me, if you wish, instead of the whole group. You've read an awful lot into my reports that I find hard to believe. You and the other couple negative emailers don't even know me. Most villagers know that I'm working hard for the neighborhood. I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone. But reading your email that follows - especially the last two sentences - you are doing all you can to offend me. Very personal - Why? Most people I talk to, like the fact that I care about the neighborhood. But, not you. Why? "(nosy narker Village busy-body)" Is'nt this slander?
And then he posted this email. He's sounding more and more crazy and more and more like a big baby who needs to grow up!!
It's too bad you think "the dog perspective e-mail was ridiculous." This column has been in the "Smoke Signals" for 15 years. Everybody knows about it and many people appreciate the whole idea of HACUP. They know that we, Buster and I, have patrolled all these years and we are looking out for all neighbors. That's approx. 4500 hours fighting crime in the neighborhood. And, you think this is ridiculous. How are you helping? You question using the police to fight trash and violators of our city ordinances. There are officers assigned to this duty. It is their job. Tell them that their career is nonsense. I didn't assign them to this duty! You infer that what I'm doing is elitist? No neighborhood should put up with trash "dumped" in their neighborhood for weeks on end. No neighborhood should have to look at garbage cans at their neighbors front door. It is against the law. How is this elitist? I may be over zealous but I've tried being polite and it isn't working after 15 years of trying.
I sign my e-mails -
Of course I am removing names and addresses just in case someone is reading this. These emails are cracking me up! They are much more exciting than the normal "black man seen walking down the street. beware!" emails that I am used to reading...
It looks like I've been found guilty by a few people that want to yell at me in front of a group of 200, instead of emailing me personally. I'm thankful for the personal emails of support. The few that are yelling at me should check the past Smoke Signals and annual meetings and realize I've been working on improving our environment for the past 17 years. I've tried everything. Most people don't like to look at trash that sits out for 3+ weeks. I get many calls asking me to do something about it. Neighbors of violators call me.
As part of my duties on the Board of Directors I am called "The Trash - Environment Cop" I always inform violators of the city ordinances with a polite form. Bob *********** also does this on his own. We (the Board) aren't talking about a can at the street a little early or late. We're talking about people that leave the black trash can right at the front door of their house all day everyday! On my block we do help each out with the Courville containers. Doesn't everybody? The police department of every pct has police officers assigned to the environment and also to abondoned autos and other duties. This is their job. They patrol neighborhoods looking for these types of violations. I try to make sure our residents don't get a ticket by getting them to do what they legally should do and to remind the few that need to be reminded to RESPECT THEIR NEIGHBORS. 99% of our neighbors do the right thing and a great many of them thank Bob and I for fighting for the whole village.
I am sorry if I used any words that offended anyone. My use of the word ghetto was a poor choice. I meant a neighborhood where people didn't respect their neighbors. That has nothing to do with race. I will continue to fight for the environment even though a few people don't care.
And then he posted this email. I'm wondering if he messed up and accidentally posted it to the list? He wrote it to the attorney who called him a nark. tee hee heeeeeeee.... I guess he shouldn't be pissed about not getting personal emails when he posts this for the world (me) to see!
This is amazing! What is wrong with you? If you have a problem with me, why don't you contact me by email or phone? Do you have to make accusations and statements about me in front of the whole group? A lawyer should know better. I have 200 witnesses! You have proof that I personally threatened you? I was told by Kristine ******** that house #'s and no trespassing signs are not allowed in historic neighborhoods. I handed out letters addressing this. I was helping people to not get a possible ticket. Are you threatened by this? I can't believe a lawyer said these things. Retraction?
Your make mention of me and my spare time - I patrol the neighborhood everyday for an hour looking for criminal behavior and environmental offenses. I give reminder notices to all environment offenders before informing the environmental police officer. That is one of my duties on the Board of Directors. I always have my cell phone with me and I have called TJ many times to report suspicious behavior. I've been a block captain for 17 years and we meet once a month. I keep track of and write the monthly crime report. I've been on the board for 4 years - with committee meetings lasting 6 hours a month. I've met with the commander of the 7th pct once a month for 1 hour, for three years. I also check in with the environmental and abandoned auto officers occasionally. This is all volunteer time. I don't charge 100's of $/hr. How about you - how much time do you volunteer to help the neighborhood?
I suggest you stop this Kangaroo Kourt and think before you type. Contact me, if you wish, instead of the whole group. You've read an awful lot into my reports that I find hard to believe. You and the other couple negative emailers don't even know me. Most villagers know that I'm working hard for the neighborhood. I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone. But reading your email that follows - especially the last two sentences - you are doing all you can to offend me. Very personal - Why? Most people I talk to, like the fact that I care about the neighborhood. But, not you. Why? "(nosy narker Village busy-body)" Is'nt this slander?
And then he posted this email. He's sounding more and more crazy and more and more like a big baby who needs to grow up!!
It's too bad you think "the dog perspective e-mail was ridiculous." This column has been in the "Smoke Signals" for 15 years. Everybody knows about it and many people appreciate the whole idea of HACUP. They know that we, Buster and I, have patrolled all these years and we are looking out for all neighbors. That's approx. 4500 hours fighting crime in the neighborhood. And, you think this is ridiculous. How are you helping? You question using the police to fight trash and violators of our city ordinances. There are officers assigned to this duty. It is their job. Tell them that their career is nonsense. I didn't assign them to this duty! You infer that what I'm doing is elitist? No neighborhood should put up with trash "dumped" in their neighborhood for weeks on end. No neighborhood should have to look at garbage cans at their neighbors front door. It is against the law. How is this elitist? I may be over zealous but I've tried being polite and it isn't working after 15 years of trying.
I sign my e-mails -
Of course I am removing names and addresses just in case someone is reading this. These emails are cracking me up! They are much more exciting than the normal "black man seen walking down the street. beware!" emails that I am used to reading...
Friday, January 14, 2005
it's finally getting good
First this email showed up. It's pretty ridiculous. But hang in there for one of the responses to the email...
TALK RESPECT! A report and opinion by -H.A.C.U.P.Historic Area Canine Urban Patrol Buster- Chairdog
If you are tired of neighbors putting trash out early, call the 7th pct. and ask for the environmental officer. They will ticket offenders. All the humans have been told not to put anything at the curb until the night before the 4th Monday of the month. THERE IS NO EXCUSE - POLICE WILL BE CALLED. Black refuse cans are not LEGALLY supposed to be seen from the street. We have scores of people that leave them 24/7 in their front yard! - GHETTO! $300,000+ houses with a garbage can at the front door! This year we have a much better snow service. Thank you Tony & Sons! Those of us that walk in the neighborhood love it. The sidewalks are great. Except, on the east / west main streets when the city comes by to plow the streets after our service does the sidewalks and they get covered again. Sorry, but people on those corners are legally supposed to keep those sidewalks clear.
SOMETHING NEW - Phillip ***** on Iroquois is a solo morning walker. After being mugged in the neighborhood a year or so ago he has gone elsewhere to walk. He would like to get other people that walk on a regular basis to join together to help patrol the neighborhood and stay safer, as we do with HACUP. The proposal is to have walkers, with or without dogs, carry cell phones (911 for city = 313-224-1212), (Dusing patrol 586-***-****), a whistle or other noise maker, and wear a reflective vest to identify and protect them. If interested in the vest idea - call me so I can see if there is enough interest to purchase vests. If your human takes you for a walk in the neighborhood and you would like to join HACUP, give my human a call for membership information.
And now for one of the responses...
As one who was personally threatened by Mr. P******* with police intervention for having the temerity to have my house number painted on the street curb (which I consider to be a public safety necessity), I applaud the comments of *****, whoever you are. I also take offense at the rascist and elitist slur, in his post. Many people who cannot afford to live in $300K homes and who live in "the ghetto" strive to keep their homes as attractive and as neat as possible. If Mr. P******* has all of this spare time on his hands that he can patrol the neighborhood, and inspect the location of our garbage cans, perhaps he might think about volunteering some of this time at the Capuchin soup kitchen, and give up his role as the nosy narker Village busy-body for the New Year. That would be a welcome relief to his neighbors. RLS.
I applaud this guy for speaking up. Let's see what people have to say about his response...
OK now, slow down.
I agree that the dog perspective email was ridiculous. The fact that anyone would waste the valuable time of our officers with this nonsense is outrageous... but racist? Elitist, maybe, but when was race introduced to this exchange? No single race has cornered the market on the term ghetto.
rac·ism (rszm)n.
The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.
Discrimination or prejudice based on race.
Apparently this guy hasn't been reading most of the emails on their little list.
I'm at work and don't have time to make any smart ass comments. I'll try to think of some and post them later. I'm sure I won't have any problems coming up with them...
TALK RESPECT! A report and opinion by -H.A.C.U.P.Historic Area Canine Urban Patrol Buster- Chairdog
If you are tired of neighbors putting trash out early, call the 7th pct. and ask for the environmental officer. They will ticket offenders. All the humans have been told not to put anything at the curb until the night before the 4th Monday of the month. THERE IS NO EXCUSE - POLICE WILL BE CALLED. Black refuse cans are not LEGALLY supposed to be seen from the street. We have scores of people that leave them 24/7 in their front yard! - GHETTO! $300,000+ houses with a garbage can at the front door! This year we have a much better snow service. Thank you Tony & Sons! Those of us that walk in the neighborhood love it. The sidewalks are great. Except, on the east / west main streets when the city comes by to plow the streets after our service does the sidewalks and they get covered again. Sorry, but people on those corners are legally supposed to keep those sidewalks clear.
SOMETHING NEW - Phillip ***** on Iroquois is a solo morning walker. After being mugged in the neighborhood a year or so ago he has gone elsewhere to walk. He would like to get other people that walk on a regular basis to join together to help patrol the neighborhood and stay safer, as we do with HACUP. The proposal is to have walkers, with or without dogs, carry cell phones (911 for city = 313-224-1212), (Dusing patrol 586-***-****), a whistle or other noise maker, and wear a reflective vest to identify and protect them. If interested in the vest idea - call me so I can see if there is enough interest to purchase vests. If your human takes you for a walk in the neighborhood and you would like to join HACUP, give my human a call for membership information.
And now for one of the responses...
As one who was personally threatened by Mr. P******* with police intervention for having the temerity to have my house number painted on the street curb (which I consider to be a public safety necessity), I applaud the comments of *****, whoever you are. I also take offense at the rascist and elitist slur, in his post. Many people who cannot afford to live in $300K homes and who live in "the ghetto" strive to keep their homes as attractive and as neat as possible. If Mr. P******* has all of this spare time on his hands that he can patrol the neighborhood, and inspect the location of our garbage cans, perhaps he might think about volunteering some of this time at the Capuchin soup kitchen, and give up his role as the nosy narker Village busy-body for the New Year. That would be a welcome relief to his neighbors. RLS.
I applaud this guy for speaking up. Let's see what people have to say about his response...
OK now, slow down.
I agree that the dog perspective email was ridiculous. The fact that anyone would waste the valuable time of our officers with this nonsense is outrageous... but racist? Elitist, maybe, but when was race introduced to this exchange? No single race has cornered the market on the term ghetto.
rac·ism (rszm)n.
The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.
Discrimination or prejudice based on race.
Apparently this guy hasn't been reading most of the emails on their little list.
I'm at work and don't have time to make any smart ass comments. I'll try to think of some and post them later. I'm sure I won't have any problems coming up with them...
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
smile
This evening I was standing on the corner of Woodward and Warren waiting to cross the street. A guy who looked like he has had a very hard life was walking in my direction so I smiled at him. He looked at me and then walked up to me. I was getting ready to say, "I'm sorry, I don't have any change," when he said "Thank you for that beautiful smile." and walked away.
I was sad after that.
Maybe he said it because I have a beautiful smile. But I think maybe I surprised him and he said it because not many people notice him, and maybe when they do, it's to get away from him or treat him like he's not supposed to be in Indian Village.
So, smile at strangers who look like they might not be living the life of luxury. It might brighten their day. Or, it just might keep them from asking you for change.
I was sad after that.
Maybe he said it because I have a beautiful smile. But I think maybe I surprised him and he said it because not many people notice him, and maybe when they do, it's to get away from him or treat him like he's not supposed to be in Indian Village.
So, smile at strangers who look like they might not be living the life of luxury. It might brighten their day. Or, it just might keep them from asking you for change.
dear mr. selleck,
I just want to apologize for mistakenly writing that you drove a lamborghini. What was I thinking? I want you to know that when I was in Hawaii for three days in high school I went looking for Robin's Nest but I did not have a car to drive so did not get very far. Don't worry, there aren't any other times I attempted to stalk you. Please come to the auto show and kick Tony Danza's ass. I do hate him. And I'm not ashamed to admit it.
Sincerely,
concerned citizen
Sincerely,
concerned citizen
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Dear Mr. Danza,
I recently read that you will be at the International Auto Show this weekend. As a citizen of this fine city, I must ask you to please not come here. This city has gone through enough pain and suffering since the 1967 riots. I do not understand why you feel the need to mock us with your presence. Have you ever driven a cool car on film? I seem to remember some sort of van on Who's the Boss. You should step aside and let Tom Selleck come instead. He at least drove a Lamborghini. Yes, I know it wasn't his. But not only did he have a kick ass ride, he was a true Detroit fan as shown by the Tiger baseball cap on his noggin. Anyway, I'm not sure who invited you or how this happened. I'm pretty sure it was all just a mistake or a triple dog dare or something. You don't have to come. We have enough to be embarrassed about. Just look at Indian Village.
Sincerely,
a concerned citizen
p.s. if you do come, can you please bring a salt truck or a snow plow or some fresh produce?
Sincerely,
a concerned citizen
p.s. if you do come, can you please bring a salt truck or a snow plow or some fresh produce?
drama
Just kidding. I love it that Jesse has decided to start his own blog. Now maybe I will have to talk to him less. We can communicate through blogs and blogs alone. This is probably the best thing that has ever happened in our relationship. I'm so dramatic!! And tired.
I'm tired because Barbaro Garbey woke me up at 5:45AM for no reason. So I decided to get up and go for a little jog on the treadmill.
And now it's 8:55PM and I'm ready for bed. But I can't go to sleep yet because there is a new Law & Order SVU on tonight. I live for this shit.
I know. I get more pathetic every day. Every blog post.
*sigh*
I'm tired because Barbaro Garbey woke me up at 5:45AM for no reason. So I decided to get up and go for a little jog on the treadmill.
And now it's 8:55PM and I'm ready for bed. But I can't go to sleep yet because there is a new Law & Order SVU on tonight. I live for this shit.
I know. I get more pathetic every day. Every blog post.
*sigh*
it's taking over the house!!!
Now Jesse has a blog!! And now nobody will read mine because his will be smarter and funnier and smarter than mine. Damn him. Damn you!!
snow!
The drive to work today SUCKED.
There isn't much I miss about living somewhere other than Detroit. But there are two things I realized I took for granted. Snow plow/salt truck and fresh produce. There isn't much of either in the D.
Back to work...
There isn't much I miss about living somewhere other than Detroit. But there are two things I realized I took for granted. Snow plow/salt truck and fresh produce. There isn't much of either in the D.
Back to work...
Monday, January 10, 2005
rebel.
Today I realized that I don't think I can be rebellious anymore. It's sad and pathetic and makes me feel very old. When did I get so set in my ways and boring? Seriously now, how can I be a rebel? I don't think I have ever been one. Maybe when I was 16 and smoking I was one but I'm pretty sure I wasn't even then. I would like to think I rebel at work because they are a bunch of cocksuckers but I think I just fall in line with all of their reindeer games. Thinking about this is making me tired. I need a nap.
Sunday, January 09, 2005
just me and my ritalin
Jesse is at class today so I took some Ritalin in hope of cleaning shit. Instead I am going to post a photo to my blog. At least I'm going to try...
Saturday, January 08, 2005
the bird
What a fun day at the Gibraltar Trade Center. You will be happy to know that there are now two goose outfit booths! OH yeah...
We stood in line for over an hour and walked away with an autographed ball and a polaroid of me and The Bird that he autographed. Hopefully later I will figure out how to post photos on this damn blog.
I'm tired now because we went to Mexican Town for dinner and margaritas...
We stood in line for over an hour and walked away with an autographed ball and a polaroid of me and The Bird that he autographed. Hopefully later I will figure out how to post photos on this damn blog.
I'm tired now because we went to Mexican Town for dinner and margaritas...
Friday, January 07, 2005
nice coat
This email from the Indian Village list came in this morning...
From Thursday morning:--gray Jeep Grand Cherokee, driving around, one of theoccupants (black male, mid length new leather coat with decals) alsowalking around the neighborhood, others at times leaving the car andknocking on front doors of homes; no evidence of snow shovels or otherequipment, aside from the question of whether an individual would shovelsnow in such a nice coat.
Apparently now it is suspicious to wear a nice coat.
When this first came I laughed. I believe my comment to Jesse was, "What the fuck is wrong with these people?" It is just so crazy, can they be serious?
On my way home from work this evening I was thinking about what I might write about this email. I started to get sad. And angry. At first I thought these emails were helpful. It was good to know what is going on in the neighborhood. It has become painfully clear that these emails do no such thing. These emails show me that racism is a huge problem in this city. They don't tell me what is going on in the neighborhood because nothing has ever come of the suspicious black person walking down the street. The emails instill fear of black people. They tell me to fear black people carrying garbage bags and black people wearing nice coats and black people driving cars and black people walking down the street. They are a constant reminder to me to make sure the alarm on the house is armed when I am home alone. They remind me to be sure to lock the security door and the regular door. The emails also are a clear reminder that black people are not wanted nor welcome in Indian Village.
I know I need to speak out on the list and make my opinion known. But I have to admit that I am afraid. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I don't want to start any drama with the rich white neighbors. Maybe because this is all a reminder that I'm not white and I'm trying to deal with my own stuff. I need to think about this more before I do or say anything to the list.
It was a shitty downer of a drive home. But I felt better when I was flipping through the radio stations (I lose NPR about 4 miles from home) and Centerfield by John Fogerty started to play. Jesse and I will fly to Florida for spring training on March 12. Put me in coach, I'm ready to play!!
From Thursday morning:--gray Jeep Grand Cherokee, driving around, one of theoccupants (black male, mid length new leather coat with decals) alsowalking around the neighborhood, others at times leaving the car andknocking on front doors of homes; no evidence of snow shovels or otherequipment, aside from the question of whether an individual would shovelsnow in such a nice coat.
Apparently now it is suspicious to wear a nice coat.
When this first came I laughed. I believe my comment to Jesse was, "What the fuck is wrong with these people?" It is just so crazy, can they be serious?
On my way home from work this evening I was thinking about what I might write about this email. I started to get sad. And angry. At first I thought these emails were helpful. It was good to know what is going on in the neighborhood. It has become painfully clear that these emails do no such thing. These emails show me that racism is a huge problem in this city. They don't tell me what is going on in the neighborhood because nothing has ever come of the suspicious black person walking down the street. The emails instill fear of black people. They tell me to fear black people carrying garbage bags and black people wearing nice coats and black people driving cars and black people walking down the street. They are a constant reminder to me to make sure the alarm on the house is armed when I am home alone. They remind me to be sure to lock the security door and the regular door. The emails also are a clear reminder that black people are not wanted nor welcome in Indian Village.
I know I need to speak out on the list and make my opinion known. But I have to admit that I am afraid. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I don't want to start any drama with the rich white neighbors. Maybe because this is all a reminder that I'm not white and I'm trying to deal with my own stuff. I need to think about this more before I do or say anything to the list.
It was a shitty downer of a drive home. But I felt better when I was flipping through the radio stations (I lose NPR about 4 miles from home) and Centerfield by John Fogerty started to play. Jesse and I will fly to Florida for spring training on March 12. Put me in coach, I'm ready to play!!
Thursday, January 06, 2005
i'm so mature
The people we bought this house from are John and Sheila. Sometimes their mail still comes here. Usually the mail just has first and last names. Today one piece of mail had John's middle name on it. His middle name is Thomas. I can't stop giggling. His parents must have a wicked sense of humor.
i love this city
On my way home from the Jack I was driving down VanDyke. I got about a block away from home when I saw a lady walking her little white poofy dog down the street. The dog was wearing a white and red striped sweater and black booties. Then I looked across the street and a guy was peeing on a tree right next to the street. Nice.
Indian Village Security Alert
I just wrote a really funny blog. Then I did something and it is gone. I'm pissed and am going to do the short version of the stupid thing. And I'm not going to try anything fancy because that just leads to no good.
So here's an email that came in this morning...
Just in from TJ:Black male, gray coat, gray sweats, carrying black garbage bag, moving through IV. Police saw him on the way to check out an alarm and they told TJ he looked suspicious. TJ will keep an eye out - police may go look for him.
TJ is the guy who works for the security company. He drives around the neighborhood looking for black men carrying garbage bags. Most of the "suspicious people" walking around Indian Village just happen to be African American. This is no surprise since 81% of the city is African American. And there is no fence around Indian Village or a gate to get in. It's just a neighborhood in the city. The other thing I noticed is that the suspicious people are mostly just walking down the street. One night Jesse and I saw a white woman on the corner talking on a cell phone. I almost posted to the list that I saw a suspicious white woman on the corner of Agnes and Iroquois. I didn't do it because I knew they wouldn't take me seriously, nobody ever posts white people looking suspicious. I was also afraid they would know I was mocking them and would kick me off the list and that would take away my fun.
I apologize for my shitty grammar.
So here's an email that came in this morning...
Just in from TJ:Black male, gray coat, gray sweats, carrying black garbage bag, moving through IV. Police saw him on the way to check out an alarm and they told TJ he looked suspicious. TJ will keep an eye out - police may go look for him.
TJ is the guy who works for the security company. He drives around the neighborhood looking for black men carrying garbage bags. Most of the "suspicious people" walking around Indian Village just happen to be African American. This is no surprise since 81% of the city is African American. And there is no fence around Indian Village or a gate to get in. It's just a neighborhood in the city. The other thing I noticed is that the suspicious people are mostly just walking down the street. One night Jesse and I saw a white woman on the corner talking on a cell phone. I almost posted to the list that I saw a suspicious white woman on the corner of Agnes and Iroquois. I didn't do it because I knew they wouldn't take me seriously, nobody ever posts white people looking suspicious. I was also afraid they would know I was mocking them and would kick me off the list and that would take away my fun.
I apologize for my shitty grammar.
snow day!!
We got lots of snow yesterday and last night so I got to stay home today. It is nice to be able to pee when I want and not have to worry about finding a working toilet. I have two to choose from! Although I'm pretty sure I won't choose the basement one. Creepy.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
still no toilet
The plumber said he didn't know why the toilet didn't work. So he replaced it. Then it still didn't work. So he snaked 75 feet out. Then it still didn't work. So he left and said he'd be back another day. Then the maintenance guy said he thinks it really does work and the plumber just wants to get paid more money. Huh? Wha? This is the same maintenance guy who supposedly fixed the toilet on Thursday. Yikes! I came home to flush all I want. And oh how I want...
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
sauerkraut
Joanna said she is going to help me make sauerkraut this summer. If I put it here then she has to do it. Right? I have all two of you for witnesses.
I ate some for dinner and it just wasn't the same because it was Vlasic and not Joanna's.
I ate some for dinner and it just wasn't the same because it was Vlasic and not Joanna's.
i'm home
Did you ever notice that when there isn't a toilet around, you have to pee all the time really badly? I got home and ran straight to the bathroom. Lifted the seat. And there were two poops floating in the toilet. Hmmm...I did not poop at home this morning. I pooped at work. That's probably why the toilet there stopped working. HAHAHAAAAA. Gross.
On the way home I was thinking about why this blog just isn't funny. I still haven't figured it out. I wondered if maybe I am just not funny. But that can't be! Jesse says I'm funny! But maybe he's just trying to get in my pants. But that can't be! I decided that maybe it is because I am feeling like I have to filter shit. When I'm with Jesse I really don't have a filter. But here, I have to be careful about what I write. Even though I know Joanna and Jesse are the only ones reading, what if someone else reads and I just wrote something really mean (but funny) about them? I'd feel bad. I think. So then I decided something doesn't have to be mean to be funny. I'll just have to figure out how that works. Or use code names. Yeah, that's it... and if it still isn't funny, I'll think of another excuse.
On the way home I was thinking about why this blog just isn't funny. I still haven't figured it out. I wondered if maybe I am just not funny. But that can't be! Jesse says I'm funny! But maybe he's just trying to get in my pants. But that can't be! I decided that maybe it is because I am feeling like I have to filter shit. When I'm with Jesse I really don't have a filter. But here, I have to be careful about what I write. Even though I know Joanna and Jesse are the only ones reading, what if someone else reads and I just wrote something really mean (but funny) about them? I'd feel bad. I think. So then I decided something doesn't have to be mean to be funny. I'll just have to figure out how that works. Or use code names. Yeah, that's it... and if it still isn't funny, I'll think of another excuse.
toilet.
This afternoon the toilet at my office stopped working. Apparently there were toilet problems last Thursday and the maintenance guy thought he fixed the problems. He is sick today and isn't at work so I called his supervisor to tell him to call the plumber. The supervisor decided we just didn't plunge enough so came right over to give it a try. After a few minutes of mad plunging he came out and said he would have to call the plumber. No shit Sherlock.
Please. Find me a new job.
Please. Find me a new job.
i need a new job.
When we moved to Detroit I didn't think I'd mind driving back to Ypsilanti every day. I was wrong. This sucks.
If you know someone, or know someone who knows someone, who will give me a job, let me know. Thanks.
If you know someone, or know someone who knows someone, who will give me a job, let me know. Thanks.
Monday, January 03, 2005
Close the fridge!!
When we were at Mackinac Island this weekend Amanda's dad made a very very very yummy Lebanese soup. I forgot what it was called. After dinner it was put in the fridge for safe keeping. The soup made the fridge smell like a giant nasty FART. And every time anyone opened the fridge, the entire room almost passed out from the smell. And every time anyone farted, we'd all ask, "Who opened the fridge?" Nice.
it stinks in here.
I'm making Garden Vegetable Stew but it smells like one big yodelin' onion. It says on the recipe that preparation should take 10 minutes. It took me 45 minutes. Who chops an onion, 4 carrots, 2 zucchini and 8 potatoes in 10 minutes??
I started this blog because of all the funny emails I was getting from the Indian Village Association. As soon as I started doing this, the funny emails stopped coming. Now they are boring and about things like Pilates classes. Maybe I've just gotten lazy and need to look harder for the funny things.
On Saturday Mark Fidrych will be signing autographs for free at Gibraltar Trade Center in Mt. Clemens. I can't wait! If anyone needs outfits for their lawn geese, let me know.
I started this blog because of all the funny emails I was getting from the Indian Village Association. As soon as I started doing this, the funny emails stopped coming. Now they are boring and about things like Pilates classes. Maybe I've just gotten lazy and need to look harder for the funny things.
On Saturday Mark Fidrych will be signing autographs for free at Gibraltar Trade Center in Mt. Clemens. I can't wait! If anyone needs outfits for their lawn geese, let me know.
mackinac island in the winter
I haven't been to Mackinac Island in a really long time. And I've never been there in the winter. On Thursday Jesse and I met Joel and Amanda in St. Ignace to take the ferry to the island. We stayed with Amanda's family at their "cottage". It's really a beautiful 3 bedroom house. Jesse and I had the pleasure of sleeping in the 4th bedroom which is really a big closet. Nice!!
We got to do lots of fun things, such as riding in a cab with a driver named George who was super crabby. We actually got to ride with him twice. The second time Jesse and I sat up front with him and watched the horses shit all along the way.
The weather was totally crazy. The first day we were there it rained. The second day it was sunny and warm so all the snow melted. Then that night it was freezing cold so all the stuff that melted froze and it was slippery and crunchy snow.
We stopped at the world's largest crucifix on the way home. It wasn't at all like I had imagined it would be but it was still interesting. There was a mass going on while we were there so we didn't get to do anything fun. When I get the photos developed I'll be sure to post some.
Then we stopped at the Big Buck Brewery for dinner and watched part of the Rose Bowl. I had never been to Big Buck either so it was a very exciting trip home.
I'm exhausted and very boring today. So I'll shut up and promise to not write again until I have something good to write.
Peace out.
We got to do lots of fun things, such as riding in a cab with a driver named George who was super crabby. We actually got to ride with him twice. The second time Jesse and I sat up front with him and watched the horses shit all along the way.
The weather was totally crazy. The first day we were there it rained. The second day it was sunny and warm so all the snow melted. Then that night it was freezing cold so all the stuff that melted froze and it was slippery and crunchy snow.
We stopped at the world's largest crucifix on the way home. It wasn't at all like I had imagined it would be but it was still interesting. There was a mass going on while we were there so we didn't get to do anything fun. When I get the photos developed I'll be sure to post some.
Then we stopped at the Big Buck Brewery for dinner and watched part of the Rose Bowl. I had never been to Big Buck either so it was a very exciting trip home.
I'm exhausted and very boring today. So I'll shut up and promise to not write again until I have something good to write.
Peace out.
blog blog everywhere blogs!
If you are reading this sad sad blog then you should definitely read joanna's blog and at least be entertained!!
Sunday, January 02, 2005
when did you eat a milkshake??
Jesse and I went to the Country Inn of Grosse Pointe for lunch today. Our food had just arrived when the man in the booth on the other side of the half wall said to his child "Oh no! Don't do that! Wait! Wait!" Much to my dismay, he then yelled to the waitress helping the nice people at the table on the other side of the restaurant, "Miss! Miss!! MISS!! I NEED A TOWEL HERE MY DAUGHTER JUST THREW UP!!" My mashed potatoes weren't looking as yummy anymore.
Oh. But it gets better.
The man went and sat by his daughter and started to question her about what she ate and when. "What did you eat? What did you eat to make you throw up? Oh you threw it up. Did you eat a milkshake? When did you eat a milkshake? Was it this morning? Or did you eat a milkshake last night and now you threw it up?" The daughter did not answer any of these questions. He continued to talk about her throw up anyway.
And then it gets better.
Instead of getting up and leaving with his child who just puked at the table, he has her lay down on the booth seat and moves over to the other side of the table and continues to eat with his other daughter.
Thank GOD for a kind waitress who noticed Jesse and I were very uncomfortable sitting next this man who could not stop talking about his daughter and her throw up. She offered to move us to another table, which we immediately agreed to. As we were getting settled in our new digs, the man with the puking daughter had gone to the restroom. On his way back to his puke table, he said to Jesse and I, "You didn't move because of us, did you?" To which I replied, "yes." And he said, with a chuckle, "well, just wait until you guys have kids." Because I was in shock, all I could come up with was, "that's why we're not having kids."
If I had more time to think, I would have replied with something like...
Oh. But it gets better.
The man went and sat by his daughter and started to question her about what she ate and when. "What did you eat? What did you eat to make you throw up? Oh you threw it up. Did you eat a milkshake? When did you eat a milkshake? Was it this morning? Or did you eat a milkshake last night and now you threw it up?" The daughter did not answer any of these questions. He continued to talk about her throw up anyway.
And then it gets better.
Instead of getting up and leaving with his child who just puked at the table, he has her lay down on the booth seat and moves over to the other side of the table and continues to eat with his other daughter.
Thank GOD for a kind waitress who noticed Jesse and I were very uncomfortable sitting next this man who could not stop talking about his daughter and her throw up. She offered to move us to another table, which we immediately agreed to. As we were getting settled in our new digs, the man with the puking daughter had gone to the restroom. On his way back to his puke table, he said to Jesse and I, "You didn't move because of us, did you?" To which I replied, "yes." And he said, with a chuckle, "well, just wait until you guys have kids." Because I was in shock, all I could come up with was, "that's why we're not having kids."
If I had more time to think, I would have replied with something like...
- bawling and then saying "our baby died of SIDS you fucking asshole."
or
- "We have kids but one of them got sick at a restaurant so we took them home right away."
When we finished our lunch I went to the counter to pay and he was in line in front of me. He gave me a goofy grin and I looked straight at his face and did not smile. Maybe I should have. But I really wanted to make him very uncomfortable. He probably doesn't ever feel uncomfortable. Anyone who announces to the entire world that his daughter puked at the table, stays to finish his lunch, and then tries to make someone feel silly for moving away from his table because they don't have kids just doesn't get it. He can't. Jesse thinks his wife must be a real bitch and that he didn't pack his sick kid up and take her home because he just didn't want to go home. I hope that is the case. Because I would really hate to think that he was just a bad bad man and father.
On our way out we spoke with the kind waitress who helped us to our new table. She agreed that he should have left with the child. I mentioned that Jesse and I must have "childless" written all over us because he made a huge assumption about us. She said she too thought that was inappropriate.
Please. If you or anyone you are with happens to puke at the table when you are at a restaurant, be kind to me, or anyone else who might be sitting next to you, and leave. Just go. And as you go, don't talk to me.
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